I do not know who coined the phrase Submission Is A Gift. However I know the majority of women/men who are submissive say this. I have heard it so many times from other submissives all the time. However I do not believe that my submission could ever be a gift. In order for something to be a gift it must be selfless and it must be completely without expectation of receiving something in return.
When I hear someone tell me their submission is a gift, I have to ask them if they do not expect to receive dominance in return? Naturally they always say well, yes. I have asked many a submissive this and it is always the same response. Sometimes they add more saying they expect structure, tasks, rules, etc. So explain to me how is your submission then a gift?
Each D/s dynamic is the same when you tear it down to the basic foundations. The dominant offers his dominance. He guides, shapes, protects his submissive. The submissive then returns with their submission. They obey, serve and grow under that dominance. It is a dance of two counterparts. Without one you can still exist but when both are together it makes for more enchanting experience.
Also in regards to giving a gift you do not get to take it back. At least any decent person would not take a gift back. Especially if a relationship ended. A gift is a gift and it stays with the recipient. So are you going to sit here and tell me, that submission is a gift? Well if you gave it away you cannot have it back. It will now belong with that person for the rest of their life.
Don't get me wrong when I was newer to the lifestyle I used to use this phrase as well. I was younger, naive and lacking education into kink and D/s. I used that phrase mostly to top from the bottom when I was a completely shit submissive. My favorite thing to say, well if you are going to abuse this gift I give you, I take it back...bye felicia.
Honestly what about my abuse in return? My toxicity because they told me no, and I did not enjoy that. I was not receptive to their dominance. Honestly it had nothing to do with their dominance. It had everything to do with the fact I as a person, as a submissive needed to learn myself more and the kind of dominance I needed to have upon me. They were not the right fits for me but that is not their fault. That internally was a me issue.
For me it is now laughable hearing this phrase. Now granted if you want to see your submission as a gift then by all means do so. That is your journey, your story and your prerogative but for me I will never see it that way. For me it is just who I am. For me my submission is my entire personality, my way of life and naturally the role I step into. When I line it up with my partners then it becomes a consented contractual agreement negotiated between myself and my dominant.
Also if my submission was a gift then when I have no dominant then where is that gift at? If it is just not who I am as a person, my personality,, how I present myself, where does it go? I know this is likely so unpopular especially since it isnt just submissive people who coin this phrase. I have heard some dominants using it as well. How they respect the gift. Sorry but I am not a box with a bow on top. I cannot be given to you and then regifted to someone else when you are done with it.
Now respecting the submissive as a person. Absolutely that is mandatory. Gaining consent to take control of them and take that submission that is offered to you? ABSOLUTELY MANDATORY!!! However it works both ways. Just as I offer my submission to my dominants, I too must gain consent to accept their dominance. I must respect them as the people they are outside of their dominance. Just as they must understand I am only human and will make mistakes, I too must remind myself that they are as well.
*Gifts cannot be taken back!
*Consent is mandatory!
*Respect is mandatory!
*Submission is who I am, not something I give away.
*I am not a prostitute, so my submission I do not charge money for.
Also in a court of law....a Gift is NOT refundable!!!
