How Did You Discover You Were Kinky?
So I realized early on that I was different growing up. Growing up was rather difficult even if you took out the abuse I endured I had a confusing upbringing. My biological father is an Irish Traveler but due to being adopted he did not get to remain in his tradutions. So he always told me and raised me to be a dutiful house wife. That women do the chores, cooking, and raising children. At least all the inside house hold chores. My mother however kept telling me that I never needed a man I can go and do whatever I wanted. So naturally I wanted to be a house wife, be married and all of that and then part of me screamed at me for not wanting to be independent and just have a fun life without the norms. In school whenever we were asked what we wanted to be when we grew up all the other children said they wanted to be astronauts or doctors and I simply said a wife and mother.
Then you fast forward to Disney's Aladdin. That moment where Jasmine was a prisoner dressed in red, with her gold chains. Jafar grabs them tugs her over and takes a bite of the apple being held in her hands. I wanted that. I was so jealous of her. I would watch the movie over and over again simply for that part alone. As I got older I would soon begin to learn about sex and life and such. That is when my fantasies began. Whenever I cam across someone with a dominant personality I was extremely attracted. I had dreams about being Jasmine in the same scenarios and how badly I wanted to have chains on my body, cuffs and a pretty slave girl serving an apple in the same way.
There was an instance once when my boyfriend had stayed over. We were 17 years old and I remember him asking me to make him a bowl of ramen. The way he told me to make it was to make it with exactly five cups of water. Boil the noodles for four minutes once the water was boiling. Then I was supposed to get him when it was done. So after I followed the instructions he came in and dumped out all of the water put the seasoning packets in and sat down. He asked me if I had done exactly as he had asked. I said yes, and then he laughed at me. He asked me why I did it that way when he was just going to dump the water out anyways. He said the amount of water would not have mattered.
YES HE WAS A DICK ABOUT IT!!!
Still when I think about these things I have always done everything my power to make my boyfriends in the past happy. There were moments I would be at their house and they would just lift their cups up and I would just get up and go fetch them another drink. It wasn't until I was 19 years old that I met a dominant online on a chat program. He took me under his wing and began to teach me about BDSM and the lifestyle and the fact I was a submissive. I served him for a little while and then moved onto the Gorean lifestyle. Between that time and 2014 I went through a few masters some were just jerks and needed to mature more and others left because I needed to mature more. Overall I think my journey in the BDSM world has been fruitful. Some lessons I had to learn the hard way and some came very easily for me. I am grateful that I have gotten to walk my path the way I have and I am really happy where I am currently.