As I am sitting here at work, enjoying some rare downtime, I have read a chapter in my current book "The New Bottoming Book" and am reflecting on how it pertains to me. The chapter was on fantasy versus reality when it comes to play. I am by nature a realist and a hopeful pessimist, which means that I understand that nothing real is perfect and that I hope for the best while being prepared for (and sometimes expecting) the worst. I already know that nothing in reality will measure up to fantasy, and I am more than ok with that.
The thing that hit me the hardest in the chapter was reading the author's reminder that people aren't perfect and that we should accept those imperfections with some grace because the person who doesn't look like your ideal could have a lot to offer. They included looking at our own perceived imperfections and inability to match our fantasy selves and reminded the reader to be accepting of our own imperfections as well. That last part is what really struck me, it brought to mind the old saying "You are your own worst critic". Unfortunately, this is something that I really need to work on. A lifetime of being treated as less-than and having my appearance criticized has left its' mark and I have a very difficult time accepting that anyone sees something worthwhile in me. My primary response when someone complements me has always been "Thank you, but I'm nothing special, I'm just me" because that's what I see, just...me.
Maybe I need to start being more forgiving toward myself and more accepting when others see something good in me. After all, if I can see the good in others instead of focusing on imperfections, why shouldn't I do it for myself.
