Thank you for letting me be part of your world, oh to give it a whirl,
Now I sleep with eyes wide, trying to swallow some form of pride,
To text you,
I used to get butterflies and sighs at mere mention of your name,
Now I have to cover up tears, but I feel I'm the blame,
Over invested, soul tested, again a mess of it,
To remember pretty eyes, and now again the long goodbye,
Only so many more this young boy in here can take,
Because hardening doesn't always work, sometimes that shit just breaks,
Breaks and doesn't repair, and I am well aware that one more like this,
He won't be tempered, but remembered fondly,
The shitty thing is nobody is perfect, and you can always work it,
Work it through, and not assume, that intentions and mentions,
Were about you, but a better me to pursue,
Multi-tasking and not reacting to criticism and blue,
I just wanted to be loved, loved for being who I am,
and if I'm better along the way damn,
We made it through,
But you were running at signs of rain,
Looking toward past trauma to blame,
Am I insane?
Did I let to much slip, when tongues were cracking whips?
Did I not understand what love is?
Unconditional, no record of wrong, that Corinthian song?
Damn me for having a soul of Gomez,
Giving out love like some candy Pez,
Hoping for reciprocation in some fashion,
Now I feel I'm left with twenty lashes,
Got the scars to prove it, internally,
Just wish love was like my moms, maternally,
But the truth is the only unconditional love we have,
Is when we actual find another half,
Through god some say,
I can't, because I don't know.
But regardless of it all,
I know you there listening from my fall,
Keep giving y'all,
Because Karma remembers.
Amen.