A Masochist's Adventures in Wonderland
Chapter 2
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Ash led the way through the hotel lobby toward the stairs near the bank of elevators. I glanced over at Riley again.
I probably shouldn’t go off alone with someone I just met, but I sure as hell couldn’t stay here.
Riley and the other dominant woman were in the process of unstrapping their victim from the torture chair.
He sobbed his eyes out and even screamed every time they unclipped the clothespins from his body.
They petted his hair, kissed his wet cheeks, and stroked his chest, face, and neck. He barely noticed.
Riley petted, kissed, and stroked him, too.
I had to look away. She was not acting so intimate with a total stranger when we were supposed to be questioning these people about Maynard Sutherland’s death.
Coming here with her was a colossal mistake. I should just walk away right now, but I couldn’t leave her here alone, either.
Anything would be better than staying here in the lobby, though.
The man who had been holding the woman by the throat and spitting curses at her a few minutes ago now had her on her knees in the middle of the floor.
He stood over her with a leather dog leash attached to a padded blue and black collar buckled around her neck.
He wrapped the leash around his fist and yanked the leash hard enough to make the woman flinch. He used the leash and collar to drag her face closer to his crotch.
He held a black leather riding crop in his other hand. He kept cutting her across the hips, thighs, and sides with the crop while he went on snarling at her through bared teeth.
The look of ferocious rage on his face sealed the deal. I turned on my heel and walked away to follow Ash out of the room.
Following Ash was the only place I had left to go. I was already getting myself into a situation I couldn’t get out of exactly the way he said I was.
I expected him to go up the stairs, but instead, he turned off into an office tucked underneath them. I didn’t even know this room was here.
He switched on a lamp to light the room. “Come on in,” he called over his shoulder. “Shut the door behind you so you don’t hear what’s going on out there.”
I shut it. It mercifully cut out the sound of that man crying in the torture chair. How in God’s name did I get myself into this?
“Take a seat,” Ash told me. “Make yourself comfortable. You can wait here until your friend is ready to leave.”
I slumped into a deep, padded leather armchair in front of a massive oaken desk. Was this Ash’s office? How could it be when the club only used this hotel as the venue for their…..whatever the hell this was?
He leaned against the edge of the desk on the other side facing one wall. Giant windows covered that wall and looked out into a garden behind the hotel.
The garden hung in shadow. Only a faint glimmer of light from inside made it out there to light the shrubs and flowerbeds.
“Your friend seems like she has a lot of experience,” he remarked over his shoulder. “She looked like she knew what she was doing out there.”
I looked away. “I don’t know how much experience she has—but yeah. She was a dominant before we came here. I don’t know how long she’s been into it. I never knew she could do that. I feel sorry for the guy.”
“Why?” he asked. “He loves it. That’s why he does it.”
My head shot up. “He loves it?! Are you serious?! You saw him. He was in agony. He was crying his eyes out and screaming in pain.”
“Did you also see the way his dominant looked at him while she was doing it? They love each other. She takes good care of him. She would never let anything happen to him. She would never even let anything happen to him that he didn’t want to happen to him. That’s why they do it—to take care of each other.”
I looked away. “I don’t know anything about that.”
He turned around and frowned at me. “Why are you here if you think it’s so horrible? You came here to find out about it. That’s what you said.”
I tried to shrug it away and wound up looking at my hands. “I don’t know. I guess I’m just curious. I mean, I know what BDSM is and I’ve read a lot about it—and Riley has told me about it. I just don’t know how anyone could do that.”
“How do you think you’re going to find out about it if you don’t experience it for yourself?”
“I don’t know. Maybe I won’t experience it for myself. Maybe I’ll just have to live in wonder. I mean, it isn’t like I could experience it without going through something like that. I couldn’t do that.”
“It wouldn’t have to be like that. You could have an experience without anything happening to you. Then you would know whether you like it or not.”
“How would I do that without someone….you know…..dominating me?”
“Do you even know what it would mean for someone to dominate you?” he asked.
“Of course. It means….all of that.” I waved my hand toward the door. “I saw you whipping that woman out there. I could never let anyone do that to me.”
“I whipped her because she begged me on her knees to give her a whipping. I wouldn’t have done it otherwise.”
My head snapped up again. “She….you mean…..so she’s your….submissive or whatever you call it?”
“No, she isn’t my submissive. I don’t have a submissive of my own. She actually belongs to another man, but he isn’t here tonight. He texted me earlier and asked me to whip her, but I didn’t do it until she asked.”
“You mean she begged,” I corrected.
“Yes. You weren’t here for that part, but I’m sure you could go out there and ask a dozen people who will tell you that she did.”
I looked away again. This conversation was going somewhere I really didn’t like.
“Domination doesn’t mean any of that,” he went on. “You don’t understand what domination or submission are if you think it’s only that. I think you need to do some more research before you do anything with anyone.”
“What is it then, if it isn’t that? How would I find out if I don’t do something like that with someone?”
“I could show you what it is without ever laying a finger on you,” he told me.
I gaped at him in shock. “You could not.”
Now it was his turn to shrug. “I’m just saying. I could show you what domination is if you want me to. Then you would at least know.”
I frowned more to myself than at him. “How would you do that?”
“I would dominate you.”
“But how?”
“I would have to show you—but I swear to you on my mother’s grave that I won’t lay a finger on you. You have my solemn word of honor that nothing will happen to you. You’ll be completely safe at all times. You won’t be restrained. You can walk out that door anytime you want to. I won’t do anything but talk.”
I couldn’t stop furrowing my brow. “I don’t believe you.”
He stood up, spread both arms, and walked away toward the window. “The offer is there if you want it. If you don’t, no problem. At least you would know.”
He turned to the windows and looked out at the garden like he just put the whole matter out of his mind.
My brain turned a few somersaults. I really didn’t believe he or anyone could dominate me without at least doing something physical.
I had been getting progressively more curious about BDSM the longer this case went on. Riley filled my head full of all kinds of stories.
Mainly I just became insatiably curious to find out how any sane person could let another person do something like that to them and actually enjoy it while it was happening.
Riley talked a lot about how BDSM brought a couple closer together and actually fostered deep emotional bonds. She didn’t think those bonds were even possible without the intensity of a BDSM relationship.
I wasn’t ready to believe her, but what if there was no other way to find out? Could I live with all these burning questions gnawing a hole in the back of my mind for the rest of forever?
Ash’s offer kept repeating in my mind. I would probably never get another opportunity like this.
He said he wouldn’t touch me. What could possibly go wrong?
I looked up. “All right. I’ll do it, but you have to promise you won’t touch me.”
He turned around to face me and raised both hands again. “I won’t. I swear it.”
I looked around from right to left. “So….what do I have to do?”
“Not so fast. We have to negotiate terms and consent first.”
“How do we do that?”
He came back over and sat down on the edge of the desk. This time, he did it right in front of me so he could look straight down at me.
I got a sinking feeling like I was a high school kid at the principal’s office. Did I get myself into something here—something I would regret?
“If we do this, you have to promise to do exactly as I say for the duration of the session.” He checked his watch. “I promise the session won’t last more than fifteen minutes. Then it will end. I’ll stop dominating you and you’ll leave, but during that time, you have to do exactly as I say. Do you agree to that?”
“I guess so.” I didn’t see how anything could go wrong with that as long as he didn’t touch me.
“You’ll be able to stop the session at anytime, either by just walking away and leaving whenever you choose or you can say the word, ‘red’. Do you understand the traffic light system?”
“Yeah. Riley told me about it—and she told me all about safe words and everything.”
“Great. So you understand your safe word and you also know that you can leave at anytime. I also want you to promise me to be entirely truthful with me about what you’re feeling through the whole session. I won’t ask you to reveal anything personal that might compromise you in any way, but you have to be honest about how you’re feeling in that moment. Do you understand? You have to tell me if you’re feeling scared or excited or bored or anything. Is that clear?”
I nodded. “Yeah. It’s clear.”
“Is there anything you want to ask me or that you think we need to clarify before we get started?”
“I don’t think so.”
“If anything comes up during the session, you can stop and ask me. Okay?”
I nodded again. “Okay.”
“Okay. We’re starting now. Stand up and go stand over there.” He pointed to the open floor behind the armchairs.
I stood up and made an executive decision to leave my clutch on the seat of my chair. I wouldn’t be able to grab my sidearm the instant something went wrong, but I would be able to get to it quickly if I needed it.
I stepped behind the chair and stopped where he told me to. I shuffled my feet waiting for something to happen.
Don’t even ask me why I agreed to this, but something about the guy made him seem solid, practical, and level-headed.
He had been nothing but polite, considerate, and casual toward me since the minute he dragged James away from me.
Riley had also explained to me what Dungeon Masters were. They were responsible for the safety and good behavior of everyone in the club.
Ash must be pretty responsible if everyone put him in charge of their safety and good behavior.
He came across as very responsible—probably because he was an older guy. He came across as being perfectly self-possessed.
He didn’t need to do this or anything else. He could take it or leave it.
He didn’t do anything or even say anything at first. He just sat there on the edge of the desk staring at me for what seemed like a long time.
He always kept his eyes and expression casual before now—except when he got mad about James hitting on me.
Ash didn’t turn those ferocious eyes on me now, but his intense stare made me squirm. What did he see? Was I being submissive enough just by standing here in front of him?
He finally pushed himself off the desk and walked over to me. His eyes hardened as he got closer. His eyes actually narrowed, but he still didn’t look angry.
I cringed before that look. What was he going to do?
He promised he wouldn’t touch me. I had to remember that at all costs. He promised nothing would happen to me—and I had a firearm right over there on the chair.
He stopped in front of me, gave me one hard look, and walked around me in a complete circle.
He didn’t even try to hide it when he dragged those hard, all-seeing eyes down my dress and back up to my face. He cocked his head to scrutinize me in every detail.
I fidgeted like the science specimen that I was. He walked behind me and came around the other side still studying me under a microscope.
His eyes flashed with something like danger when he passed me in front for the second time.
He stopped behind me.
His presence radiated a kind of power I had never experienced before. I gulped.
He lowered his voice to a husky murmur. “What made you think you were submissive?” he asked.
“I….I don’t know….” I stammered. “I guess…..I don’t know…..I guess……guys that I’ve been with…..they seem……kind of like they don’t know what they’re doing…..like I just really want someone who knows what they’re doing……”
He leaned in close behind me until his hot breath seared the side of my neck. “Do I seem like the kind of guy who would know what I was doing with you?”
I swallowed hard. I promised to be totally honest with him. I could have easily lied, but the feeling of unstoppable energy coming from behind me wouldn’t let me lie.
I couldn’t speak above a whisper. “Yes,” I choked.
He leaned back, but his presence didn’t go away. “Shut your eyes,” he told me.
I shut them. His presence back there racked my nerves. How was he even doing this to me?
His voice started migrating in a circle around me. He walked around and around me like a shark circling its prey.
I trembled waiting for something—something like an attack. He didn’t touch me, though. I was really starting to wish he would.
Him touching me right now would have felt like an attack, but it also would have been a relief. At least then I wouldn’t have to wait and wonder what was about to happen.
“I want you to imagine you’re in an intimate situation with a guy,” he murmured. “I want you to imagine you’re either sitting on a couch or lying in bed or in a car or something like that—and you’re getting intimate with each other. You’re kissing and touching each other. He runs his hands down your sides and then up to your breasts.”
Those words hypnotized me into a trance. I actually started to get turned on.
His voice throbbed with low, sultry power. It reverberated into my bones. I couldn’t get away from it.
That voice caressed me all over. I felt his hands touching me—not some random guy. It was him. It was Ash.
“You feel yourself starting to want him. You want him to take you. You want him to push you back on the seat or on the bed. You want him to take control of you and tell you what to do. You want him to own you and move you around the way he wants.”
My body started to vibrate with the kind of passion and desire I would feel in that situation. A rush of heat blasted to my crotch and soaked my panties.
Ash stopped behind me again and whispered in my ear. “Do you feel that? Do you feel how much you want him to take you?”
“Yes!” I whispered.
“You want him to hold you down, don’t you? You want him to do whatever he wants with you. You want him to grab you and possess you. You want him to overwhelm you and overpower you.”
“Yes!” I could barely get the word out. Saying it hurt.
He leaned back again and took his massive presence with him. That hurt, too. I didn’t want him to leave. I wanted him to stay near me and keep radiating into me.
“Open your eyes, go stand in front of the window, and put your hands on the window frame at the height of your head.”
I dragged my eyes open. I felt drunk and dazed. What was happening to me?
His voice acted on my senses like another command. I blundered over to the window and rested my hands against the window frame.
I felt myself shaking as Ash came up behind me again.
He leaned in extra closely and passed his breath up and down my exposed neck and all the way up to my ear.
“You want this, don’t you?” he breathed. “You want a man to own you, don’t you?”
My eyes clamped shut on their own now. His breath made me shiver. I felt myself shaking all over.
“Yes!” I whispered.
“You feel me stroking your sides right now, don’t you? You feel me touching you and turning you on. You feel me squeezing your hips and pulling you into me. Do you feel that?”
I choked. I couldn’t speak.
I tried to answer, but I wound up gasping instead. How was he doing this to me? He didn’t touch me or even hardly look at me.
His voice did something to me that no other man had ever done to me—ever. I couldn’t stop shaking.
I really felt his hands on me—and his voice on me. His voice squeezed my hips, scooped up to my breasts, crushed me against him—and took me.
His voice crept between my legs and teased me to a screaming orgasm. His voice coiled inside me and occupied the deepest recesses of my soul.
“You have no idea how beautiful you look right now, baby,” he murmured. “You have no idea how much I want to touch you. I could make you feel things you never imagined. You’re beyond beautiful.”
I almost started crying from those words. I just wanted to be good enough for him to touch me, but he wouldn’t.
That seemed like such an insult now. I never should have agreed to him not touching me. I needed his touch in ways I never thought possible.
He stood back again and left me cold. I didn’t know what I needed. I didn’t trust this guy. I didn’t even know him and yet he did something to me I couldn’t explain even to myself.
“Stand up straight and put your arms down,” he told me.
I did it, but I still couldn’t bring myself to open my eyes. How could I face him? How could I face anything with all these feelings burning a hole through my insides?
“In a few minutes, you’re going to open your eyes, walk out that door, talk to your friend, and you two are going to leave and go home,” he told me in the same soft undertone. “You need to come back to Earth before that happens. You don’t need to rush. Take all the time you need to pull yourself together. Then you can turn around, open your eyes, and look at me. Do you understand?”
I nodded down at the floor, but I couldn’t stop myself from gulping again. I really didn’t know if I could face him after he said all those things and made me feel this way.
That was the weirdest part. He didn’t make me feel this way about a random guy. He made me feel this way about him.
I stood there with my eyes closed and my head bowed for a minute trying to understand what the hell was happening to me.
Riley said dominants and submissives created deep emotional bonds with each other. Was this what she meant?
The idea of walking out of this room and never seeing Ash again—it made me want to break down sobbing uncontrollably. I couldn’t face it—but I had to.
I took a deep shuddering breath and forced myself to open my eyes. I wound up looking through the window at the garden.
The sight brought me back to reality. He was right. The moment was over, but I would never forget it.
I would walk out of here and go on with my life as though none of this ever happened—but it did happen. I just didn’t know what it was that happened.
I turned around.
Ash stood behind me looking down at me with a very different expression on his face. He actually looked sad—or maybe just like he was in some kind of excruciating emotional pain.
His voice broke when he asked, “Are you okay?”
I lowered my eyes. Looking at him hurt.
I nodded in stupid shock. How did I start feeling this way about someone I didn’t even know?
He raised his hand, cupped my chin, and lifted my face to gaze into my eyes. “You’re beautiful,” he whispered. “You’re perfect. Your heart is so pure. You’re going to make some guy very happy.”
I gulped again. I really wanted to kiss him—or maybe crawl into his arms and disappear.
No one had ever made me feel this way—not ever. I didn’t even know what I was feeling for him right now.
Right at that moment, my phone rang in my handbag across the room. Ash dropped his hand immediately.
He stayed where he was while I rushed over to my handbag, took out my phone, and answered it.
It was Riley. “Where are you?” she demanded. “You better not have left me here by myself.”
“I’m in the office talking to the Dungeon Master. Some guy tried to hit on me and the Dungeon Master brought me here to get me out of the line of fire.”
“Did you question anyone? No one here knows anything about Maynard Sutherland.”
I glanced at Ash. He couldn’t hear our conversation—except for my side of it. “I know. We can leave now.”
“Okay. I’m still in the lobby, so I’ll just wait for you.”
“I’m on my way out now.”
I hung up…..and turned back to Ash. What was I supposed to say to him—thanks and see ya later?
He straightened up, came over to me, and stopped in front of me. Just standing here with him looking down at me felt like the most torturous sexual experience of my life.
“Are you going to be okay?” he asked. “It’s best practice for me to get your phone number and check on you in the next twenty-four hours after any kind of play—including psychological play. I understand if you don’t feel comfortable giving me your number, but if you want me to….”
“That’s okay,” I blurted out. “You don’t have to. I’ll be fine. I better go. My friend is waiting for me. Thank you. I’ll see you later.”
I bolted out of the office as quickly as possible, met up with Riley, and got the hell out of there before anything else could go wrong.
End of Chapter 2.
