How it started and where it is going

ThomasVa - You are absolutely 100% right on this issue.

Cello Trance​{for You} - Reality? What is that? I’ve heard of that word before.

MountaintopMaster - Hmmm...

Are they a strong leader in their vanilla life? Are they a teacher, a guide, a director, manager, an inn-charge type of decision-maker?

If yes, then there's a chance.

If no, then yeah, their role of "submission" in everyday life may be their whole personality.

Yeah, some folks have a dual nature, such as the cliche of the strong powerful executive guy who secretly goes to see a Domme. But generally speaking, the people who are dominant in their kink life, aren't actually all that "submissive" in their vanilla life. Maybe I'm wrong, I'd love to hear from others about my theory haha.

But anyways, yeah, the Midwest upbringing, or the good wholesome Christian / religious upbringing in general... That's a tough one. They are often "submitted" to a higher power, and to them, asserting dominance is going to feel either very wrong or just...it's a blank empty void where such ideas, decisions, plans, and actions should lurk.

MizBehaved​(sub female) - That is very accurate insight! There is no aspect in his life, where he has ever chosen or wanted to take charge

MountaintopMaster - Ouch! I guess my next two questions would be, (purely for the sake of my interest in psychology as a whole) ...do you think the person would consider it an insult to be accused of never taking charge? Or would they agree that they actually feel comfortable letting other people make big decisions?

I ask because I think there are multiple ways to determine if someone is either "never going to be this-or-that", ...or if they do have something deep inside them that simply needs to be nurtured and released...

Sometimes a guy might argue, "that's not true, I like being in charge and making decisions, but I simply prefer to let you choose because I want lyou to be happy. If we're picking a restaurant for date night and I'm happy with *anything*, why wouldn't I let you choose?"

Obviously, this is sound logic, from a vanilla standpoint, but what such people fail to realize is that the simple act of having to decide, when compounded a thousand times a day, is exhausting. Sometimes, the best way to take care of someone is to just lift that burden. A "not dominant" person can understand this, but they might still not be capable of taking up the challenge of making lots of decisions just so that others don't have to.

TopekaDom​(dom male) - It is my firm belief that you can't "Make" anyone be anything in the lifestyle. Educate sometimes, but not really make.

But then, sometimes us old midwest guys are already Doms

Cello Trance​{for You} - Yeah. All of us mid Atlantic East Coast Dom’s are all impatient. If you don’t hit your gas right when the light changes green, we’re gonna honk at you :-)