Infernal Affairs

"Lust equals fire when you come to me
Obsession and craving burning inside of me
Pain feeds desire as you cut me deep
Sharpened caresses of debauchery

It runs through my veins and through my heart
Assuring that death won't do us part
Then leaving me craving torn apart... I just want you

Rust equals blood and I hear you sigh
"Pain will be gone in a blink of an eye"
Fear turns to dust with a blissful cry
Self-pollution's how we cleanse the lie... I just want you

It's useless to tame, so useless to point your fingers and blame
The hunger that's screaming out your name
It's needless to say, I need you inside my heart to stay
All else is cleansed away, all else is hollow anyway"

"You may not be her first, 

her last, or her only.

She loved before
she may love again.

But if she loves you now,
what else matters?

She's not perfect—you aren't either,
and the two of you may never be perfect together
but if she can make you laugh,
cause you to think twice,
and admit to being human and making mistakes,
hold onto her and give her the most you can.

She may not be thinking about you every second of the day,
but she will give you a part of her
that she knows you can break—her heart.

So don't hurt her,
don't change her,
don't analyze and
don't expect more than she can give.

Smile when she makes you happy,
let her know when she makes you mad,
and miss her when she's not there"

~Bob Marley

All the power, ultimately, lies with the sub. 

Iif the sub doesn't accept me as a dom, I can't dominate her. If she doesnt accept my authority, I can't tell her what to do.  If the sub simply refuses to submit, then I am at a loss. 

The sub needs to accept my authority over her and the power of my decree has to compel her on some level.  Nothing I do can force that. All that comes about by her conscious or unconscious will. 

Sure, a good, experienced dom will likely have developed talents and skills such as physical presence, strength of personality, charisma and gravitas that make his acceptance easier to the sub.  But nothing the dom does can mystically force another person - however they are naturally inclined - to submit.

This is why getting to know your sub before any kink matters.  This is why being a dom is not just rough sex and a telling off voice. A good D/s relationship is a reciprocal thing.  The sub gives the dom at least as much as the dom gives the sub.

Earn your sub's trust and she will tell you all the things that turn her on.  She will show you how she prefers to be dommed - cos that matters just as much as your domming style. The clue is in the term "relationship".  It exists for both parties.

Having been away from the scene for some time, I'm finding my psychosexual self reacting in a different way than I'd expected. 

I haven't had a sub, slave or plaything for some time and naturally I find myself starting to pine just a little for my lost role as a full on, real world, practicing dom. 

But it's not the sex that I miss.  Much that I enjoy placing parts of myself inside selected other people, it's not that aspect of it that occupies my mind right now.  Similarly, it's not "the kink", either.  The punishments, rules, order or even the domination per se.

The part I pine for it really getting to know a sub, worming my way into their psyche and their sexual urges and testing myself and my authority and skill as a dom to see how I can have them submit to me and how I can reward their obeisance with sexual gratification of (hopefully) the most powerful kind.

It is the dynamic and the connection that I miss. The sense of achievement and power that comes from having a strong woman submit to me willingly. 

If I could only bottle that... ;) 

You, who stand there now
I will not tell you not to cry
Without fail my purpose
Will be fulfilled
I can crown you a God
And I'll suffer for your sins
Bound so tightly, pain is everything
Far from kindness. I am your king
Believe you're in Hell, but your's is Heaven
Cry to die. You'll love me forever

On a pale, teary cheek
Tears cascade to your feet
Whipped to the floor once again
Laughing and lashing you away
Burning pain scars through your skin
But it's 'more' you cry, for you are a sinner
We suffer in love, but you love to suffer
Your misery is your majesty
Though your skin may burn and your wounds, bleed
The only real ache is between your legs
You've learned well, through your Hell
Your pain was nothing. You longed for more
Your shameful Heaven is full of devils
Just like me. Just for you

Far from the band's best work, but seemed apt as a first post.