Infernal Affairs

Loving the machine head live stream right now

Netflix gives me some brain food I hadn't considered. 

Watching Mindhunter and a scene in which the FBI are interviewing a killer who's into S&M.

He's asked if he's a dom or sub.  He replies that he started out as a sub and says that everyone does.

I appreciate that other doms might disagree, but I certainly spent my youth and teen years being very submissive.

The guy on the program says it's how you learn what a sub wants and how far you can go. 

Maybe so.  Maybe so. 

I'd forgotten how rewarding it is to have a capable sub. 

I've missed this... 

Staind - Outside

And you
Can bring me to my knees
Again

All the times
That I could beg you please
In vain

All the times
That I felt insecure
For you

And I leave
My burdens at the door

But I'm on the outside
I'm looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
'Cause inside you're ugly
You're ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you

All the times
That I felt like this won't end
It's for you

And I taste
What I could never have
It was from you

All those times
That I cry my intentions
Full of pride

But I waste
More time than anyone

But I'm on the outside
I'm looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
'Cause inside you're ugly
You're ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you

All the times
That I've cried
All that's wasted
It's all inside
And I feel all this pain
Stuffed it down
It's back again
And I lie
Here in bed
All alone
I can't mend
But I feel
Tomorrow will be okay

But I'm on the outside
I'm looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
'Cause inside you're ugly
You're ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you

If anyone else feels the need to call me out for some perceived slight - real or imaginary then I am more than happy to receive and consider their critique - feedback and continuous improvement and all that.

However blocking me immediately after sending your scurrilous accusation is the act of a coward, no less. 

If you call yourself a man, you should have the decency and character to stand by your words.  Rather than hiding away like a nidhing. 

I bleach the sky
Every night
Loaded on wrong
And further from right
Spinning around
Two howling moons
'Cause they're always there
Whatever I do

The river is loaded
I've been there today
Took it some questions
She does me again
I'd die in your arms
If you were dead too
Here comes a lie
We will always be true

Going up when coming down
Scratch away, away, away, away

It's the little things that kill
Tearing at my brains again
Oh the little things that kill
That little thing that kill

The bigger you give bigger you get
We're boss at denial
But best at forget
Cupboard is empty we really need food
Summer is winter and you always knew

Going up when coming down
Scratch away
It's the little things that kill
Tearing at my brains again
Oh the little things that kill
Tearing at my brains again
Oh little little little
Little little little
Little little little

I touch your mouth my will is food
Addicted to love I'm addicted to bull-shit
I kill you once I kill you again
We're starving and crude
Welcome my friends to

To the little things that kill
Tearing at my brains again
Oh the little things that kill
Tearing at my brains again
Oh that little little little
Little little little

Here it comes that little things
Here it comes that little ah ah ah ah little, little

"Quite an experience to live in fear, isn't it?  That's what it is to be a slave."

Not enough time to myself to enjoy the fin things

"I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way than this: where I does not exist, nor you,

so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep."

Apologies for the pretentious title.  For some reason, Byron got stuck in my head while I was creating this post and he can be a tricky fellow to dispatch.

Anyjow, the point of this post (if it has one) is to counter my current insomnia.  Its gone 4am here and there is stuff rattling around in my head which is keeping me from the land of Nod.

I've been know, on occasion, to haunt NSFW twitter.  I'm not proud of it, but sometimes I get the urge to slim it with a dom profile I created.

BDSM on there is very porn fixated, with an uninspiring selection of doms and subs, very few of whom have any idea what they're doing.  That said, when I feel the need for a little arousal, it will do in a pinch.  The subs are sometimes pretty, if artless. 

It strikes me though, more evident there than in other places I've seen, that the art of seduction is dead. Subtlety forgotten and in its place a kind of graphic, mechanical shadow of erotica. 

An attempt to arouse is often instigated with pictures.  Usually nudes and it usually isn't long until the first genital close up is sent. 

Being a gentleman myself (!?) I prefer at least something to be left to my imagination.

As I've said before, the mind is, cto me, the most erotic part of the body.  Let me use mine.  Rather than gynaecological views, send me suggestive pictures.  That sheer dress that subtlety suggests the fullness of your hips.  That expensive underwear that shows and yer conceals. A picture that suggests nakedness without completely  confirming it.

A photo that shows me the arc at the small of your back, the sweep of your thigh or the sultry curve of your hip.  Suggest to me, in picture form, what I would gradually reveal as were I to slowly peel those clothes from your supplicant body. 

Show me aching glimpses of what it is that I'd take from you.  Tease me with promises of carnal pleasures. 

Or alternatively, as often found on twitter, send me a picture of your cervix, by way of introduction! ;)