== Results from bdsmtest.org: ==
86% Switch
85% Non-monogamist
83% Experimentalist
79% Dominant
68% Primal (Hunter)
67% Exhibitionist
58% Vanilla
56% Voyeur
46% Rigger
40% Submissive
33% Brat tamer
32% Master/Mistress
26% Rope bunny
14% Owner
13% Sadist
9% Daddy/Mommy
8% Primal (Prey)
5% Masochist
3% Degrader
1% Pet
0% Ageplayer
0% Brat
0% Degradee
0% Little
0% Slave
I picture the whole scene on my mind. When I feel this connection, this delightful sense of comfort with a person, I share my fantasies and discover many more deeply hidden within. My imagination flies, and I feel all my desires on the loose, riding on my mind untamed, every corner of my body, every bit of skin on the urge to feel and be felt.
Look at me, I’m willing to be touched, explored, desired, felt, tasted, smelled. Now close your eyes and get closer. Listen to my heart fast pounding. With all your senses on me, all mine are awakened.
Yet I’m still trying to get a grasp on the site. Besides a couple of connections and the blog, I feel out of place here. I like to talk with people, and I do here but it has been somewhat difficult to connect. I’m not into D/s right now and I’ve noticed this is the forte of the site. Listing myself as Vanilla has kept the “sub collectors” at bay. I was given tasks and Doms started to vet me since day 1. Nope, not for me not into dynamics and definitely not a sub. I’ve learned things and basic principles of BDSM enough to spot a fake, inexperienced Dom at a distance and with surgical precision. Here is no different than any other site in that sense: the Napoleons Doms, self proclaimed and mostly clueless. "Trust before obedience”, “Submission is earned” , so basic yet so overridden or ignored by the pseudo Doms! They take, demand, command, discipline and punish. The sub needs, wants and expectations? “Who cares? I’m the God, Master, Disciplinarian that by self claimed right deserve blind obedience, my needs satisfied and complete control” Geez!! Here’s full of them, no room for kinks and fetishes, so I just write. It’s free and fulfills one of my needs.
Started terrible, and I knew it in advance. It’s been like this for the last 20 years. Not to mention the awful pain in the back. Made new connections there, surprising good conversationalists. Then unexpected lols and hahas started to ease the pain my soul was carrying. Writing, (like a good writing, not like journaling) was cathartic and who inspired it… that amazing person, one tall angel, has been a blessing since I started this journey. I talked with old, young, new, long time friends, and that gentleman here that keeps calling me doll. He’s amazing too. I’m not a laughing person, much less today. All those who brought a smile to my face or made me laugh deserve either a gold medal or a kink performance by me. Their choice. Lol.
It’s Saturday and it shows I feel the void at night, the ache, the absence, but I know how things are. Whatever I get is an extra bonus.
Thought of the day:
No expectations, no disappointment. Acknowledge your feelings. Sadness is a valid emotion. True friends notice your suffering and offer support, and joy comes from whom you least expect it.
Sir Morpheus banned me from his realm until very late last night. I refused to beg. Got cautionary measures to avoid this today. I’m no beggar!
Yes, red is my color. I discovered how to shit post pretty! I’ve been feeling great for several days. This self discovery journey never ceases to amaze me. I’ve always been more responsive to words than to pictures, but words in some voices are extremely seductive to me, not only because the voice is soothing but about the connection that already has been created. I think it never happened to me before. There are so many aspects of myself yet to be discovered and I ain’t holding myself back. I used to say Friday, now are bittersweet. I totally enjoy being at home, but that means other people are in their homes too, so it’s like expect the unexpected, and it will be great as always is. I’ve caught myself doing things, feelings emotions that I never thought I’d be able to do or feel. The circumstances are less than ideal, but I knew that beforehand.
I feel different. This is something different, and I was a step away from missing it all!! I wasn’t supposed to be there. I’ve said to myself that I was leaving. Finding beautiful old souls like your own is such an amazing experience! Some voices leave me speechless.
Thought of the day
Leave me speechless and I’ll leave you breathless
Now officially Vanilla. Way less hassle.
Feeling fabulous, probably about yesterday. I’m aural sensitive and some voices make my body react in a surprising, great way.
Spent the day in IDGAF-ish way. Sassy and firstly.
Thought of the day
Nothing will stop me to speak my mind. We might be in a kink site (this one or any other) and I’m free to express myself and choose with whom I’ll interact in that matter. If we’re not in the same page, I just move on.
I’m brand new here, but not in similar sites or in life either. I’m willing to connect and learn.
Thought of the day:
Lovense is a godsend!