Obedient Bunny

The thunder booms and the lightening crashes as I hold you tight. Your grief and pain leaks out as you shudder in my arms. “Shush baby, I know it hurts but it will be OK. I’m here to help you, if you let me.” I kiss your forehead and run my fingers through your hair. I want to take your pain and sorrow and bundle it up and put it up on a shelf but I can’t, you have to go through it.

It feels like being underwater. You push to the surface, at least you try to, but you only sink deeper. Grief is like that. Just when you think you might break through that piece of seaweed wraps around your ankle. The mermaid under the surface grabs your arm and pulls you back.

You feel like pulling your hoodie over your head and pulling the strings tight so you can’t see out. If you can’t see out then no one can see in. And if they can’t see you then you can ignore them. And in ignoring them there is peace, at least for a few minutes. You know at some point you will have to take your hood down and face them, but just not right now.

Another casserole, another plate of food. Another hand on your shoulder. They mean well but they just annoy you. You sneak out to the greenhouse to hide, you hide in her sanctuary. The flowers smell just like they did last week, they don’t know that she’s gone. How do you tell them?

You don’t want to feel better right now. You want to wallow, and that’s OK. Wallowing is a valid reaction to losing someone dear to you. We all wallow in our own way. You? Well you get quiet, maybe you shut down. But those that know you know you’ll pull out of it because you are strong. You know what needs to be done. And when it is all settled, when all has been laid to rest, you can work on feeling better.

She brought a pillow, a tufted cushion just for kneeling. He loved her on her knees but the floor was hard and cold, so she bought a pillow. It was big and round and black. It cradled her knees perfectly while she worshiped him from her knees. He never asked if she was comfortable, he didn’t care, he just wanted her on her knees in front of him. She settled in and waited for him to command her to open her mouth so he could slide in. The pillow made the waiting bearable. He finally said open and she did. He slide to the back of her mouth and a bit down her throat and started fucking her mouth. Harder and deeper. Faster and harder until he came flooding her mouth, her throat until his cum dribbled from her lips and damn it right onto her new pillow, but only she noticed.

People that know me well know New Years Day is my favorite holiday. The new year is a blank slate, waiting for me to make my mark on it. All my journals are empty waiting for my profound declarations. My “ledger” for the year is still in the black. I do not make resolutions I make wishes for a better me. Health, patience, and love, those are what my new years wishes center around. I like the idea that the year is brand new and I haven’t done anything to fuck it up yet. I haven’t had any confrontations with anyone. I haven’t loved and been hurt. I haven’t really done anything yet. There is a world of endless possibilities in front of me and I’m determined to grab at least one.

Some new years, like this one, I do have things to look forward to. Those things may lead to a confrontation and I may get my heart broken, but I’m willing to take that risk. I have been trying to find the right year to declare it “The Year of Me” but so far there hasn’t been one, but I have high hopes for 2026. What do I mean by The Year of Me? I mean the year that I finally shrug off all the things that have been holding me back, and bring out the things that make me special and unique. I’ve had some help to get me on my way. A Dom who is patient and understanding. He encourages me to be comfortable being my true self. He helps me understand not to worry about what other people think, only what he and I think, that’s all. He has been the single most important influence on my life in a very long time and I love that he chose me.

I will reassess my behavior for the last year and see where I can make improvements. Was I a good friend? A good sister? Or a good mother? Was I a good submissive to my master? So many places where I could improve. Not for “them” but for me, for us. Change takes time and patience. It takes the understanding of those around you. And it takes work, hard work. But that’s what a new year is for. I can start over, put in the work and hopefully improve and become who I want to be. For me, for my Master, for my family.

 

Happy New Year to all the wonderful people I have met on The Cage and to the ones I will meet in the future.

11-27-2025

If I took your hand and started to lead you away

Would you follow?

If I could dispelled all your excuses

Would you follow?

If there was no reason for you to stay

No reason that you’d need your old life

Would you follow me?

If the new life I offer was exciting and fresh

With all the people you love

But none of the problems

Would you follow me?

No money issues, no job unless you want one

And then only if it is perfect for you

Would you follow me?

Where the political climate was healthy

And the world outlook was bright

Would you follow me?

And if I couldn’t promise you any of those things

If all I had to offer was me

Would you follow?

 

I get excited when I see he’s on line

I wait expectantly for a message from him

What’s taking so long?

What’s he doing?

Isn’t he here for me?

Be patient, calm down, take deep breaths

I sit quietly watching my laptop screen

Nothing happens so I refresh again and again

Is this punishment, the withdrawal of contact?

The thing he knows I crave more than anything else

His words, his voice, his steady command

All fuel my desire and enter my heart

And on the last refresh

He’s gone

 

I don’t really care for the holidays, especially Thanksgiving. It always was too much work for too little pay off. I’d clean and cook and then everyone would gobble (pun intended) down the food and fall asleep in front of the TV until it was time for dessert then they’d eat that and go, leaving me with all the clean up. However this year is different. I have something, rather someone, to be thankful for. I found someone that makes me happy. Someone that challenges me, pushes me to be the best version of myself that I can be. Someone who saw what I was hiding deep inside and coaxed my true self out into the open. Never in a million years would I have thought that I would find him on a site like this. But I have and I am eternally grateful. Getting to know him has been an adventure. I haven’t had to interact this much with another person in a long time, and so intimately as well. He makes me feel things I thought were dormant, things that in the past had gotten me into situations because others didn’t understand. He has helped me regain some of my self confidence. He has really pushed me to think about how I want the world to see me, how I will present myself to others. He has taught me that as long as I am honest and true to myself then others opinions don’t carry as much weight as they used to.  Right now it is his opinion that matters to me the most. I like to think I have been good for him too and that we will continue to grow closer and share more of ourselves with each other.

TEARS

I have never as happy as I have been the last couple months

I know this is true because I cry often

I cry because something I read or see now gets through

The shell I used to have around me

Please love, I swear they are happy tears

Or at least tears of understanding

They are not tears of regret or anger

They maybe are tears of longing

Longing to hold your hand and tell you I love you

Right to your face

They might be tears of fear of losing you

Maybe tears of pleasure when I think about you

Yeah, they are definitely tears of pleasure

Once the orgasm is over and I’m coming down

As the tears flow down my face

It is your voice that soothes me

It is your voice that calms the flame you just helped ignite

I breath in deep and I breath out strong

I feel safe after I’m sated

And then the tears start

Sometimes just a trickle out of the corner

Or other times full on gushing, blubbering, ugly crying

But never tears of anger or regret

No my love only tears of peace

 

11-23-2025

 

The Darkness

I can still feel you on my skin hours after you’ve gone

Your scent lingers and envelopes me

I can feel your cock pounding into my cunt

And your fingers in my ass

The memory of you never fades fast

It’s a slow fade to black

The darkness overtakes me

And I have to claw my way to the light

Then suddenly an arm reaches into the dark

It glows faintly, or so faintly

I reach for it and miss and reach again

And our fingers intertwine

You pull be back, back to the light

Back where your scent still lingers

Back where I can feel you again

Back to where I belong

 

10-4-2025

Storm Climax  10-23-1991

Rain falls

My pulse rises

Pitter pat

Pitter pat

Lightning flashes

Thunder crashes

My body jumps

Minute shock

Minute shock

Tornado coming

Blowing wind

Blowing hard

Flood warning

Over the dam

Rush of wet

Rush of wet

Calm returns

The drizzle drips

Effort spent

Effort spent

-----------------------------------------------------

Friend Lover  10-8-1979

I need a friend

To hell with just lovers

Lovers come and go

They say all the right words

Wine you and dine you

And bed you down

Then put on their pants and go home

 

I love you

Please don’t let that get in the way of our friendship

I need you to be my friend

If you also happen to be my lover, fine

But first be my friend

Don’t be afraid of my love

I love many people

But few are true friends

I want you to be my lover, friend

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A couple of weeks ago I was looking for my HS yearbook in my storage locker and I came across a folder of poems I had written iwhen I was younger. I am going to post some so if you read my blog in the next few weeks please note the date attached to the poem and be forgiving. These were written by a young girl with a lot of hormones. Thanks

 

The First Time

 

It was beautiful, I think

It was easier that I expected

For the first time

His body was warm and heavy on mine

And I felt safe

But something was missing

Maybe a connection

We hardly knew each other

Softly and slowly he spoke to me

With words to supposedly turn me on

But they didn’t

They only made me uncomfortable

His hands slid down my back

The weight of his body disappeared

And at first I was confused

It was over

It all had happened in what seemed like only minutes

I was sure there was more to it

But there wasn’t

I think it was my fault

I expected too much

Then he got up to leave and didn’t say a word

He just left me there alone

In his bed

To tell the truth it wasn’t all that good

But it was the first time

And the rest have got to be better

5-14-1975

BDM

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Game

 

He hits with the strength of a bull, so full of passion

He always wants to be on top

Commanding everything, running the show

On his face is an expression of mixed agony & ecstasy

As he knows he’s gonna score

The game comes to it’s climax as he hits home and sinks back

Feeling spent and exhausted

He awaits his next time up

Knowing that again he’ll make it home with one mighty blow

And with that thought a smile of satisfaction crosses his face

6-9-1975

RO

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I Try, But I Can’t

 

I try, but I can’t

I love you too much

But I don’t want you to know

So I try to keep it to myself

Once you find out I love you

You’ll hurt me, take advantage of me

And not care at all

You won’t love me back

So I try to hide my love

 

Whenever I see you

When I look at your face

My eyes travel down your body

Heat rises

And I want you

 

I’ve got to tell you

But I don’t want to blow this one

What if you turn away

And never see me again

Maybe you’ll be different

I hope so

I don’t need to get hurt again

But I want to tell you

I love you

Oh, you knew

4-28-77

VWD