Marriages used to be arranged. Parents negotiated and arranged marriage to consolidate power, or move up in the social strata.
Couples learned to work together, respect and honor each other, eventually learning to love. Those marriages were strong and nearly indestructible, lasting lifetimes!
In the 20th century, arranged marriages became less and less common.
Couples choose their mates by "being in love."
Limerence is feelings of infatuation and love. It usually lasts usually 18-36 months
Modern marriages continue to be based on love, as evidenced by divorce rates skyrocketing after 3 yrs.
Maybe these marriages are chosen by experiencing limerence and not LOVE.
Any time people engage with each other, they form some kind of relationship. All relationships must be built. Trust is the base of the relationship! Without trust, the foundation is flawed!
Complete implicit trust with total honesty and truth, build an indestructible base for the relationship! Adding in open, loving communication, free of blame or accusations, makes it possible to build and perfect a lifelong partnership!
Any couple must be able to say anything to each other. They must discuss things openly, honestly and most importantly, free of accusation or blame! There can be no secrets! Nothing mentioned should shock or offend. Daily exercise of open, honest loving communication is required to continue to nourish and build a life together.
Never “stuff” feelings or opinions! It is easy to decide something is trivial and not worth mentioning. Say for instance, the cap was off the tooth paste again. Not wanting to engage in a discussion or maybe even argument, you stuff that frustration and possible anger. This is a huge mistake!! Those stuffed frustrations, feelings and emotions sit inside and subconsciously stew and cook!!
Over a period of years, all these stuffed items have stewed and cooked and have become a poison! A poison that slowly but surely, begins to kill that relationship!!
Partners must be able to discuss anything and say anything at any time! There can be no secrets in a life long, romantic relationship! The partners must learn how to discuss things, communicate clearly and effectively without judgement, placing blame or accusations!!