A Peek Inside

I hadn't planned on opening my bag of shit and dumping it out for all to see.  But, I sense a growing wave of distain for me developing.  It's not unusual. I say what I think or feel, with very little filter.  Folks usually like or hate me.  I think many are not accustomed to or comfortable with my frankness and blunt honesty!

When I started out in BDSM, in 1978, I was 19 and I found a Domme, who insisted on training me as a slave, "so I would know what I would put my subs through!" It seemed reasonable, but that woman could make you bleed, with a crop, anywhere she desired. She was a sadist, masquerading as a Domme. I suffered through her training. I was turned out to be used by men, and publicly humiliated at parties.

There were no contracts then, safe words were never even mentioned. Merely being associated with BDSM could lose your job.  I’m straight yet, I was forced to suck cocks, take anal cream pies, and be passed around the room being used or abused in whatever way the guests wished!   I was being trained and "needed to learn."  These things were coerced. No one heeded my pleas to stop. When I absolutely refused to cooperate, I was simply tied and immobilized, and the guests carried on with their abuse.  This was a pattern, not an isolated event. 

I wanted to be trained.  I was convinced that this was all just part of becoming a "Trained Dom!"

The ignorance of youth, frenzy of the thrill and potential reward drove me to endure and succeed!  I knew that I would do thing differently, I just had to get through the training. 

There was no internet back then. When you fall into a small isolated social group, hiding in plain site, they are the only information or educational resource available.  I couldn't go to the library and check out books on BDSM!  There were none available!!! 

Now, I'm sure that I'm not alone, when it comes to this kind of treatment, especially in the 1970's! That being said, my style is very different, and consent, safety, and willing participation are key to my scenes with all subs.

Seeing naive young women, diving into this lifestyle headfirst, with no Idea of what role they wish to fill, or what that role actually entails, I became concerned.

I am the father of 2 fully grown daughters, my protective sense for these young ladies kicked in. I offered to be an advisor, to bring questions to. I provided a link to submissivesguide.com, and recommended they educate themselves, learn a bit and begin training online. I've offered to be a sounding board that they can bitch and complain to.

I believe that not encouraging naive young women to enter slowly with knowledge and eyes open, is abuse.  I have constantly strove to ensure true informed and educated consent.  The participants layout or describe the scene.  Toys, equipment to use and limits are agreed to ahead of the actual day of the scene.  Safe words, safety equipment, potential problems and areas of concern are clearly laid out in the scene plan, which has been agreed on by all involved.

I tend to go overboard to ensure that there are no issues, problems or questions prior to initiating a scene.

Obviously, in a regular or 24/7 situation the formal record of scenes is forgone, but at all times consent and active, eager agreement is a must. That kind of relationship is hard to build .  It is to be cherished and treasured .

A sub forced to endure an oppressive Master, will never thrive or grow.

This list is a compilation of thoughts that were recorded in a text file over months.  It is clearly one sided and very harsh  and strict.  It was done envisioning initial training of a new, unexperienced slave. I had intentionally made it overly strict, harsh and one-sided in an effort to have a young woman rethink her "I'll do whatever you say," attitude. It fails to adequately indicate what my responsibilities and actions will be.  This was envisioned for a 24/7 TPE.  I would provide all income, resources and materials.

I will revise this list over time and try to remove the bad first impression I've made.  I appreciate the honest and somewhat cutting responses and criticisms.  The points made are very valid and cogent!!!  I think the frank peer discussion and criticism is good and gave me a different perspective from what I was seeing.

Thank you

You will learn protocol, comportment, and presence!  I will work with you so you can become efficient, elegant and an example to others.

The protocols we will use are High or formal protocol, home or relaxed protocol, and vanilla protocol! 

Immediately, go to submissiveguide.com, create an account and begin learning there.  It is a good unbiased initial resource!   We will address specific topics there and discuss them together as part of our daily training.

You will be required to learn the classic slave positions and others I desire as well as non verbal cues we will agree on! I want us to be able to communicate discretely, should the need arise where you wish my intervention!!

Whenever looking at me, unless you are speaking to me, your eye will be fixed on my belt area! When speaking to me i expect direct eye contact.

Your thighs will never be pressed together in my presence!  When standing I expect your feet far enough apart to allow me to able to put my hand between your legs and cup your pussy! Your body is mine to enjoy, play with and stimulate!  I will have unfettered access to your ass and pussy! 

Lying or deceit is grounds for punishment and immediate dismissal! I despise obfuscation!! Be clear in expressing your needs, wants or desires.

19:00-21:00 daily is a relaxed period for you! We will be working together on training, relationship building and our daily, 10X3 Sharing Journal exercise. 

During a daily relaxed period, you may request needed or desired items! You may not have anything without my permission! 

We will be writing daily! You will be given a notebook! You may record feelings, questions, rules and tasks assigned, in addition to a separate book for our daily, 10X3 Sharing Journaling period.  We will mutually decide on a topic.  Then spend 10 Min writing about that topic, essentially a letter to the partner.   Then we will read the others journal , reflect on it for about 10 min and finally discuss openly and lovingly how the partners entry made us feel.  Realize how important the other is and avoid ever taking them for granted.

We will negotiate a contract! Once agreed on, you will hand write it and present it for my signature and approval! 

Sir, Master and Daddy are terms to be used exclusively! 

Your purpose is to serve me, anticipate my needs and provide sexual release!  Memorize that. You will be asked! 

You are mine!  My property! To do with as I see fit! 

You will be my woman!  A perfect lady in public and an absolute wanton insatiable whore in bed! 

Living with me and serving me in my house is a privilege!  Remember that! 

I value your opinion and want to be apprised of your needs or desires.  You may ask a question at any time, but must ask as below!!! 

If you have a question, the terminology is as follows:

Excuse me Sir/Master.  This imperfect sub/slave did not understand your task/command!  Could you please help me to understand so I may comply! 

When we sit down to eat, you will not begin, until after I offer you the first bite and sip! This will symbolize my promise in providing everything for you as well as my desire to nourish and help you thrive in all aspects of your life.

We will go out and I will get you a half bust corset!  That will be your initial daily attire here! 

As you earn privileges, I will have your daily wear be half bust  corset or bustier, garter belt, stockings and panties! 

Initially, you will have a blue dog collar!  That is a temporary collar worn only during your suitability evaluation! 

Once formally accepted you will be given a new collar!  It or a designated substitute will be worn always!  You may never remove my collar!  I will provide it and I’ll remove it, when needed! 

You will be given a wrist cuff, I will wear it’s paired mate on my right wrist, yours will always be on your left wrist! 

Removal of the cuff or collar and returning it to me is how you will initiate termination of service from your choice.

When it is time to retire, you will get your leather cuffs and collar and request that I put them on, unless I say otherwise! 

We will establish a daily routine as well as a set of rituals to perform daily!    We will establish a morning remembrance of our commitment to each other and acknowledgement of how important you are to me.  You will be meditating as part of your training.   We will spend 20 minutes each morning together in meditation.

Each morning you will receive 10 spanks on your bare bottom, to remind you that life outside home is hard and that I am your Master!! 

I will challenge you with difficult tasks!  Be assured there is a reason for them!  They may be difficult, embarrassing or humiliating!  Immediate unquestioning obedience is required! 

You must immediately and unquestioningly obey when commanded!! 

No matter how humiliating, embarrassing or exposing it may be! I’ll expect immediate and complete, unquestioning obedience!  Anything less is disobedience! 

Play time is separate from your training regimen, but still requires unquestioning obedience! 

You will shower with and wash me each evening!  That is the only time you may have hot water to bathe.

When showering alone, you will use tepid water and a full 2 minute rinse in cold water!  Again to remind you of how good life is when serving me! 

Each night and prior to play, you will prep your ass!   Prep meticulously! 
Anal prep is important!  There are several enema bottles in the bathroom and a new enema kit!  Use them as needed!

You will be allowed time each morning for bowel movements, urination and maintaining the toilet and shower area.  At any other time you must have my permission to use the facilities! 

Discipline will be used to train or reinforce a specific actions or behavior! 

You will keep a mental tally of deficiencies and infractions!  I will track them on my phone! The tally on my phone is the correct numbers, unless you are able to point out the extraordinarily rare occasion where there has been an error. If at any time your tally is incorrect and lower than the true count, additional actions will be taken! 

You will, as part of your training, be expected to self report infractions or deficiencies to me in the evening or if asked! 

Punishment is different from discipline. It is a consequence of an infraction or deficiency and will only be administered when I am not upset!  Punishment is exempt from the safe word cessation!

Punishments may vary greatly!  Losing privileges, corporal, written or stress positions will all be used!  There is no safe-word during punishment! When strokes are being used as a punishment, you will count out loud the number after each stroke! 

Should the need arise, you will be shackled or chained as required to punish or correct a deficiency! 

Punishments may include sleeping restrained!  Sleeping on the floor, sleeping in the basement!  The most severe is living chained in the basement with a bucket as your latrine! 

Pleading Or arguing a punishment will result in immediate doubling of the punishment, and possible additional elements!

Your orgasms belong to me.  They are my gift to you!  I want you satiated after play and hungry for more!

You may only cum after being given permission! Do not cum without my permission! 

After play or sex you’ll be expected to recall the number of orgasms! 

You may only masturbate when permitted or instructed! 

If menstruating, you will learn to use period cups!  I’ll provide this for you! 

I am sterilized! I had a vasectomy at age 26! I will not need a condom!  Anyone else you may be involved with, must use a condom! 

We will work together on cleaning up my mess, then it becomes your responsibility to maintain a clean house! You will live here as my mate. We will discuss and agree on how domestic chores are to be divided.  I am always ready and willing to help you.  Remember how to ask properly, depending on the protocol in place.

I’m anticipating hosting guests!  Whenever guests are present, you will be in high protocol, unless told otherwise! 

You may accompany me in public!  You will wear a skirt or dress, tasteful makeup all provided by me. You will keep me apprised of these and other personal needs.

Never question me!  Especially in public! 

We will decide on a term for you to use when referring  to me in public.  It will replace Sir/Master in vanilla situations! 

Remember, your actions and behavior reflect on me!  Disappoint or dishonor me and you may be punished immediately and publicly! 

If you are not well, report it to me immediately! It is my responsibility to care for and nurture you.  When needed I will provide you with appropriate medical care and access.

During sex, Your primary mission is to accept my load in your mouth, unless I say otherwise!  If we’re fucking and I say “I’m gonna cum!” You will disengage and get to my dick!  Then you will stroke me off into your mouth!  I expect to be thanked for the gift of my precious fluid! 

If you allow my ejaculate to miss your mouth, you will consume it as soon as practical! You will use your mouth and tongue to retrieve my fluid! 

There will be no additional piercings or tattoos without my permission! 

Once fully trained and registered, I will take you and have your registration number tattooed on you! 

I want a full natural bush!  You will cease any manicuring shaving or trimming, unless instructed! 

We may watch porn together! If I see something I say I want to do, you will remind me of it the next time we play or the next day, whichever is first! 

I want to learn how to be less self conscious, so whenever I need to pee, you will accompany me and direct the stream! 

At official functions, you will not speak with any other master or owner, without my permission! If addressed by them you reply, with head down, eyes on their belt area!

“ Sir/Ma’am this lowly sub/ slave is property of Master B!  I am forbidden from speaking with anyone without his permission!  Should I go and get him to resolve this awkward moment?”

Then depending on what they do, proceed accordingly!

You will partake in competitions of slave/sub evaluation!  They will assess posture, comportment , positioning, adherence to protocol, appearance, efficiency, conservation of motion and thoroughness!

I expect you to be at your best!  You will be representing me!  I know you will be the best! 

New rules will be added and goals raised all in an effort to train you to be the best! 

Furniture is a privilege! Routinely your place is kneeling or sitting by my feet!  I may watch TV.  If you have not been permitted, you may use that time to do lines or transcribe documents! Should you not have that or anything else to do then you will play with my balls, suck my dick, or masturbate if you ask! 

Marriages used to be arranged.  Parents negotiated and arranged marriage to consolidate power, or move up in the social strata.

Couples learned to work together, respect and honor each other, eventually learning to love.  Those marriages were strong and nearly indestructible, lasting lifetimes!

In the 20th century, arranged marriages became less and less common.

Couples choose their mates by "being in love." 

Limerence is feelings of infatuation and love. It usually lasts usually 18-36 months 

Modern marriages continue to be based on love, as evidenced by divorce rates skyrocketing after 3 yrs.

Maybe these marriages are chosen by experiencing limerence and not LOVE.

Any time people engage with each other, they form some kind of relationship.  All relationships must be built. Trust is the base of the relationship! Without trust, the foundation is flawed!

Complete implicit trust with total honesty and truth, build an indestructible base for the relationship! Adding in open, loving communication, free of blame or accusations, makes it possible to build and perfect a lifelong partnership!

Any couple must be able to say anything to each other. They must discuss things openly, honestly and most importantly, free of accusation or blame!  There can be no secrets! Nothing mentioned should shock or offend. Daily exercise of open, honest loving communication is required to continue to nourish and build a life together.

Never “stuff” feelings or opinions!  It is easy to decide something is trivial and not worth mentioning.  Say for instance, the cap was off the tooth paste again. Not wanting to engage in a discussion or maybe even argument, you stuff that frustration and possible anger.  This is a huge mistake!!  Those stuffed frustrations, feelings and emotions sit inside and subconsciously stew and cook!!

Over a period of years, all these stuffed items have stewed and cooked and have become a poison!  A poison that slowly but surely, begins to kill that relationship!!

Partners must be able to discuss anything and say anything at any time!  There can be no secrets in a life long, romantic relationship!  The partners must learn how to discuss things, communicate clearly and effectively without judgement, placing blame or accusations!!