My Thoughts

What does this say about me if I tell you that I want to be the monster

the one that watches you crumble

the one that tests your walls until it finds the crack

the one that wants to allow  you to know you're done before

You know that saying that damaged people gravitate to damaged people

I cannot recall when I became that monster

So many things have occurred

The darkness just latched on

It's twisted

turned

dug in so deep

You couldn't find the initial route to pull if you want it

Now I sit back and watch the crumbling

I recognize the fear

I realize where exactly to push

I recognize you are moving forward

 To step one step back

I should feel insulted.

You come to me after another monster has tainted you.....

(There is more to this, but it will be in my BDSM poetry book coming out in 2026)

This is dead. Everyone knows everyone and no one seems to want to be with each other. I hate this, but Father said I must pick someone soon; the kingdom is depending on me.

Damn, why does the kingdom always have to depend on the mistress? Whatever? I hate being part of the Dark Council. Let's go on with the ball. There were the Sims out there in the corner whispering about everybody's outfit. There were the cutthroats talking about what they would love to do once they get others in the dark; there were the angels, more like Dark Angels, because once they get you in the dungeon, nothing light ever comes from there.

 Then there was my group, the ones who have been here, done that, and are a bit jaded. I look to the right to see that they are sitting there looking out into the crowds and realizing no one has approached the ball in ages, no one at all outside of the ball.

Five young gentlemen decided they wanted to party, and they were told that this was the place to be, not realizing what they would walk into the minute the door opened. “Hello, gentlemen, are you sure you know where you are?”

“ Ah, come on. This is a party. All the girls are here, all the guys are here. We're here to just have some fun. It's a party.”

  The doorman looked at them, smiling, realizing that they didn't know what kind of party this actually was, but it was fresh blood, and everyone was new. Walking inside, the five gentlemen were gawking at all the women, scantily clad in all the leather and collars, and some of them were just so elegant. And then there were those who weren't dressed at all.

Out of the five, two were looking at the guys, because that's where they swung, and they were really pleased at what they were looking at.

 Then there was that one who seemed to be looking at everything as if it were in a candy store, and that was the particular one that my eye caught. Hmm. Wonder why he can't settle for this one or that one. Stacy just walked past him, and she was hardly wearing anything, and you could see the drool coming out of his mouth. But then Ethan, her twin, did the same thing, and he had the same reaction. Hmm?

Everyone in their respective groups seems to have realized that they were five, and they were picking them off one by one. Before they went to the one that seemed undecided. I signaled to my group to stop whoever was heading towards that one and bring him to me. Everyone enjoyed the new prospects, and this one was going to be mine; he went without even putting up a fuss. With a big smile and given a drink, he came right to me, not realizing that I was sitting alone and watching the whole site.

“Hello,”

“ Hi. This is such a cool place. I heard that there were so many people here, wonderful outgoing people.”

“That's what you've heard.’

“Well, you can't believe everything you hear, right? They were saying that there's some really dark shit that happens out in this place, but it doesn't look like it. It looks like people who like to be a little frisky and available.”

 “Frisky and available. I like to hear that. Are you frisky and available?”

“ Well, I'll just say I'm up for anything. I have little experience. But why not? Tonight, is just for fun.”

“What's so special about tonight that you and your friends decided to wander into this place?”

“ You see the guy over there. That's Jim. It's his birthday, and we wanted to do something different. So we all heard about this place and wanted to, ah…,”

“ Wanted to pop your cherry.”

 He started laughing.” I have Miss?? We all have popped our Cherry.”

 “First of all, do not call me Miss. And secondly, have a seat. You have wandered into some place where you might not have realized what we do.”

“ I told you I know darker stuff, but that stuff is on TV. People really don't do these things.”

“ People don't do these things?” My mind was turning, I love the naïve ideas that's rolling through his head. People don't do these things, yes we do. This is delicious.

“What's your name?”

‘ Michael”

“ Michael, you can call me Diana”

“Michael, you say you have experience. You've been with quite a few women or men?”

“Is that part of the requirement of coming into this place?”

“ Not really, but I like to know what I'm dealing with.”

“Oh, so it's gonna be me you tonight?”

“Do you have any objections?”

“Um, no, you are pretty hot.”

“Thank you. There are a few things, a few rules we have to go over.”

 “ I heard about these things, too. This is so cool.”

“First off, enough with the it's so cool. And if you're going to be with me tonight, you're going to have to retain some of that energy until we're alone.”

“So what am I supposed to call you?”

“ You are going to call me Diana for now and then later on, you're going to call me
all sorts of names because I'll allow it.”

“Why would I call you all sorts of names?”

“ That's another thing you're going to stop right now, too many questions. Since this is the first time you're here, I'll be easy on you. What have you tried that's out of the norm or in the vanilla city?

“Um, I don't know, just usual stuff, you know, like lotions and stuff that heats up.”

“ So nothing. You have tried nothing.”

“ I've had sex.”

“ You keep bringing this up. Let's go back into the back already.”

“ We're going to the back.”

“ Yes, we are going to the back. And no, we are not fucking in the back. We are just going to talk. There are a lot of people here, and a lot of distractions."  As I said that, the twins walked by again, and I could swear he needed a bib.

I'm on my way home
So what does that mean
Are you serious I'm on my way home
Yeah what does that mean
You agreed to be my sub
That's what I agreed to in the club
I thought I was supposed to Dom you tonight
Let's not turn this into a fight
 
Now listen don't be a brat
Me be a brat
You agree to be my sub At the very least a switch
Alright alright let's get on with this
 
Take all your clothes off
Go in the middle of the bed
Put the blindfolds on
Hands behind your head
 
]Oh wait a minute this sounds like my execution
Are you trying to kill me tonight
The more you're being combative
That may be your plight
 
I'll get on the bed
Hands behind my back
I'll kneel for you
There's something this scene lacks
 
It lacks you with no clothes on
There's something I must wear
Can we just get this on dawn
Well did you get it dear
 
At the side of the bed
There is a box
It was supposed to be a surprise but instead
You're making me cross
 
In five more minutes
You will hear my car turn in the driveway
In five more minutes
You better present yourself the way I say
No more debates
No more words
You sealed your fate
You understood
 
Yes
Yes what?
Yes…. Master

(I was talking to a friend and said I would post this since I think it is fun)

The warm breeze rustles the palm leaves on the top of the tree you are bound to.  You feel safe because the tree lends you its strength. Until I look into your eyes, the flames that are flickering in the reddish brown depths cause you to hold your breath. It holds promises unspoken.

I whisper, “I wonder if the sun can match my desire and make you burn.”

Your eyes widen and your lips part.

Do you thirst for me?

An invisible line draws me to you.

Creating a need to be near you.

My lips want to feel your skin,

1 million nerves firing.

From the barest of touches,

Sending electric impulses,

Throughout your form.

Close your eyes and just feel.

A whispered kiss,

Under the ear.

On a pulse.

“Don’t touch me”

Relax.

As my lips stroll,

You are trying to control,

Your breaths.

As the path I follow,

Is met with a deep hollow.

A warm exhale enters the hole.

A Loud swallow,

 as you barely hold control.

Continuing my journey.

I have a choice to make.

Should I build this pleasure,

Into an ache, that matches.

The pounding of a bass drum?

Or go on my way,

Till I make it to the point,

Where you are nothing more than,

A vibrating body of need.

‘Please’ you indicate,

With a rise and a roll,

From hips directing me

where to go.

Forward it is.

My lips you felt.

Moistened by the tongue.

And what you delt.

(I will end it  here since this is going more into oral than stimulation of lips on skin)

It has taken me over a month to put our ceremony together. I come home each night, and I can see how Emmanuel is changing before my eyes. Instead of me prodding and pushing to find out how he was today, he volunteers the information.

He went to visit his family for a week in upstate New York. During that time, I didn't contact him on purpose. I didn't assign him to call me or contact me as well. There's one thing about having someone open up to you and want to be with you, and this is another thing about someone wanting to use you as a crutch.

When he was away for the week, the package came. It was perfectly timed as well. A long, sleek box made of velvet. Once you open what was inside, you would catch your breath. Emmanuel did not like anything around his neck. But he wanted to be mine, and he wanted everyone to know.

What was inside was a bracelet. Not any bracelet that you can get in a department store. This bracelet was created just for him. I had to call in a few favors to have this done in a rush. Black rings of tungsten I secured with thick black leather. On the leather on the side where no one can see, there are several dates that are significant in our relationship.

The date we met, the date he agreed to be mine, the day he broke under my care, the date that he felt comfortable enough and secure enough that he walked around without any clothes on, and finally, the last date. The date of his collaring.

There is a smaller box right next to the long one, and that is the one that he will place on my index finger. Small tungsten loops, one rectangular leather link, with one black diamond that matches the diamond on the date of his collaring.

Normally, a collaring is intimate and between two people. Emmanuel said he wanted others to know. On a Friday night, I was in my most dominating outfit, black with a red corset and high heels. He wore a black shirt that was sheer and leather pants. He made me laugh when he came out with cowboy boots because of the running joke we had with each other

He felt that he was an urban cowboy, and I was the mistress who always put him in his place. We walked through the doors of the cage, and our closest friends greeted us. I already spoke with the management, and it was close to the time when we would be on center stage. I looked at Emmanuel and said, “We can always turn back and do this in private.”

“No more hiding, and I want you to do a scene with me in front of everyone.” He said, looking me straight in the eyes.

I was hoping he was not rushing into all these things. There's one thing about walking nude in front of me and breaking a phobia, and there's a whole other thing about doing a scene in front of all of our friends. I was looking in his eyes, I knew he was resigned to do this, and I was so honored to have found him.

As the spotlight hit the stage, we both walked up and everyone went silent. I started to speak of words of overwhelming gratefulness for finding a sub that understands my wants and needs. The speech went a little longer than expected, and at the end, everybody clapped and whooped and hollered. Turning to Emmanuel, I pulled out the long rectangular box and handed it to him so he could open it, and when he saw the bracelet, you could tell that his heart was beating a mile a minute, and the smile that came across his face was one of pure joy.

Taking out the bracelet, I told him to hold out his left arm and I clasped it on his wrist. In my second pocket, I took out the ring box and gave it to him for him to see what was in it. This is unusual. A master collars a submissive. But to show that I am completely genuine to this relationship, I will allow him to place this ring that matches his bracelet on my finger

Once he took the ring out with shaky fingers, he placed it on my pointer finger, and I held his hands in mine and said out loud that everybody could hear. “You all have witnessed this claiming, and I dare you to ever come and approach what is mine.”

Once that statement was said, everyone stood and applauded and went to the stage, giving us hugs and patting us on the back. The night ended with me putting him through a scene in front of all our friends, and that was the best day of our lives.

As I walked through the door, I was wrapped in the scent of a meal that I hadn't had since childhood.

What game is he playing?

I lay my bag down on the hallway table and walk towards the kitchen. No one was there.

I walked into the dining room to see Emmanuel sitting at the table with his shirt off and his hands clasped before him.

What is this?”

“Are you not pleased, mistress?”

I walked towards the table and looked at how it was set. There is only one plate, one set of everything, and before Emmanuel, although there was his hand clasp.

“Again, what is this?”

I know you had a hard day, and I remember that you haven't had this meal in a long time. Granted it took me all day to prepare this meal for you.

Emmanuel loves to serve me, but Emmanuel likes to play as well. We've been together for over a year, and he's mastered ways to push my buttons. He is sweet, and there are days he is so tart.

I sat at the table waiting to be served, and as he rose from his chair, a smile came across my face. You see, over a year into this dynamic, I have been trying to convince him that when we're inside, I would like him to be completely nude.

Men are normally not shy about their bodies and would walk around nude all day, every day. Emmanuel's not like everybody. You see, Emmanuel was in an accident, and he has scars that some would shy away from. Instead of it repelling me, it drew me closer.

“May I ask why, today of all days, you decided to be completely bare for me?”

He stopped walking towards the kitchen and turned towards me and said,” You never made me feel as if my scars were all I was. You never pitied me, and you never made me feel less than. After each of our sessions, I end up in subspace, and you took care of me.

You have taken care of me better than even my own family. And today it just clicked that's such a simple request, it's something I can give.”

That statement alone had me catch my breath because I knew he had stepped over his own boundary and let the wall down.

 For the next hour, I sat and ate as we talked about our day. When the meal was done, Emmanuel poured my favorite glass of wine and led me to the living room.

“Emmanuel, I don't think I can put you through your paces tonight because it was such a strenuous day.”

“Mistress, if you have not realized that tonight is not all about me, then what I've been doing is not correct. “

He took a deep breath and knelt at my knees.

“I am ready to be completely yours.”

I looked into his eyes and knew that he was not hiding anymore. This night will be a night of relaxation.

The night of his collaring will be something he will remember forever.

Mistress, stop pouring the pleasant scented liquid down my body. I could feel when she stepped away from me. It was instinct that I moved toward that direction.

The room was eerily silent apart from my breathing.

“WAP”

Every nerve in my body was on alert. Was I supposed to get up and remove the mask to see what was happening, or was I supposed to stay

“WAP”

The sound was coming closer and louder. Was it the crop? Or was it the rod? Then silence once more.

This is pushing me. I need sound, I need it to be dark. I need….

I jump when I feel something lightly dusting my skin. I was trembling. What does she see in me? What does she think?

Once more, silence. That was when  I completely broke. Out of nowhere, I felt….

“Oh, mistress, mistress, please. I cannot continue. I want to please you.”

“Take off the blind fold and look at me.”

I didn’t want to. She will see what my eyes will reveal.

“Do as I say”

With uncertainty, I took off the blind to see a fork.

“What did you think this was?”

I felt ashamed to tell her.

“You wanted to know how it felt to be deprived of sound and to feel completely exposed to me. Yet you still feel as though I would hurt you. Do you not trust me?”

Why couldn’t I speak?

“You trust me to get you where you need to be as long as you have a semblance of control. I removed your control.”

“I am sorry, Mistress.”

“So am I. Please rise, get dressed, and leave.”

It's over. I have failed..

“Wait for my call.” She said as she left the room.

There it was. She proved a point that I had vehemently denied. I did not trust my mistress not to hurt me.

I hadn't heard from her for two weeks. At this time, I did some internal searching, and realization dawned.

(I will let you think of what he realized. I hope you enjoyed the bright room. Trust is the foundation to all of this.)

Mistress F

Looking around the room. I realized that this is not what I would think of when someone says, "Come to my dungeon."

 I've been spoiled by reading all those books. This room looks so innocent. A little too pure. The sheets should be darker, but they're stark white, and the room itself looks so plain. I was hoping that things would look a little bit more… dark.

 I walk over to the bed, where there's a note and a blindfold next to it. I opened up the note and it said, “Take off your clothes, but leave on your boxers. Then  go to the foot of the bed with the blindfold, kneel, and place the blindfold over your eyes.”

 This is new. I don't mind being blindfolded, but usually I'm already on the bed, chained up. I did as my mistress requested.

 Once everything was off and I was kneeling at the foot of the bed, I looked at the white blindfold, and I don't know why it had my heart racing.

 The blindfold should be black. Everything should be dark. My mouth suddenly went dry, and my hands trembled as I tied the white blindfold on.

 I don't know how long I've been kneeling here before I heard the footsteps coming close to me. The door never opened. She was already in the room watching me, wanting to see how I reacted.

 We already went over the safe words the night before. We discussed that she may or may not say anything to me.

 My mind was racing through a hundred scenarios. I tried to control my breathing, but it was very difficult not knowing what was in store for me.

 That's when I felt it. It was cool to my heated skin, and it's hooked onto the rim of my boxers. I was so hard that I knew I was embarrassing myself. I want to cover up so badly.

 I had to fight this urge because we discussed this as well. Slowly, my boxes were pulled down and pooled at my knees, and I was bare for my mistress.

 Then another sensation was introduced.  Something warm. Sliding down the center of my chest, down my stomach, down.. down.. until it started to drip off my cock.

 My mistress said nothing, but by the way she kept pouring whatever this liquid was, she was enjoying every bit of it.

 I was panting and I desired to say something. I desired to hear something other than my breathing. That's when I felt something flick the tip of my cock. 

I let out a little whimper voluntarily, and I felt the sting of her palm on my bottom.

I felt too exposed, because behind the blindfold, it was still bright. She can see everything. Every imperfection.. every reaction.  There was no shadow to cloak me.

To be continued....

Stop!

 Is it the command that has your pulse racing

 Is it the thought of what I will have you do that has your pulse racing

 Do not turn to me and take your clothes off

 I watch as you open and close your hands

 Are they sweaty from  excitement

 I can see the shirt starting to come off

 one by one, you unbutton

 Revealing a strong back

 I see that the marks I have created have faded away

 That will be rectified shortly

 My desire to watch you is more important

 Bend over when you take off your pants

 You pause

 There it is

 The thoughts

I am waiting.

I hear the deep breath let out

As you Obey my request

My palms ache to feel your flesh beneath them

Before you turn

Hold what is mine and stoke slowly

But do not dare drip on my floor

He wants to turn

He wants to see if I am hungry

I am always hungry

Tonight I want to watch

I want to see the purest satisfaction of cuming

When I allow it.

Mmmmm

Oh You Did not wait till I say  “Moan”

You tremble

You know what awaits you