My Thoughts

What does this say about me if I tell you that I want to be the monster

the one that watches you crumble

the one that tests your walls until it finds the crack

the one that wants to allow  you to know you're done before

You know that saying that damaged people gravitate to damaged people

I cannot recall when I became that monster

So many things have occurred

The darkness just latched on

It's twisted

turned

dug in so deep

You couldn't find the initial route to pull if you want it

Now I sit back and watch the crumbling

I recognize the fear

I realize where exactly to push

I recognize you are moving forward

 To step one step back

I should feel insulted.

You come to me after another monster has tainted you.....

(There is more to this, but it will be in my BDSM poetry book coming out in 2026)

The warm breeze rustles the palm leaves on the top of the tree you are bound to.  You feel safe because the tree lends you its strength. Until I look into your eyes, the flames that are flickering in the reddish brown depths cause you to hold your breath. It holds promises unspoken.

I whisper, “I wonder if the sun can match my desire and make you burn.”

Your eyes widen and your lips part.

Do you thirst for me?

It has taken me over a month to put our ceremony together. I come home each night, and I can see how Emmanuel is changing before my eyes. Instead of me prodding and pushing to find out how he was today, he volunteers the information.

He went to visit his family for a week in upstate New York. During that time, I didn't contact him on purpose. I didn't assign him to call me or contact me as well. There's one thing about having someone open up to you and want to be with you, and this is another thing about someone wanting to use you as a crutch.

When he was away for the week, the package came. It was perfectly timed as well. A long, sleek box made of velvet. Once you open what was inside, you would catch your breath. Emmanuel did not like anything around his neck. But he wanted to be mine, and he wanted everyone to know.

What was inside was a bracelet. Not any bracelet that you can get in a department store. This bracelet was created just for him. I had to call in a few favors to have this done in a rush. Black rings of tungsten I secured with thick black leather. On the leather on the side where no one can see, there are several dates that are significant in our relationship.

The date we met, the date he agreed to be mine, the day he broke under my care, the date that he felt comfortable enough and secure enough that he walked around without any clothes on, and finally, the last date. The date of his collaring.

There is a smaller box right next to the long one, and that is the one that he will place on my index finger. Small tungsten loops, one rectangular leather link, with one black diamond that matches the diamond on the date of his collaring.

Normally, a collaring is intimate and between two people. Emmanuel said he wanted others to know. On a Friday night, I was in my most dominating outfit, black with a red corset and high heels. He wore a black shirt that was sheer and leather pants. He made me laugh when he came out with cowboy boots because of the running joke we had with each other

He felt that he was an urban cowboy, and I was the mistress who always put him in his place. We walked through the doors of the cage, and our closest friends greeted us. I already spoke with the management, and it was close to the time when we would be on center stage. I looked at Emmanuel and said, “We can always turn back and do this in private.”

“No more hiding, and I want you to do a scene with me in front of everyone.” He said, looking me straight in the eyes.

I was hoping he was not rushing into all these things. There's one thing about walking nude in front of me and breaking a phobia, and there's a whole other thing about doing a scene in front of all of our friends. I was looking in his eyes, I knew he was resigned to do this, and I was so honored to have found him.

As the spotlight hit the stage, we both walked up and everyone went silent. I started to speak of words of overwhelming gratefulness for finding a sub that understands my wants and needs. The speech went a little longer than expected, and at the end, everybody clapped and whooped and hollered. Turning to Emmanuel, I pulled out the long rectangular box and handed it to him so he could open it, and when he saw the bracelet, you could tell that his heart was beating a mile a minute, and the smile that came across his face was one of pure joy.

Taking out the bracelet, I told him to hold out his left arm and I clasped it on his wrist. In my second pocket, I took out the ring box and gave it to him for him to see what was in it. This is unusual. A master collars a submissive. But to show that I am completely genuine to this relationship, I will allow him to place this ring that matches his bracelet on my finger

Once he took the ring out with shaky fingers, he placed it on my pointer finger, and I held his hands in mine and said out loud that everybody could hear. “You all have witnessed this claiming, and I dare you to ever come and approach what is mine.”

Once that statement was said, everyone stood and applauded and went to the stage, giving us hugs and patting us on the back. The night ended with me putting him through a scene in front of all our friends, and that was the best day of our lives.