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My Journey finding my dream daddy dom

Day 1: December 14, 2025 . Time: 1:34am
I spent the past hour trying to reach climax using the wand. It gets frustrating since it doesn't squirt nor has a fleshy texture to it. Sorry I am getting ahead of myself. You can call me Sakura Lee. I am a 33 year old woman that loves horror and cooking. I work in fashion though I don't really get the hype of it. I am certified as a event planner but never seem to find a workplace near me to put that in good use. During the day, I am viewed as a the buttt of the joke to family and nobody in my family hears me or listen to me. Behind closed doors, I long for the formality of human touch and the memory ed of the slight sting of having soy wax being slung on my body. Just seeking my ltr daddy om is so hard!
16 hours ago. Wednesday, February 25, 2026 at 1:45 AM

I seem to be desired yesterday. First my ex who has a severe mental illness wanted me back. A male friend i have lost touch with wants me as their modern day concubine. Another man I met will running errands wants a 24/7 house sub. Yet the one I really want has no interest in me. It is hard to find that long haired man of Asian descent. i keep seeing my late lover in my dreams wanting me, begging me to let go and release  control. I would love more than anything to give up control of my body, my soul, and my mind to a responsible respectful dom. But the ones i see are mainly fakes or they say they are doms but sound like they are trying to hard and might be a submissive deep down and not realize it. I want to act a CNC fantasy involving me being punished for acting like a bitch to them. I love to have a symbol of their love impermanently written on  my chest just to show off and right before they reach climax. They gently choke me while they fill me with their life seed. I crave it so much.