I TRIED TO TELL YOU! I really did!
I am socially awkward. Well, not really socially awkward as much as "flirt and seduction" awkward. Sexy awkward. In fact, I would likely rank up there and get an award MOST AWKWARD of the Sparkly Princesses in the category of Sexy talk, flirting and seduction...especially when it is someone that I have only just connected with. All of those things need connection for me. (Even then I am not very adept at it)
I tried to tell you....I really did.
Let me digress and go back in time a bit. In high school my Geometry teacher told me that I would never amount to much in my life because I couldn't see things in 3-dimensionally in my mind. *Definitely not life giving words to say to anyone, let alone a 14 year old girl!* To this day areas of space and spacial awareness are not my strong point. You know how there are people that you can give them dimensions of a particular object and they can just immediately see it in their mind? Yeah, that isn't me. 😄 Just not how my brain is wired i guess. This carries over into my own views of how i see my fluffy self and the space and place that i occupy around me. If I happen upon a sexy story or blog, I am often left with more confusion trying to figure out how certain things are even physically possible. In my own experience and through my own lens of understanding, with my own personal body, i just can't picture it.
So, that's nice and all, but what is the point? I was reminded last night of what my math teacher told me because in a very new connection and conversation with someone on this site, they told me to picture them doing "x, y, z...." So, my own brain kicked in and my thoughts came out with my own version of "Yeah, that doesn't really work around here". Sigh.🤦♀️
My response was me being vulnerable. My response was me being honest. My response showed my own insecurities. My response was mine....but, apparently it was not well received. Was it the best response? nope. Could i learn to be in a moment and respond differently, perhaps. Apparently it was a "Kick in the nuts" and actually brought about the end of communications with a "you are released to pursue your dreams".
Umm....ok, thanks? released to pursue my dreams, like go to sleep? it was nighttime you know. lol 🙊🤣😉
I kinda was left a bit stunned and shocked....not even an hour earlier i was told that they were very convinced I was going to become their sub, under contract, protocols, the whole 9 yards. An hour earlier i was told that they could bring out the confident side in me.
I still shake my head just thinking about it.
Look Gentlemen, Daddies, Masters, and the Domliest Doms that ever did Dom....if my vulnerabilities, honesty, and insecurities make you feel like i kicked you in your nuts and hurt your ego or something, THE PROBLEM DOESN'T LIE WITH ME. I don't care if you have 20 years experience in those ways. If i ever do find myself in a position to submit to someone, it will be because i TRUST them with my vulnerabilities. It will be because I can be honest with my feelings and thoughts. It will be because I know my insecurities are safe with that person. It will be with someone that takes time to get to know me, understands me, gets inside my head....which, p.s. takes time. lots of time. It takes time, connection, and honestly some hard work. :)
Oh, and again, just being on a "bondage site" in NO WAY demands that anyone give you a a title of any kind. In a dynamic yes, but until that point, nope.
Again..sometimes I REALLY wonder what I am doing around these parts.
Stay sparkly my friends. 💖 don't take it personally when people don't "get it". Even in all my own "stuff" i am still not broken...and neither are you!
