Sometimes reality comes at me like a fright train , loud, huge, unstoppable and on the same track I am on.
This sort of reality I never really want nor can forget. I try to leave it behind and sometimes I can smell the roses feel the fresh air washing over my body like a wave.
These moments of serenity can accumulate into a much stronger force that gives me the tools to turn and face my runaway reality head on and brace for impact knowing I will get knocked over but I'll be breathing still and I'll be on my feet quicker each time as muscle memory from the stored moments kick in.
The days of darkness can return but like the seasons brightness always comes and floods the shadows with light life giving light.
My reality forces me to think. Forces me to accept. Forces me to look forwards not pocket some of my past and carry it around with me. Each time I'm forced I get more resilient, more sure it's what I am to do, that this is all part of my earth script just rewritten to suit my new spirit, my new soul, but it's still me still me at the core, I haven't changed that much that I can leave centuries of connected souls aside. My spirit still walks through the forests the fields feeling the heat of the sun the grass beneath my feet. I haven't fought so many battles to give up now and resign myself to permanent night.
I will stand on the hill maybe less strength in my bones less fight in my heart but I will stand I will look upon my life and not be discouraged.