I have been fortunate enough to have time off at the holiday season. Amid the moments of Christmas chaos, there have been quiet times of contemplation. It’s been a crazy, devastating, exhilarating, tiring, miraculous, scary, horrible, wonderful year. So much has happened and while the bad parts really sucked, I learned from it all. I have had incredible highs and rock bottom lows.
This is a traditional time of reflection of the past and the planning of the future.
I am proud of how strong I am in the face of all of the medical issues my family has had to face this last year, from the terminal illness, to the new life and all work and stress that both entail. I am proud of myself for asking for help and accepting the help offered freely to me.
I challenged myself with taking better care of myself and began routines that helped me keep from burning out with the stress and overtime that was required to keep this household afloat. We can’t survive without me, so I need to be good to myself.
I am letting go the notion that I am not enough. I have proven to myself that no matter what, I can be enough. If others choose to not see that, they can exit my life and I will continue to be enough. I am enough for me and the people I choose to surround myself with.
I have begun a love affair with hiking. Being outside and being present in the moment. The solitude of it tires my body and quiets my mind. I plan on doing much more this new year.
I have had some wonderful people who have shown me care and compassion and sweetness. That will never be forgotten or taken for granted.
I don’t like the word resolution because nothing is ever so firm or set in stone. I prefer the word goal. It leaves the door open for trying again each time I fail.
