I don’t remember calling this
Meeting.
But here we are.
A table I never sat at,
Filled with faces I know too
Well.
Some I haven’t seen in years.
Some I tried to forget.
Some I swore I’d never become.
But tonight, no one is turned
Away.
We are all here.
Facing each other.
Ready to finally listen.
The child who dreamed without
Fear.
The teenager who ached to be
Understood.
The one who loved too hard.
The one who swore they’d never
Love again.
The one who made mistakes
The one who could have done
More.
The addict. The healer.
The fighter. The ghost.
The one who forgave.
And the one who didn’t make it.
They have all arrived.
The younger me swings their
Legs, wide-eyed.
“Is this what we became?” they ask.
“Did we make it?”
I want to say yes.
I want to say that we got everything
We ever wanted.
But I have learned not to lie
To myself.
“We are still becoming,”
I say.
And for some reason, that
Is answer enough.
The one who made mistakes looks
Down.“We messed up” they say.
“We should have known better.”
Across the table, the one who
Paid the price answers.
“We didn’t know until we knew.”
The silence between them is
Thick.
I hold them both in my gaze.
“Maybe we were meant to be
Both,” I say.
“The ones tried, and the
Ones who failed.”
Neither of them speak again.
The one who could have done
More watches from the corner.
“We held back,” they say.
“We played small when we could
Have been great.”
The one who was too afraid to
Leap lowers their head.
“I was scared”, they whisper.
“I know,” I say.
“But we are not done yet.”
Something between them softens.
The one who loved and lost
Grips the edges of the table.
“I gave everything,”they say.
“And it still wasn’t enough.”
The one who swore they’d never
Love again tightens their jaw.
“That’s why I built the walls.”
I look at both of them.
“We had to love, and we had to
Lose.”
“We had to break, and we had to
Rebuild.”
Neither answers.
But they are finally looking at
Each other.
The one who almost didn’t make
It is quiet.
“How did we survive?” they
Whisper.
“I was sure this was the end.”I reach across the table, take their hand.
“Because of you,” I say.
“Because you broke, but you
Never stopped breathing.”
They close their eyes,
Exhaling years of silence.
The one who died and never came
Back sits in the shadows.
They say nothing.
They are barely there.
“I miss you,” I whisper.
“We all do.”
They don’t speak.
They only nod.
Some losses are too deep for
Words.
The addict slouches in their
Chair,
Arms crossed, tapping their
Fingers.
“You hated me,” they say.
“You still do.”
I shake my head.
“I never hated you. I just
Didn’t understand.”
They scoff.
“I was trying to numb the
Pain.”
“I know,” I whisper.
“I see you now.”
Their hand stop shaking.
The one who lost everything
Stares at the table.
“We had to let go,” they say.
“It was killing us.”
The one who held on too long
Won’t meet their eyes.
“I wasn’t ready,” they whisper
“Neither was I,” I admit.
And for the first time,
They grieve together instead of
Alone.
The one who forgave speaks softly.
“You can stop punishing
Yourself now,” they say.
I hesitate.
“You did the best that you could,”
They continue.
“And when you knew better, you
Did better.”
Their voice is steady.
It does not ask for permission
To be believed.
I close my eyes.
and finally, I let it go.
The one who knew the streets
Leans back, arms crossed.
“You forget about me?” they
Ask.
I see them- sharp, fast, a survivor.
I remember the nights we barely
Slept.
The hunger, the hustle, the
Instincts that never left.
“I did what I had to,” they
Say.
“And I never said thank you,” I
Reply.
They nod once, jaw unclenching.
The future me sits at the head
Of the table, watching.
They are older. Wiser, Lighter.
They have seen it all.
“What do I need to know?” I
Ask.
They smile like they’ve seen
The ending.
“Stop fighting the becoming,”
They say.
“Everything that felt like
Destruction
Was just making room for you.”
I exhale.
Something inside me unlocks.
All of me is here.The fearless and the fearful.
The wise and the reckless.
The broken and the whole.
No one is missing.
No part of me is left behind.
I see them.
I honor them.
I welcome them home.
And for the first time,
I feel completely, entirely
Here.
Braden Collinsworth
