It's the early hours of the morning and sleep has been allusive for the better part of the night. Someone recently blogged asking the question, what it means to be a submissive. I've been thinking about it and this is what it means to me ...
I am a submissive woman. I am proud to call myself that. It is something I have always felt deep within my soul. It is not what I do .. it is who I am.
I am not weak, or stupid. I am a strong woman, with firm views and a clear concept of what I want my life to be. I do not serve out of shame or weakness, I serve out of pride and strength.
It is my natural state. It is how I express my love and caring for all I hold dear to my heart.
In a loving relationship, I find pleasure, joy, and fulfillment from being submissive to another.
My submission is a gift that I do not give lightly and can only be given completely to one who can appreciate that gift and return it tenfold.
Those who haven't been pure and honest in their intentions, have never received my complete submission. I held back, for whatever reason at the time, I wasn't able to, something was lacking. In hindsight, it was because they just did not, could not provide me with the complete devotion and respect I need and deserve.
Only to He who has that strength will I give myself fully, because I am strong and proud.
For me, it means, I show love through acts of service and devotion, to the one whom I have found trustworthy. He appreciates my way of showing love and appreciates my deed-seeded need to serve. There is no greater freedom; to be able to live in agreement with our deepest natures.
For me, it means having the structure I need. I need rules. I need tasks. Structure is what helps keep me balanced in my everyday. Without it, I begin to feel lost, like I'm flailing as a person, as a submissive.
It means having someone who respects and cares and knows all of me. He understands just how much I need these things and provides a safe environment for me to do so. He loves me and wants to ensure He provides those things for me daily. He also loves me enough to provide guidance, advise, and even discipline when needed.
For me, this is the most important and most intimate part of a D/s relationship. It is the foundation. The sexual desires are what I consider the bonus. When the intimate connection is so deep, it naturally creates a safe environment for the sexual exploration and enjoyment.
My thoughts and desires have always involved being pursued, captured, restrained, enjoyed by and submitting to a worthy Dominant male. The key word is worthy ... someone who is naturally Dominant, honest and knows Himself. He appreciates my adoration and service and is worthy of my trust. I have wanted to live this life 24/7 for as long as I can remember.
It fulfills me to please others and to give of myself. Please don't mistake that this makes me a pushover or can be manipulated. I am an observer. I watch as people behave and respond to others. I watch for their true character. I chose very carefully whom to allow to get close.
It means, I tend to over-think everything. I can get stuck in a worst-case scenario or processing loop over most any decision. So, simplifying my life by devoting myself to Him, as His submissive, allows me to make all decisions based on what pleases Him.
Again, this only works because I judge Him as wise, just, fair and trustworthy.
I am a submissive woman. It is my natural state.
