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I dont know where to begin
So ill start at the end
You fell asleep on the phone
And yet I wasnt alone.
Just to hear you breathe
Made everything fine, so it seemed
Today was rough and thats no lie
Not even ashamed to say I cried.
The thought of not being able to hear your voice
Seemed to take away my own, without a choice
Its needless to say ive become attached
Even though we haven't solidified a pact
I think the world of you and yet have so much to learn
For every minute You're gone I yearn
I dont know why this happened or why you picked me
But my hope is that You, I will forever please
Even though today sucked and was full of shite
Day and night, for you id fight
For its comforting to know im not alone
Looks like this e.t. finally found his home
7-6-26 J. Trueblood
50 minutes ago. Friday, July 17, 2026 at 9:36 PM

She's wild

Never mild

She floors me

By either impressing 

Or controlling

She can give me butterflies with a single word

She'll never go unheard

To me, its the most important voice

She'll always be my first choice

I love the sound of her laugh

She doesn't tolerate the riff raff

She makes me feel big and small

Im telling you, for her im gonna fall

Well, why lie, I already fell

She pulled me right out of my personal hell

Ive been obsessed since the first week

Things no longer seem so bleak

Probably wrapped around her finger

If she leaves, at her front door I'd linger

I cant keep her out of my mind

I swear, she's so divine

Somehow these words dont describe

Her smile, soul, taste, love, and vibe

I swear id give my life for one kiss

When she's not here, im useless

I love it when she's never done

She's my stars, moon and sun

Its Celestial

Treatment preferential 

I feel like she's a magnet

I cant stay away its never stagnant 

With her I feel I could touch the stars

Im no longer behind bars

Even when im being bratty

She handles me uncombativley 

Firm yet lax

Hardly a tax

A gentle guidance

A slight malevolence 

She took a broken thing

Who rarely could sing

To break it further

And puts it back together

Im hers and she is mine

On her, ill take my time

Without her I cant breathe

It seems our thoughts interweave

I dream of her

Every night pretending im laying next to her

I want nothing more

Just her touch, her warmth, I want to be her score

Id settle to be her plaything

Even if she beats me and it stings

Without her im a ghost

Ill never be able to say what I love about her most

Because these words, they dont add up

On her, ill never give up

 

 

 

 

5 days ago. Sunday, July 12, 2026 at 2:19 AM

Tried to die again, couldn't

Tried to escape again, told I shouldn't 

Can't drink anymore

Cant cut anymore

Tried to take too many god damn pills

Even they cant get me over the hill

You know what its like?

For you own brain, To tell you to take a hike

To never feel enough

Every single day is rough

Can't even fucking sleep

Evry single thing is too deep

Feel like im drowning

People sick of me frowning

Mo own daughter destroyed

Feel unworthy of being endured

Im trying to find my own happiness

Then why does it cause he so much unhappiness

The air i breathe is choking me 

Why do I need it, its fucking killing me

I sick of just barely making it,

Evry time I feel myself evolving, it hurts someone by it

I feel locked in this dumb pointless life

Wish this wasn't such a dull knife 

7-12-26 J. Trueblood

 

 

1 week ago. Monday, July 6, 2026 at 9:34 PM

Music isn't loud enough 

Sleeping is rough

Anger and hatred

Papers shredded

Contemplating suicide

In drugs confide

A mask of disguise

Hiding behind these lies

Sleepless nights alone

Never wanting to be home

White powder on a mirror

Facing the horror

Of Infecting judgement

Having no placement

Killing loneliness 

Replacing emptiness 

Nothing fills this empty hole

Too bad I can't fill a six foot hole

Two promises made

I'm stuck in a cage

Trapped by my fears

Blinded by my tears

Greeting solitude

Having no attitude

Stuck in this life 

Playing with hatchets and my knife

Seeing blood form into streams

In these unwanted dreams 

Holding on to hopes and ambitions

Not finding the key that starts the ignition

Set ablaze these walls around me

Watch them burn and collapse around me

As I stand in the ashes and smoke

I try to speak words but only choke

I open my mouth but no words come out

Looking for passage on any route

Minute by minute hour by hour

The sweet turns sour

Bittersweet memories left in my head

Thoughts to my brain that never should have been fed

3-1-12 J. Trueblood

1 week ago. Monday, July 6, 2026 at 9:31 PM

 

 

Mad on the outside

Lost on the inside 
Avoid my reflection
Lacking a general direction 
Cant seem to focus 
Want to hibernate like a locust 
You disgust me 
Completley
Yeah I'm talking to you
The asshole in the mirror is rude
Hes never nice to me
Only blindsides me
Always with this bullshit
Well imma have a fucking bitchfit
And if I cant hurt him
How the fuck can I win
Maybe I should play his stupid game
Pretending it could give him fame
Maybe I could take a shortcut
Or would that be an uppercut
This asshole always puts up a fight
Whether it be day or night
But hes stronger than me
And honestly 
Is easier to go with the flow
Than being swept in the undertow
Why is it the bigger man who's modest
When I'm tinier than him and hes the meanest
He always finds a way to overpower me
Not matter the amount I'm truly happy
I try and I try
I want this sonofabitch to fry
Hes put me through hell
I want to rip him outta his shell
Too bad I could never see
I'm my own worst fucking enemy

 

Unknown date J. Trueblood