just me myself and I, spent the night at the console, with 80’s country in the background. Alabama is probably the first band that I really listened to as young one. His voice and the story they told through song.
Oh this weather, we were spoiled with the calm start of winter, because now we are getting it. There hasn't been much snow, it is the wind, ice and some snow. I am so glad that I am no longer a Deputy. Having to stand outside in sub zero temps with the wind slamming into you at 50mph, while working a wreck. Trying to get people to slow down and find people who take to the country roads after the highways are closed and their GPS takes them down some minimally maintained road to get stuck.
Now I sit at the console, sending out the cavalry of EMS, Fire and Law. I sit up in my little office, shoes off, and sipping tea, all while making sure all are safe and accounted for. The only issue I have is driving back and forth to work, as of late it seems I drive there in good weather and by mornings break there is an ice blanket on on everything, so i creep on home. But the upside is if its too bad of weather, A deputy driving a Hummer can pick me up. I hated driving that thing, but it will get you there.
An early morning walk, well before the sun creeps to the horizon.
A walk in the dark and in the cold of -5, over a well worn and well known path, no light is needed.
The air is still and silent so everything in the distance can be heard. A bird of some type, ruffling its feathers before taking flight.
there is nothing to fear as I walk the well known path.
I received this song several years ago, along with a personal video. And I knew
I find it lovely when you scroll through songs and there is one that just truly stands out to you, and you know is says so much and means so much and you share it. Because sometimes you search for the right words but can’t find them, a song can do that to express what one feels
this song holds my heart.
Ahh the weekend. Two days to be snuggled up at home. . Music playing. drowning out the howling bitter wind as snow and ice fall from the sky, I stand at the back window, coffee cup in hand, watching the branches of the apricot tree snap about. Blades of Buffalo grass peek out from the blanket of snow and ice covered ground. Everything is incased in a light sheen of ice, which dances in the morning sunlight.
My coffee cup warms my fingertips as I thaw from being outside briefly. I let a long deep sigh pass over my lips forming a fog to rest on the window pane. I softly draw a tiny heart and smile.
there is just something about these two when they sing together. I cry happy tears.
I'm in a new career that I love, a spin-off of the previous one. I work from 7pm to 7am, with a schedule I like; in one week, I will work Monday and Tuesday, have Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday off, and then work Saturday and Sunday, then the following week, the days flip flop.
Moving on to highlights of the past two years: I received a much-suspected diagnosis of ADHD and Binge Eating Disorder, and I am thrilled to finally have this diagnosis. We bought a 99-year-old farmhouse on the edge of town. We got married! Bishop and I were married on December 15, 2023. There was no color scheme, fancy dress, suit, tie, flowers, or reception, just at my eldest daughter's house with her and her husband signing as witnesses, followed up by a Facebook post to make it, you know, "official." While on our way home, I called in a to-go order for dinner at the local steak house; we enjoyed our quiet evening with steak, salmon, spicy cheese cubes, and, of course, our two dogs, Tah-a and Hades, begging for a bite. Bishop and Hades were back on the road the next day, and Tah-a and I went to bed as I worked that night; it was perfect.
In 5 short months, I turn 50! I am excited about that and ready to embrace this next stage of my life. The upcoming year will be filled with learning and growth and sharing my love of Walt Disney World with Bishop as we plan a week-long trip to see the Mouse. Nothing will test a couple like a week-long trip to WDW that is in the planning stages; if you can survive Disney, you can survive anything, LOL.
I've started on a list of books and videos Bishop assigned me. They are on the topics of logic and the principles of Bushido, which will make me think more deeply, understand what and why I do things, and challenge my thinking, not live on a superficial plane, to question everything I read and hear, to know what I stand for, and what I will fight for.
I'm learning to embrace my submission to Bishop by listening, not jumping ahead, or thinking I can do it without help... He is my Dommanint, and I am his submissive. I love him deeply and cherish every aspect of him.
I am learning to communicate better during conflicts. Communication has always been a problem of mine, most likely attributed to codependency and not wanting to ruffle feathers and keep the peace by keeping one's mouth shut. You see, in past relationships, if someone said, "I'm sorry," the conflict was expected to be swept under the rug and not brought up again, "that was that" even if there was still hurt and frustrations. Now, as I am learning and practicing healthy conflict resolution, and allowing myself to speak up, I'm realizing both persons can say they feel heard and understood.
So here I am with MY Bishop, living my life for me and for us. I've let a lot go and realize what people mean or don't mean to me. I no longer have the time to be a people-pleaser, and I have no guilt for not inviting them to my table.
I look forward to posting short stories, music videos of my at-the-moment mood, sharing our daily life, and whatever else might pop into my mind.