If You Care To Find Me, Look To The Western Sky...

Well the short staycation is coming to an end. I relaxed, I chatted, I cooked, meals were prepared and I enjoyed my time off. I do wish it could have been a trip where I boarded a plane to go off on an adventure with someone, but I will have more vacation time in the future, and when it warms up. 

I needed this little staycation, gave me lots of time for self-reflection and time to organize my house a bit more (that always seems to be an ongoing project), I organized my daily workouts, so I am not flipping through my sheets deciding what I need to work on after riding 5-10 miles. 

I worked on one of my 3 books that I WILL get published in the coming year. I looked at tattoo ideas and putting that together, not sure when that will happen, but I have to be me and I feel I am to have colors upon my skin.

I am ready to get out there, take life by the horns, go on that ride. I think I found the dragon

 

I want to be spoiled, spoiled in his Dominance. To run free in my submission. To be his prey as he snares me in his ropes. To be his hunger as flames dance around my body and wax runs along my curves, feeding all his desires.

To feel his hand gripping  my leg as he shows his ownership to the world. Greeting him each day with pure devotion, his collar around my neck. To have him take me to the edge and hold me there teetering, begging until he allows me to be washed in pure ecstasy. 

Aching for each strike across my skin, crying tears of obedience. I want to serve him in every way. Be on my knees looking up to him with a desire no one else understands.

With subtle words and slight glances we can communicate across the room. He knows my thoughts, he learned who I was and who I am. He can guide me to what I want or need before I know these things. 

A simple “babygirl” or “my slave” in a deep whisper, calming me, bringing me to the headspace I need to be.

I have his mark upon my skin. To be his lil slave when the time arrives 

 

This is what my heart sings, I just didn't know the words until now. had to have them shared with me

 

Something about this song... I can envision some rope, some wax, a strong hand on my ass, and some leather.  

I am on a 4-day vacation, well a stay-cation, but it is nice to have some extended down time, and hours that needed to be used at work. I spent the entire first day sleeping, I woke at 3:20 pm and could not for the life of me tell if it was am or pm, it looked the same ( I work night shift, so my days are nights and my nights are days)

I lingered in the shower sipping my coffee. Yes, I took a beverage into the shower with me, I enjoyed the warmth of my coffee and the warmth of the water washing over my body. Scrubbing, shaving, shampooing, soaking. Cozy clothes were slipped into and onto the couch to camp out to watch a couple episodes of Lucifer., with the dog cuddled next to me. 

Laundry tumbling, dishes done, candles burning and lights down low, soft music playing in all the rooms. I nest in front of the computer and edit a book I am writing. I do my best writing at 3 a.m., my little house surrounded by darkness.

I ran my fingers through my hair and thought “it is time”, I turned on some heavier music, feeling the beat and the words. I picked up the clippers, selected the guard, looked in the mirror, nodded and  lifted the clippers to my head.  Such a freeing feeling, shedding a layer of fear and doubts.  I felt so much lift from my chest, tears ran down my face. I felt that I now can focus again. I again looked into the mirror and saw myself, a tear streaked face, puffy eyes, and  bits of hair stuck all over me, and I… smiled.

 

 

I love this song for freaking much!!

 

 

 

you ever just sit in the nights darkness, filled with a fire so passionate you cannot explain 

 

a little cooking in the night, nothing fancy. A simple flat iron, with garlic butter and herbs.  Love my nights of dancing freely around the house, music turned up, candles flickering as the only light source. perhaps  a glass of wine to enjoy.  A simple night alone

Tarnished Armor 

 

It almost always seems the story plays out that  a knight in shining armor, comes thundering in on  his mighty steed. With a broad sword drawn ready to save the damsel in distress.  

 

I say why? Why a knight in shining armor? Why must he look impeccable in his glinting steel?  

 

I do not need nor want a knight wearing this armor to come to me.  I want and desire the knight who has dragged himself through battle. Bloodied by his wounds alongside  those he fights with.

 

My knight should have armor that has been dented and pierced from many blows and strikes. Armor that has been tarnished by sweat and tears.  Armor the conceals in the dark of night 

 

A knight who wears armor which  shines under the sunlight, and gleams  in moonlight, armor without any stain. Has not stood in the battlefield leading his troops . But remains at the horizon seated on a hill crest watching his  men fall in battle and barks orders to seek victory in his name. 

 

The one who’s worn the tarnished armor has fought in many battles and knows the evils the takes place on the battlefield and in the nightmares which  bring the past to present 

 

The tarnished armor does not claim to be perfect and more regal and more valued.  The tarnished armor will give thoughtful council. He will sit against the wall listening and watching, his stories are only revealed as needed and only to improve a situation. 

 

While the shining armor will boast and tell tales of all they have done and seen.  Making the stories more grand as the crowds gather. 

 

Tarnished armor protects a loving heart.