Name' sake

. . . . Screamed the leaves.

"No smoking in here honey . . ."  "Oh . . . Sorry"

"Can we go somewhere?"  "Where would you like to go?" I asked, over-casually . . . I was needing a cigarette myself. . . "I dont care . . ."

lust
/ləst/
Learn to pronounce
 
noun
very strong sexual desire.
"he knew that his lust for her had returned"
 
Similar:
sexual desire
sexual appetite
sexual longing
. . . 
verb
have a very strong sexual desire for someone.
"he really lusted after me in those days"
Similar:
desire 
be consumed with desire for
find sexually attractive
find sexy
 . . . . 

Assuming, she stood and started putting her coat on . . . "He" . . . "What?"  She stopped mid-sleeve. "You mentioned 'he' was supposed to be there . .  "  "oh. . . My stupid brother"  . . . 

"Its been a pleasure Ms Brenda, thank you"

I placed my cup and a ten on the counter - Katie was already impatiently waiting outside.  "You be careful honey" she warned . . . "Of course" . . .  

The night was . . .

. . . 

The night was . . . 

??

. . .

The streets were asleep . . . The streetlights kept a careful watch over the stillness. Nothing would get by them. . . Except the shadows.

"Do you wanna fuck?"  . . . "Excuse me!?"  I choked . . . "Do . . .you . . . Want . . .to . . . Fuck?"  -  caught off guard . . . I pulled the car over . . .straight faced, she repeated herself.

". . . I mean . . .I dont even . . . " "Why is it 'ok' if a man says that to a woman?' She interupted my stammering. "Im horny . . . You seem like a nice guy . . . You wanna fuck?"

"Ok, yeah - sure"  I tossed back with sarcasm "lets fuck!". . . Katie is it? . . . Where would you like to do this fucking Katie? "

Familiar arousal is one thing - spontaneous abandon is an entirely different beast. 

We wrestled against the bastard steering wheel . . .  cursed the confines . . . We tore and fumbled . . . needed .  . . .

sweet, sweet release . . . 

(Continued . . . . ?)

If you dont want to sleep?

"Just half, thank you"  I stopped her with a quick gesture - breaking my concentration at the leaves playing on the sidewalk in the cold night air. "When does the kitchen open?" Not till 5:30 sweety, but I can make you up some toast or something if you'd like . . . couple doughnuts?" She half pointed towards the  counter "Nah" .. ."ok honey, let me know" . . . 

The battle with-in is a curious thing. Human beings are the only creatures on the planet that suffer their own existence. 

"You aint from around here, are you? You in some kinda trouble or something? "  I gave her my best 'familiar with this' smile  - just passin through " . . ." where ya headed?"  "I dont know . . . Wanna come with me?" She laughed "got room for my husband and 2 kids?" I chuckled at her 'used to shit from strangers'  response. 

Silence of the leaves . . . . 

The old bells jingled harshly as she barged in - breaking the mood of the dragging lonely night . . .  "can I use your phone!?" . . .  "Please? " . . .  "payphone sweety" Brenda pointed towards the back. "I dont . . . Can I . . . ."  She shot a look at me, back at Brenda . . . 

"Here" . . . I tossed some change on the table.

Its not fair to judge a book by its cover, but we all do it - dont we?  Why was my first thought "hooker"?  I suppose it is a survival instinct thing - engrained in our dna.

She was an attractive girl - late 30s maybe. Not really dressed like your stereotypical 'lady of the evening'.  I heard the phone slam . . . And then silence . . . .

"Thank you" -  tears welling up in her eyes - she tossed the remaining change on my table

"Sit down, i'll buy you a coffee"  . . .I nodded at Brenda.  

". . . .and he said he'd be there  . . . .he promised me! . . ."  

I was half listening, half guaging who I was dealing with. was she a hooker?  Player looking for an easy score?

" . . .whats that?" . . . "I said whats your name? "Oh, sorry . . . Jack"  "Its nice to meet you Jack, im Katie . . . . Why do men suck?"

"I think we were programmed that way, but im not entirely sure".  She gave a slight grin and slipped out of her coat

"Thank you, do you have any sweet-n-low?"  Brenda pulled a couple packets from her apron. "Thank you".

To be continued  . . . 

(If someone wants to continue this story, please feel free)

Of the sexual variety. 

Some can relate more than others.

I see subjects and topics and tears and tears (those really should be spelled differently - to cry or to rip something in two)

As ive stated before, I analyze things alot.

Human behavior mostly.

How much of what we do is simply trying to release sexual tension? How much is a longing for our missing hearts desire? Could they be one in the same?

Single people that play alone, or people that play with someone because they have no one else, people that arent able to play, etc, etc. 

Rope play, sensation play, pain . . . 

I have always had a rather high sex drive - and most, if not all the 'experts' I have followed on self help say sex is a basic human need. (Enter . . . 'tension').

Its been awhile . . . 

Do you find relief after you have played alone? - or with someone that isnt your mate?

Or does it just leave you wanting?

Maybe if I do that harder? Or try adding this?

Or or or or . . . . 

I long for love, as we all do ~

 But as the months turn into years  . . .

"Oh the things I would do to her! . . . or her . . . . or her . . . . or them"

The birthplace of primal.

Or do we just ignore the dirty thoughts?

"Hush you!"

#woke up with wood

Many people have times and memories of childhood "blocked".

I have stated before, I analyze everything,  over-analyze. 

This is one of them . . .

You were in a really bad car accident  - almost died. Why didnt your mind block that??  You almost died for fuck sake! Not only did your mind not block that, it played it out for you in slow motion!

🤔

So then, it stands to reason,  the mind will protect itself by "blocking" only certain types of hurt. . . 

Emotions

But only certain emotions . . . 

Mommy did that to me and I cringe (formally a blocked memory). My Domme (when/if I had one lol)  does that to me . . . And I cum!  

What the fuck!?    🤔

Right?

But I feel a sense of guilt afterwards. I would feel a sense of shame if anyone knew. . . But why? (Is this the essence of sub-drop?). 

I wont go into gory details - like many, I had a fucked up childhood too. I spent most of my life trying to understand the "whys" of things - the workings of the human mind - disfunction,  ect, etc, etc. Why, when someone is abused, they carry disfunction/s around with them for part of their life, or all of thier life. Guilt, shame, addiction, anger, etc. But the same person is quick to tell the story of that horrific car accident without any of these - Assuming,  of course, they were the victim of said accident, and not the cause . . . 

". . .and not the cause"   🤔

. . . . . 

. . . . . 

I said to someone recently "you are not what was done to you!" 

There is a singularity obtainable in the duality of man (humans). Conscious /subconscious  - light/shadow  yin/yang.

"Do not feel guilt or shame for indulging in your desires - It is the subconscious mind that drives our desires - the conscious mind complicates them" .

The trick, the secret - what ever you want to call it - is to embrace yourself, your heart and mind, your desires - they are you. Learn to listen to what your subconscious is trying to achieve. 

*This subject could go very deep and lengthy, and I am by no stretch of the imagination an expert on any of it - just my experiences and research  - and opinion.

As always, safe and consentual.  👍

Open for discussion  . . . . 

Hot leather on soft skin

Taste it bitch

Drink it in!

Thats it . . . Arch!

Trust me . . . Trust

Drip for me love . . . Reach

Reach . . .For me! . . . Love

Scream in the heat

Take it bitch!

Feel it spin 

I will eat you . . . .

Alive

He had no soul - he made a pact with the devil . . . And she took it!

* * * * *

Fuckboy was on hands and knees, naked.
Held firmly in place by the steel ring that locked around his "weakness" and chained to the floor.
Her touch set off his trembling - Highness was in a mood tonight.

* * * * *

The board meeting didnt go as planned and Rachel had had it up to here with men fucking everything up! She knew she was right, they were just too stupid to see it!

* * * * *

"Did you miss me?"
She knelt in front of him and gently slicked through his hair . . . Methodically, like a florist atop a finished bouquet.
"Yes Highness" clearing his dry throat "very much"
He could feel her agitation in his blood.
"Sshhh, ok, ok . . . Be still" - a soft devils kiss on his cheek . . . She stood up -
"eyes down" she reminded over her shoulder as she made her way over to the dry bar.

* * * * *

Rachel was a strong woman. She knew what she had. "Pathetic little men!" She grinned in the mirror and smoothed her form fitting black skirt . . . admired her curves . . . and un-did the top button of her white blouse.
"Sexy, but not over the top . . . Yes indeed"
She gave herself an approving wink and poured a bourbon . . .

* * * * *

"Kiss" she extended her heel under his lowered face from her sprawl on the sofa.
He did as instructed . . . quickly and with ferver . . . "Again" she extended her other. . . ."good boy . . . "
Rachel propped her feet up on his back and let out an exhausted relief that the work day was over.

* * * * *

Fuckboy knew what the gentle tapping on his ass was - Highness's crop. It was her favorite. "Be still!" . . . The hot sting cut deep . . .
He steady himself and the trembling eased.

* * * * *

His body still - mind completely blank - He focused intently on her every sound, her breath . . . anticipating the sound of her getting up . . . time passed . . .

Ice rattled and the glass set down.
Rachel knelt before her subject - lifted his chin and gave him a sultry kiss on the lips. She knew he took it in as intended . . . A warning.
"Ssshhh . . .there there" his trembling returned as she brushed over his naked body, his sides, down his back. He began to shake violently when her hand found him there . . . his "weakness".
"oooh I know . . . sshhh . . . poor thing"
Her comforting words stirred an excited fear deep with-in him.

She sat back, laid down on the floor in front of him and hooked one leg over his back - the other - foot planted, knee bent. She brushed her hair back and let her arms fall lazily above her head. He didnt hear exactly what she went on about . . . Work.

He trembled . . . .

Her tone began to deepen . . . words became sharper . . . venomous . . .

His world carelessly displayed before his desperate eyes.

* * * * *

He had passed desire, identification, longing. He was an object - his only purpose was to please his Highness.

She was a sadist . . .

* * * * *
Her crop landed hard . . .
"Who's cock is this!?" . . . "Yours Highness!"
It landed harder . . .
"Who's ass is this!?" . . . "Yours Highness!"
again . . .
"What is your purpose!?" . . . "My only purpose is to please you Highness, to be used in any way you wish Highness! I am your fuckboy Highness!"
"What . . is . . your . . purpose!?"
He laboured out his recital . . . as she beat him swiftly and without mercy.

"Good boy . . . "

* * * * *

"Open!" She commanded, pulling his head back by his hair . . . Her tool pushing harder against his ass "yes Highness!" he pleaded "im trying" . . . She worked into him and started her rhythm. Fuckboy knew to surrender to this, her favorite release. He was chained - he had no choice . . . No choice but to take it until she was satisfied.
Her hips slapped hard against him . .
she dug her claws in . . .

"What . . .

Is . . . .

Your . . .

Purpose!? . . ."

Panting, sweat dripping . . . body convulsing.
His groaning had become stuttered whimpering

She was satisfied . . . . For now.

* * * * *

Continued . . . . ?