I am 'in want' with a shell.
I dont love him, i cant.
But i want him.
Or shall i say the thought of him.
Him and his potiential.
And i am 'in want' with a stranger.
One who doesn't seem to tell everything like it is either.
But i am in want with his demeanor.
His gentleness his has touched me.
I am 'in want' with a mindset.
The Dominant i havent met.
A lot of me is saving myself for him,
but he's supposed to protect me.
I think this is my favorite want.
But its the one to make me feel the weakest. Im supposed to be a strong, independent, black woman that doesnt need a man -- and maybe its not a man im seeking - but i do want somebody. Somebody that wants me.
I dont want to think for myself all the time. Sometimes i want someone to make my life for me..
My ultimate fantacy? The Dominant who moves me in. An obsessive, controlling man. A dominate who takes my life and schedules it to the T. Like the ones as angry as tv doms, yet tender like the ones in books who have become the lifestyle, and understand its nurturing nature. A man who has everything he wants and a need to give it all away but no one to take care of him. An intelligent Sir that understands me, my emotions and how often they switch. a daddy that knows his little is ignorant -- and pushes her in the right direction. A master that does not take kindly to disrespect and rule breaking, but a partner that understands we're all flawed.
I want Him. So badly do i just want to throw myself at his feet. To surrender myself.
Ive told myself, i should want better. Then i told myself, ive already had worse.
I just want to give myself away. To someone who won't abuse me until its actually time to. And will use me to better themselves, and their desires.
I am already, so much, 'in want'
What's wrong with me?
-Johnathn Doe
