Over the past few days, things have slowed down for me a bit. I’m starting to settle into the cage—it feels more and more like a part of me now. I’m still working out the kinks (pun fully intended), and while the HT is comfortable, wearing it for long periods has really made me consider investing in a harness to deal with the gravity and weight issues.
Mentally, I feel good. I feel supported, and I’ve noticed that practicing discipline has boosted my confidence immensely. I keep learning new things about myself, along with re-learning experiences I’d tucked away and forgotten about.
Sexually, though, I’m in a strange place. Porn doesn’t feel the same since I’ve heavily cut back, and I’m struggling to retrain my brain to feel arousal without it. I find myself craving it more than I’d like to admit. When an edging session starts, I can feel a lot of tension building—trying to stay mindful, avoid porn scenarios, maintain arousal, count strokes, record everything, and not cum all at once is… a lot.
Still, despite the challenges and frustrations, this experience has been nothing short of wonderful. I find myself craving a more intimate and deeper dynamic. It’s like my submissive side has been tickled, and now I really want to explore it further.
The scores came in:
- T — 350 / 990
- P — 360 / 970
- D — 270 / 870
- Pneuma — 250 / 815
- T — 300 / 770
- S — 200 / 745
- C — 175 / 700
- L — 130 / 420
- J — 120 / 225
- S — 110 / 110
- D — 0 / 0
- K — 0 / 0
Yup. I knew it. The way things are shaping up, I don’t feel like I have a chance at first place against these guys. And before I knew it, bidding was open again. How does it come around so fast?!
Round 6’s rules were a bit… strange:
- Please use a metronome app set to 60 beats per minute to play in the background of the video.
- Please record an additional 5 seconds post edging.
- Edging submissions must go directly to me.
- 24 hour submission times will be strictly enforced. Any submission or redo not in that time will receive no points for the round.
If you have bankrupted:
- Minimum bid is 85 strokes.
- You will complete your edging session with 3 clothes pins on your balls. One on the left, one on the right, and one in the middle.
- Application and removal of the clothes pins shall be part of your edging submission video.
If you are at or under 500 points but have NOT bankrupted:
- Minimum bid is 100 strokes.
- You will complete your edging session with one clothespin to be placed on the left ball.
- Application and removal of the clothes pin shall be part of your edging submission video.
If you are over 500 points:
- Minimum bid is 175 strokes.
- First place has a 25 stroke minimum increase from the previous rounds bid.
Back down to 60 BPM?! Hmmm… what is she up to? 😆
I knew I had to step it up if I wanted to climb the ladder, so I bid 350 strokes. I didn’t fully realize what I’d done until after I placed the pledge. I mean, I’m kind of proud of myself for even imagining 350 strokes—but it definitely felt over my head.
Once I started recording, the difference between 75 BPM and 60 BPM hit me immediately. It dawned on me just how much longer this was going to take—and how many strokes I’d committed to. Almost six minutes of stroking.
Mistress Ashley strikes again.
It felt deliberate, like she was guiding me into a specific headspace. My heart dropped into my stomach. I felt like a vessel, simply allowing these experiences to move through me at her direction. Without realizing it, I noticed a huge, devious grin had spread across my face.
Making it to 350 wasn’t without challenges. For one, my water-based lube didn’t last the whole session. Toward the end, I was basically just beating my cock. 😐 This time more than ever, my thoughts were scrambled. I really need to work on relaxing. Somewhere along the way, I’ve trained myself to think of cumming as disappointing—and now I also find myself afraid of getting turned on. What an overwhelming mess!
Rankings for Round 6
P--- 460/1430
T--- 400/1390
D--- 450/1320
T--- 400/1170
Pneuma--- 350/1165
S--- 400/1145
C--- 225/925
L--- 175/595
J--- 125/350
S--- 150/260
D--- 85/85
K--- 0/0
Just as I suspected I am going further down despite the fact that I've been pushing the envelope. I will continue to to my best. Even though I am a bit discouraged, It is not really about being the first, just the journey itself has been a huge reward for me!
When my harness finally arrived after being delayed by the weather. I was so excited to try it. It took me a good half hour to incorporate it with the cage, but once I got it on, I sent a verification photo to the group captioned: “Harness Arrived.”
When Mistress Ashley asked how it felt, I replied:
So far, not too shabby, Mistress. It holds the cage snug against my body, and my penis is now completely inside the cage, which makes me feel incredibly… contained, held, and restricted. Mentally, it also makes me feel more “out of control.” When I get hard now, it feels like my entire penis is being squeezed instead of mostly the tip—especially since I have a very stubborn turtle that loves retreating into its shell.
That said, the third strap running from underneath the cage to the waistband above my butt feels like it’s trying to go inside me 😅 It’s a very tight thong.
She’d shared a link to a four-way harness earlier, back when I first placed the order, and now I really wish I’d gone with that one. We had a good laugh about it, but more than ever, I see how important a four-way harness would be for me.
To be continued…
30 Days Lock Up (Days Nine, Ten, Eleven)