I have not posted in some time, so I apologize to my followers as I have made some promises on posting topics. I have just moved from the Pacific Northwest to upstate New York. Aside from the usual issues associated with a big move, there are so many other kink related topics to blog on; the separation from my sub partners and kink community, the conversion from in-person to LDR, adaptation to evolving dynamics and the like. Yet there is another pressing matter that weighs on my mind, one I wish I didn't need to discuss here, but sadly I think this needs to be shared and takes precedence over my other blog topics for now.
About a year ago, I met a truly special person on Tumblr. He was a kinky sub male with a kinky sub male blog, thus we had a lot in common and a friendship blossomed. On his Tumblr blog, he often shares some of his own writings of fictional erotica. In my opinion, his writing is quality and quite a joy to read, but he is often victimised by shaming, cyber bullying, and people that just don't get kink. In an effort to encourage him in his writing and kink expression, I pressed him to join The Cage and blog here instead. I told him he would find a welcoming community, that his writing would be appreciated and embraced, and that he would not be judged, harassed or bullied for his kinks. I told him this was a safe place, no mater what the kink. He finally agreed, joined The Cage and started blogging...A few days ago I got a message from him saying that he was finding The Cage was not for him, and that he would likely be leaving. He said, without going into detail, that he had multiple unpleasant experiences with multiple parties in The Cage that made him feel uncomfortable. He said it was too cliquish and judgmental here and that he would likely stick to Tumblr for his writing. He was polite and a bit vauge in his explanation, knowing how much I like it here, but was also firm and resolute in his decision and experience. Needless to say, I was shocked he was having such a negative experience here.
As a Top that was a former bottom, I am fully aware that s type experiences are quite different from D types'. However, I was not expecting such a negative review. For the past few days I have been sitting with the anger, sadness and guilt as I reflect on this. I am of course indirectly responsible for subjecting him such negativity as he likely wouldn't have come to this site without encouragement from me. I know The Cage staff works very hard to cultivate a positive environment for all. I know there are very good people here that won't tolerate such behavior from anyone. And I know that this was likely a rare interaction/s. However, it still happened here and a beautiful soul and voice will be leaving this community because of it. With all the efforts made to keep this community different from the other garbage out there, how is it still happening here???
I have come to the conclusion that this is probably not a community problem. It is a personal one. It is an affect of a closed mind and ignorance to the many beautiful kinks that fall outside of traditional dynamics. I cannot change people, to make them more accepting, but I can use my experience and platform to educate...
While there are so many topics to blog on, in the interest of this experience, I will be dedicating my following posts to fringe, and often misunderstood, kinks of male submission in the hopes that people may come to understand them, and how they support a Female Led Dynamic, which will hopefully lead to a least one change in perception.
I will close with one final thought. Male submissives are not weak. They are not cowards. They do not exist to be your personal physical and emotional punching bags. They are people that deserve respect and a voice in the community.
*As always I have negotiated the sharing of this information with the involved party. As negotiation stands, I have permission to share this post as it is but no additional info
