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Femdom Expression; Raw, Honest, Genuine

A blog of the opinions and perspective of a lifestyle Domme including thoughts, discussion, and experience. Intended to be thought provoking, enlightening, and educational, with focus on healthy dynamics, pratical applications and a realism not found in professional resources.
6 years ago. January 13, 2018 at 1:47 AM

*My "Fringe" series is dedicated to the less known, misunderstood, and often negatively perceived, forms of male submission. I am looking to inform and educate through my own experience, and to defend and support such styles of play. To understand my motivation, please read my prequel post.*

 

This post will likely conclude my Fringe series and thus will cover the most taboo of all; edge play, blood play and watersports. It is my experience that these cover the most missunderstood and most hard-limited activities in BDSM. I want to make it clear that I in now way encourage exploration in such activities. I merely mean to bring awareness to the community on the existence of such kinks so they may be better received by others.

 

Edge Play

Edge play is a loose term for any type of play that involves higher risk, extreme fear or any play outside of your typical safe, sane, consensual (SSC) play. Knife/gun play, mutilation/scarring/branding, CBT, breadth play, kidnapping, interrogation, or fear based role play are all examples of edge play. Even when there is no risk of physical harm in such scenes there is always a risk of psychological harm thus any edge play should be approached with extreme caution. Most people agree that such play is not ever safe not matter what measures are taken so instead of SSC, edge play protocols are defined by RACK (Risk Aware Consentual Kink). While such forms of play may seem foolish, those practicing such play approach it with extreme respect. In my experience, the higher risk for such activities requires an attentiveness and safety protocols that are often overlooked in "safer" play. 

Blood Play

Blood play may involve any form of sharp object for piercing or cutting the skin. Knife play does not inherently mean blood play. Knives can be used as props for role play in fear scenes or a tool for sensory play and do not have to cut to be considered knife play. Blood play, however can obviously be done with a knife. Some in the community perfer the term "sharps". The reason for this is because the kink may not be for blood at all but more for the pain or act of piercing or cutting. It is also possible for sharps play, say with needles for example, to not draw blood. However, one must make the assumption that blood will be present. The immense risk for blood or sharps play needs to be respected. This is not just important for the bottom, the Top is also potentially exposing themselves to bloodborne dangers. As such, this is an activity typically best suited for body fluid bonded couples. 

So what is the attraction to such activities?

In my opinion, it is the same motivators for more traditional activities in D/s; excitement, power exchange, vulnerability, trust, a commitment to the dynamic in either role... Most of us are aware of the "adrenaline junkie" personality type. It is very possible such people that find their way into the kink world may find a higher level of risk to be perfectly acceptable in play. My point is that such play is dynamic with a huge range of activities and risk ranging from moderate to very high. However, risk is determined by a multitude of factors, which isn't very different from other forms of kink. 

 

My final taboo topic is the Big One, the one no one wants to discuss, but here I am, throwing it all out there...watersports.

This is actually hard for me to write on as it is a hard limit of my own, but given the spirit of "Fringe", it is an important topic for the discussion. This is another activity where I have noticed a double standard. I recall, once skimming through posts on another kink website, and seeing a still frame from a video of a woman kneeling in a bathtub and two men standing up. I didn't watch but the context was obvious. This particular video was quite popular yet I doubt a Domme woman and sub male would have gotten the same reaction. That is an assumption, but I believe, a valid one. 

So why the attraction to something so taboo?

*Well, because it is taboo.

Many people are attracted to activities specifically because they are wild, extreme and otherwise unmentionable.

*A visceral motivation to mark property.

*The ultimate in humiliation. 

*Intimacy.

Like many of the other "Fringe" topics, there is often a powerful bond that forms between people that share such intimate and personal experiences.

I will offer a final comment on watersports that is based on the experience of another who was willing to share their perspective with me. This is an activity that takes care and attention of the Top. With hydration and a disciplined diet, the acrid taste and smell is replaced by something much more pleasant. I found this interesting because in some ways it seems an act of discipline and caring that requires responsibility of the Top, which is not so different from other activities. This added a layer of complexity in my understanding of this specific kink that I wasn't expecting given that this activity seemed so grounded in humiliation and degredation.


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