NO! Not me, not ever!
This was a reply to a post on another site. The original poster (an admitted newbie) was basically asking how to deal with the fact that her dynamic with her husband/Dominant was in a slump. She confronted him with "why aren't we living as our contract reads", basically. I read through the responses and saw this and couldn't imagine reacting that way. Relationships have highs and lows, D/s relationships can be extra difficult as they require active participation to maintain the dynamic.... falling into a routine can be a death knell.
A long time ago during a conversation, He mentioned something that was recommended in a seminar that he attended. When a submissive is spinning out of control, won't back down, forgetting her place (which is common for those in a marriage or romantic relationship) to simply say "Are you ready to take the/my collar off?". I honestly never expected that He would use that on me.... I'm "perfect" of course, and even if He did, it couldn't possibly bother me. SMH One night we were chatting and got on a subject and disagreed. It unnecessarily escalated and i dug into my opinion. I'm stubborn and not really known for my willingness to back down. It went on for several minutes... and He DID IT... HE SAID that CRAP to me! I flippantly replied that He didn't mean it (He did), that He wouldn't want that (but wouldn't He?). As i spouted my bravado, my adrenaline slowed and it started to seep into my subconscious that He said those words to me and what they meant. He was silent, after He said it, He didn't say a word. My sass became apologies as the realization set in that this was real, and while He loved me, it was also time for me to remember my place. I was suitably chastised and the issue dropped. I've thought about those moments over and over since then. It impacted my psyche, even though i knew about it, was prepared for it..... but experiencing it face to face was awful. I tell this story, to flip the coin. How would He feel if i had thrown my collar in His face? i know exactly what He would do, He'd pick it up and tuck it into His pocket and turn and walk away. It might not end things but it would take a long time before i'd earn the right to wear it again, if ever.
Passions run hot. Emotions fly all over the place... but we must always take a moment before we react. Even if He/She is your spouse, that does not remove your subservience to that person. If there is an issue with your D/s dynamic, approach it as a submissive and not as a wife/lover. There is little that cannot be repaired with a rational discussion.... but flying off the handle because you are safe as a spouse is delusional. They can decide to end that aspect of your relationship, so be prepared to lose the thing that might have brought you together in the first place.
