We hate to say it, or even believe it's possible... but it happens to the best of us.
It's no one's fault, it's just life getting in the way of your dynamic. Unless you are an exceptionally focused person it's easy to slip into periods where it just seems as if you are going through the motions. Maybe it's kids, or jobs, or just the doldrums of life that will push your dynamic to the back burner. Most relationships in BDSM or otherwise require effort on both sides. I'd be totally jealous if someone said and could prove to me that their relationship required little to no effort, but truthfully i don't find that realistic.
Being His is easy... it always has been. The greatest peace and joy of my life is in being in service to this man. He is the other half to my whole. I'd love for people to think that our relationship is perfect (as many here seem to portray), but it's not, and it helps no one to believe that it is... not us or those that read blogs for insight. Our relationship is long distance. We strive to see each other as often as possible, but it doesn't always happen. Summer is busy in my career field and he's very active outside and in his own job. So we depend on messages and phone calls to keep us connected when we can't be together. Things that are easy to put aside and forget if you have stuff going on in your life. So it usually starts by walking away in the middle of a chat and not telling the other person. Or forgetting to say good night. Innocent enough. Then maybe you just can't find the time to stop and truly enjoy each other, play or just relax and laugh. The love is there... but that dratted disconnect. Maybe you ignore it at first, perhaps you are just over feeling things, but eventually it becomes obvious. Do you address it? Thankfully, as painful as it can become, we do.
Firstly, we accept that we are humans and fallible; yes even Doms are fallible. Then we break it down, what has brought us to this point. We make plans to fix it and put those in motion. It's a simple formula. Generally that gets us back on track.
Without physical touchstones it's easy to let things fall to the wayside. We both abhor micromanagement, and i operate fairly well within the parameters that are set for me. Though, i mess up. i'm supposed to wear my leather collar when i'm home, do i always, nope. I can give you a dozen reasons why, but what it all boils down to is it's willful disobedience. Pushing buttons in hopes to get a reaction. But... the only reaction i get, is that i'm letting myself down. You see, it probably doesn't matter to him whether or not i'm wearing my collar, but for me, it's a physical reminder to who i am and who i belong to, and by shirking that i am rejecting that comfort and peace that goes along with it... what the fuck is wrong with me?
If your relationship is perfect, then more power to you... i wish you well. If you work very hard at maintaining your dynamic, i applaud you, but remember it takes a very small slip to slide completely down. If it happens, put it back together and push just a little harder. Never be afraid to take a small step back and analyze what can be better. Never fear open communication, this is how strong foundations are built.
I'm grateful that He is as dedicated to what we have as i am. I'm a hot mess and a handful, but he loves me despite it all. I'm His and it's truthfully the only thing i ever wanted to be.
