My way is not the right way.... it's the right way for me and M/mine. I might be secretly judgmental but as long as what you are doing is within consent and not illegal, then I think you should do what makes you happy and I will champion your right to do so and cheer you on. I can be friends with you if you have an opposing political view, we just won't discuss those things. I'm kind of an asshole, but I'm the kind of asshole that will always have your back. I'm madly in love with a girl (boi) that I met here on The Cage, and to be my friend is to listen to me lament about how much I love and miss her. I am positive that it becomes tedious hearing it, but I appreciate that no one ever tells me so. Even after nearly 7 months, it's as if I met her yesterday and it's all new love. Is it perfect? No, we face the same challenges that most couples do and we spat and have bad days, but those days are rare and the good outweigh the bad. We are working towards forever and I'm planning a move to her city early summer. Sure I could pack up and go but we need time to make arrangements and truthfully to be sure that it's what we both want. I'm also living openly for the first time as queer, though I've been so all my life. It's new for me and I'm fortunate that laura thinks it's cute and supports me as I let down my guard and allow my true self to come out.
I try to help... that's the person I am. It annoys one of my best friends because if I see someone in pain or struggling I will offer to help, often to my detriment. I'm quiet, I prefer not to rock the boat but I have a couple of hot button issues and for those I speak and I will not back down. Let me tell you about one of them..... Transfolk. You'd think that I have personal experience in this topic because I'm so strongly opinionated, but I do not... but what I do have is A FRIEND. A lovely beautiful friend who a few years ago came out as trans. A friend who prior to the beginning of her transition was shy, awkward and frankly seen to be a little weird. I honestly didn't even like him. So she came out and her words of pain and fear spoke to me. That shy awkward person is now whom she always was and no longer has to hide it. Brilliant, warn and vivacious. She speaks as an expert in her field and also speaks as a transperson in her field. I am in awe of who she is, and I'm grateful to know her and call her friend. So if someone speaks negatively about a transperson or is disparaging about them I take personal offense, because you are speaking about my friend and as I mentioned before, I stand for my friends.
I've spent the last 10+ years of my life in the animal care industry, as to allow me to pursue my true passion, animal rescue. I have been part of the rescue and placement of 1000's of animals, mostly dogs. I've seen what can happen to an animal that is carelessly placed, and even one that was placed after deep background checks. It's not an exact science and even with our best intentions, we often fail. My personal love is with hospice animals, those dumped into shelters too old or sick to be saved. I believe that after an animal has given their entire life as a companion, they deserve dignity and love at the end, not a needle in a cold strange place the reeks of death. I'm not sensationalizing things, I have put countless hours in at municipal animal shelters over the years, I see "the room" and I've watched people drag dogs down that hallway to their deaths. You see, they know what is about to happen to them. So rather than let them die, I open my home and spend whatever meager funds I have at making them comfortable and love them until the very last moment of their lives. I shed tears over their body and reassure them that their lives meant something to me, even if to their lifelong owner it did not. By the same token, I have hugged and held hands with someone who's life is turned upside down, tried everything to right it, but they have to face the fact that a shelter is the only and final option they personally have for their pet. Shelters are not the enemy, human carelessness and lack of education and spay/neuter laws are the problem. 2 million animals die in American animal shelters annually. I've cried buckets over dogs I barely knew, and I've done so over blog posts here when you lose your beloved pets. My life changed drastically 6 months ago, which has nothing to do with my romantic interests and I was forced to rehome (through trusted rescues and friends) a few of my dogs. It was brutal and I'll never fully recover, but it was for the best and I know where each other them are and have access to updates whenever I desire. I would NEVER callously give an animal that I love to someone to chase tail.... not even for love.
After many years in animal rescue, I found that I hated people. I saw all the evil that people could inflict on innocent creatures and it was almost to the point where I couldn't look people in the eye. I'm introspective and recognized what was going on with me. I always considered myself a "people person" and losing love for people wasn't something I wanted. So I volunteered with a group that distributed goods to those in need, mostly those that were homeless. I met a woman who was living on the street with 3 children, she had been battered and had escaped. She was too scared to go into the system because she was afraid that she would be found by that person and killed. My gut check moment was when the littlest child was asked "Is there anything we can bring you next month?" Her reply was "A flashlight please". A flashlight, because it's scary and dark in the shelter or the streets where this tiny little girl was living. I was broken, as we all were. There is a happy ending to this story, as the lady who ran the Org did not give up on this family and managed to get them into an apartment. So capitalizing on the misfortune and desperation of others is not something I am ever going to tolerate. "Scheming" "Young, good looking" "I put in my ad, advertising free rent in exchange for cooking, cleaning and sex. ROFL. Yes, I did."... this is manipulative and solicitation. How desperate must someone be to use their body as currency for a "safe" place to sleep at night. Guess what, I've been homeless and hungry, I completely understand the compulsion. There is nothing kinky or sexy about this, and for those of you championing this person, I'm shocked and saddened. My hope is that the admins find that this is a lawsuit waiting to happen and remove this blog post. I tried to warn this person, albeit a tad bluntly that it's not ok and that was removed.... but the truth is scary and as of the writing of this blog, I'm done giving a shit, except for the poor woman who finds herself exchanging sexual favors for a roof over her head. I cherish this website and want to protect it and it's inhabitants as much as possible.
I want this place to be a place of acceptance to all.... but it MUST be a safe place. I may not like you as a person, but I'll keep that to myself as long as you aren't endangering others with your foolishness. Stay in the realms of consent. If you post your entire life, then you are open to criticism... I realize that myself and if it comes, it comes.... others need to accept that as well. This is a wonderful place and I found one of the great loves of my life here, and I constantly hope for others to do the same. I came here looking for community and found what completes my soul. Much love to your all... djinni
