As the universe continues to send odd things into my life, I realize I can simply persevere, cry, laugh…..I don’t know what god I’ve upset this time, I know it wasn't Poseidon…that was back in August! Maybe it’s a combination of Hecate, Loki, Perses, and I am sure there are many others, because this is simply not happening without some divine intervention.
The last straw today that made me want to stand in the middle of my backyard, naked and yelling to be struck by lightning was the stupid trash. It should not be difficult to take the trash down the hill to the garage and put inside the rubbish bin. It’s a basic simple thing, but what is ever basic and simple.
I live in an old home, that is in need of some TLC, just on the edge of being a money pit. However, I love the place. Field stone basements built in 1910 are not known to be mouse proof. No big deal set traps, fill in holes as they are discovered, put out poison, I got this. Everything is in bins, silverware is in properly organized in tackle boxes in kitchen drawers….
A few weeks ago I heard something hit a trap up in the attic, whatever it was did not stay in said trap, I heard it continue to run with a thump, thump, thump behind it. By the time I worked up the nerve, found my headlamp, shoes, and gloves to get into the attic whatever it was, was long gone, trap included. I simply set new traps and moved on with my life.
With the first snow fall, I’ve been winterizing, cleaning, and setting more traps. I stumble across a dead flying squirrel in a mouse trap. After what I heard a few weeks ago that makes sense. Put gloves on, pick it up and throw in trash. It’s a rodent, I don’t care, I just want it out of my house. Yes, I usually throw the dead rodents in the woods, but it looked gnarly and I didn't want to deal with it. So, into the bag it went.
My lovely cursed house sits up on a hill, it’s a bit muddy and a bit snowy, but not bad. As I’m walking down the hill There is something in the trash bag that is moving around and scares the shit out of me. I throw said bag, fall head over ass down the hill, and am now covered in a yard of dirt/mud/snow. People have literally stopped in their cars to watch me at this point.
There is no graceful way of redeeming myself from this. I just get up walk over to the bag, which has partially split open. Out comes a very pissed off flying squirrel with a trap attached to its leg…which I proceed to jump/scream/and fall again into the mud. I am actually shaking from this and need to walk around the yard, looking like a 5'1 monster from the black lagoon, talking out loud to myself to calm down. I eventually gather my wits and pick up the trash and throw it out.
If anyone sees a squirrel with a trap on its leg, I am to blame. I did not proceed to try to help said squirrel, it is on its own. It deserves whatever it gets. I can only imagine what those driving by are saying now! With everything else going on yet another item has been added to the to do list…check for rodent pulses!
