I remember years ago I was watching some stupid talk show and the topic was about how adult kids were still sponging off their parents. They weren't working they weren't going to school they just live with their parents and their parents allowed that. Plus our parents gave them a budget to live off of.
When one of the adult children was questioned about what he was doing I will never forget his answer. He said "I'm trying to find myself."
I remember stopping what I was doing and staring at the TV my mouth dropped open. I was working three jobs putting myself through school. And this a****** was going surfing everyday and that's what he called trying to find himself.
I think that the pursuit of trying to find the self is a noble and worthy pursuit.
But I also firmly believe that you cannot find yourself on the backs of others.
I also firmly believe that you cannot find yourself without living life intentionally.
So many people just ride the wave. They go from school to college to marriage to kids and there they are at 43 wondering what happened to their life and their choices.
I have often considered people in BDSM to be more intentional then or vanilla counterparts. I realize this is a bias on my part and in no way based in reality.
But I remember there have been certain times in my life where I seriously had to sit down and ask myself perhaps the hardest question of life " what do I want?"
Some things were obvious once the decisions were in front of me. I wanted to go to school and get a degree. I wanted to marry my love. I wanted horses. I wanted to own our own home.
And a lot of those came with secondary questions. What kind of marriage did I want? What kind of horse have I dreamed about? Where did I want to buy a home?
There are things that I've lived absolutely intentionally. Then there are things that I haven't. Things that I've just been blessed to have come into my life.
So now that I'm a lot older I think that life needs to be a combination of both. It needs to be spontaneous and intentional.
And the best thing that you can do for life is be present.
