~I can never resist a pun~
The Event: Rope workshop slash munch-type thing
Bondage - First encounter with shibari went really well. Self-tied/tied basic futo with mild success. Self-tied a "gravity boot" (more challenging) and was briefly/partially suspended (yessss please). Overall; life changing. (wrote an entire blog about this but it got deleted so..... here we are)
Reflection:
+ Am genuinely attracted to ropes for the art and the intimacy.
+ Felt beautiful, an exercise in self-love. Didn't expect it.
+ Catharsis: I felt it a bit later, even had a small mark for a bit (don't worry, I was supervised and it wasn't damaging). I felt like I'd earned it. Like I'd carry the feeling of it with me for awhile
+ Sub-space? Not quite..... More like a zen/self-awareness. Floaty as fuck, but not like my past experiences with a partner/self.
- Confidence and ambition to get to the workshop might have been.... dumb. Traveled at dark alone, didn't charge my battery enough so it died and I had a mild panic that I was lost (thank god for my compulsive directions checking earlier!!) Safe and Sane? NOPE! I had been planning and looking forward to this day for so long-- how had I thrown all caution out the window? I'd gradually become more comfortable getting out of my comfort zone.... but WTH, Ivy?!! It wasn't until I realized I was walking past a cemitery and I was worried the creepy old man and his dog were following me through the zombie-like neighborhoods that I realized how stupid I had been.
+ Will now think ahead about getting to and from events.
- Small group, didn't know anyone there. Definitely something I didn't care about before, and certainly in no one's control, but I felt very exposed after my "traumatic" journey.
+ I got more help from the lead rigger than I would have if the group had been larger.
- & + smaller number of people meant self-tying most of the time. I enjoyed being bound more than tying, it was fun, though! I am a perfectionist, to an annoying degree.
+ Later I started chatting with someone from the group. The interaction has been really nice.... I've needed closeness lately. I'ts been nice to talk to someone. People need to be with people as much as they need to be alone.
EXPRESSION:
Who knew
how unforgiving,
embracing,
nearer?
Entranced by my own flesh
it's curves
it's ripples
it's smudges
it's feel
under my own flesh
under
knots.
Suddenly my frayed,
matted crown
softens in pinkened light.
my lips
more sensual.
my curves
more smooth.
my lashes
blown wide,
seeking.
