MY Submissive Journey

5 years ago I wrote an email to my Dom (MaxSterne), stating I was hurt, confused and wanted some answers (He did give them ❤️).

But also in that email, I stated my LOVE for Him, that He was the ONLY ONE for me... My EVERYTHING 

(I attached a meme that said this...)

My Everything

You're my love, my life, the air that I breathe. You're my soul, my happiness, the ALL that I need.

You're my light, my dark, the stars in the sky. You're my ups, my downs, the reason I try.

You're my strength, my weakness, the love from the start. You're my heartache, my pain, the beat of my heart.

You're my tears, my joy, in the love that you bring. You're my world, my galaxy, You're my everything.

AND... 5 years later, those ups and downs, happiness and tears, heartache, pain, and hurt... He remained (and still does) My EVERYTHING... giving me JOY, Understanding, Guidance, Patience and Discipline when needed. BUT, above ALL THAT??? ...

He ALWAYS gives me a SAFE place to be WHO I am, to express my concerns, to verbalize my fears, to know that I am SAFE always! (He's made me feel the SAFEST I've ever been in my life).

Yes, we have LOTS of D/s, kinky fun times, but that's just icing on O/our multi-layerd cake that makes U/us..... Us!

I'm not one to have a "draft" post waiting to be published often. Usually when I have an urge to write something, I get those thoughts out and post (after approval from my Sir of course 😉). 

But (and I loathe that word), this one has been waiting for months and it's time to get it out of my "drafts" and on here. 😊

A few months back (early November) I was extremely dissatisfied in my job and felt that I had taken on way more than what I was being compensated for. I tend to give way too much of me to my employers, and it was taking a toll on me. This is when my Sir enters "Master" mode. Although He is firm (Sterne 😉) with the rule that my work and family/friends come first before any tasks/dynamic stuff, He will step in when He feels it's for my best interest. He will have a very open and transparent conversation with me stating His concerns and then set some limitations and/or goals for me. For instance, He set weekly goals for me to peruse job postings and to pick 3 in the week that interested me. I was then to send Him the postings and reasons why I was interested, and then apply to said jobs (with proof of submission). This to me is the epitome of what a Dom should do for their submissive. They are after all our leaders, and should be guiding us out of unhealthy situations and into much healthier and better ones (or at least put/lead us on the better path). Anyway, the very FIRST posting that I came across screamed out at me that "this is the ONE!" I immediately sent it to my Sir and He agreed and I applied. He still kept me accountable to find 2 more to apply for, and then the 3 each week thereafter.

Well, being the good girl I am, of course I followed the rules and searched, read, and picked my 3 choices each week. However, I never put in the effort (resume touch up, thorough cover letter etc.) for the others as I did for the first one. Well, my Sir knows me too well and called me out on it stating "You can't put all your eggs in one basket". So, I continued with more effort on the new posting selections, yet still having ALL my hopes on the FIRST, PERFECT, made for ME posting...

And then they contacted me, but it would be 2.5 months of grueling assessments, waiting periods, interviews, more waiting periods, reference checks, then MORE waiting periods.  Then, THE OFFER -Yippee 😁. Of course I negotiated, with my Sir's constant reminder of my worth, it gave me that courage. So even more waiting periods (good thing I'm patient), BUT (this is when I actually like the word), I got everything I asked for and then some! Above all? I got a 52% (yes, fifty-two percent) pay increase (I wasn't being paid horribly, just not what I am worth - thanks to my Sir for ensuring I knew my worth).

I start tomorrow🎉🥂🎉

Now, back to my AMAZING Sir. He encouraged me EVERY step of the way. Again, He reminded me of my worth constantly and reiterated daily how I deserved to be compensated for it. He never wavered from this. He still kept me accountable for looking elsewhere while I was going through the nuances of the interview process, however being so very encouraging as well. 

Now, I want to touch on His DaddyDom side. Oomph! Wowza! When Daddy steps in, it's a game changer... 

When realizing His girl was going through a few BIG life changes - new job, and then discovering that I might very well have to find a new place to live as well (landlord possibly selling house way earlier than expectd), He became the  AMAZING nurturing Daddy that He naturally is. HE expressed His need for me to focus on ME, HIS property, HIS girl. What does that mean? It means, He is always in control, always leading, guiding and encouraging me to the BEST version of me. He said He was going to dial back the "dynamic" aspect of O/our relationship, because He didn't want me being overwhelmed (my ❤️ gushes for this Man hourly).

Now don't get me wrong, there are rules and structures I have that will ALWAYS be in place, that I am required (by consent) to adhere to. But my Daddy constantly checks in. HE adjusts U/us, me, as He feels will be best for His girl! ❤️

Now I'm not saying everyone needs the relationship/ dynamic that I have - we are ALL DIFFERENT. I do however  recommend to the s types that you be with someone that you not only serve, but  one that will always step up, in, beside or in front of you at ALL AND ANY cost to ensure your safety, well being (physical and emotional) and happiness. (this too should apply to D's out there).

I feel I am truly blessed!!! Every.Single.Day.

Thank you Sir -

my Daddy

my Owner

my Master

for ALL that You are and give me! And especially for having me as Yours. ❤️💋❤️💋❤️

Those who know me, know I LOVE to dance...

BUT this guy???

I am in AWE 😍❤️😍

My Sir sent this to me and I thought I would share with you. . . it's worth the WHOLE watch

Horses have always amazed me, now even more so! It's called Dressage!

Wishing you all a great day and remember to dance like no one (or everyone) is watching 💃🕺❤️

It's been so long since I've participated in a challenge, and what an awesome challenge it is, B&C, thank you!

Click HERE to see challenge. 

❤️❤️❤️

I don't have a lot of good childhood memories, but the one I do have is playing Hide n Seek. It was an absolute favourite of mine and I would play it as often as possible, pestering anyone around to play it with me. 

My Daddy and I can get real silly at times. Saturday, W/we literally spent 12 hours discussing and laughing hysterically at some YouTube videos we were watching. We would compare notes and see who caught what and when and then repeat the funniest moments. It was soooo much fun! ❤️

Yesterday, we were on the phone and Daddy said "I think My girl is hiding some things". I started to giggle (a tell tale sign I am). 😉 . So, He preceded to say "You know your Daddy is real good at Hide n Seek and I'll find them and seek them out!". Well, He REALLY IS good at Hide n Seek, because He not only found what I was hiding, but sought out even MORE!!!! (tricky Daddy 😉).

Then, after ALL was sought and found, I screamed "Encore Daddy, there's Encores!" He chuckled and said "enjoy the encores My sweet girl"... and so I did. ☺️

I love many MANY different things about my Daddy, but those fun, silly little things W/we do? I literally BURST with excitement and joy. It's like being on cloud nine! 

Morley 

❤️❤️❤️

He asks me EVERY day "how I am... "

I answer... I am grateful for You Sir.

He asks AGAIN, how are you?

I answer... 

I am happy, I am fulfilled by You!

that's how I am, Sir!

He says: BUT, that's not what I asked... " I'll ask again, HOW ARE YOU?"

I then realize what He's actually asking... and I reply...

I AM LOVED... I am ADORED, and above ALL, I AM HAPPY to be OWNED by YOU!

He says: Good Girl!

I say.."Thank You Daddy, especially for having me as Yours"

Thats why He's EVERYTHING to me  ❤️💋❤️

But with this abnormal warm winter weather we're having in my area, there's a lack of "rosy cheeks" or so I thought!!! 😂

My Sir has expectations of me, just like any Dom has of their sub. Our mutually agreed upon rules, tasks, etc. must be adhered to. Yet, sometimes I veer off thinking... He'll never know! OH why oh why do I EVER think such a thing? Geez! Silly me!

Don't get me wrong, yes W/we have our "rules/structure", but none are set in stone other than "I must communicate with Him in how I'm feeling, "check in" always, just in case I'm not able to adhere to those rules/tasks etc. But sometimes I, like ANY other human being, try to push, go around, or down right avoid rules in hopes we'll get away with it. 😈

BUT, My Sir is too quick for me to ever think such a thing... and that is why I feel there's such a thing called "funishments" in O/our lifestyle. 😈

Most Doms I feel (hope) would agree with me when I say: There's NO punishment a Dom can bestow upon their sub worse than that in which their sub will do to themselves when they feel they've disappointed/let down their Dom 😔. (My Daddy knows this of me all too well! ❤️)

Anyway, today I went into the office even though we're officially closed for the holidays - my job requires that (or better, I'm too loyal). Back to rules... One of my rules is to ALWAYS have "His little bag of toys" with me at ALL times. Today, being in holiday mode, I forgot to fill (take) "His little bag of toys" after cleaning them. And, to my dismay, He of course called when I got to the office saying "Now get My bag of toys sweet slave"...my heart SANK! 💔

"Master, Your slave didn't bring Your bag of toys. I'm so sorry". i replied! His response "You do what you need to do there and call Master as soon as you get home. Be sure to get yourself comfortable. We will "discuss" your forgetting My toys today. 💖😈💖"

Oh golly geez! My head was spinning, but knowing I couldn't loophole out of this one, I quickly replied "Yes, Daddy".

Well, I got home and obviously did as I was told and called Master. He ordered me to get some stuff together (His toys) and get into "position" with an order that every count He did, to smack this ass of His and say "Master, I will never forget Your toys again". (this went on for many counts)

Well, needless to say... this Canadian girl got some REAL rosy cheeks after all. 😊😈❤️

But, as mentioned above, my Daddy NEVER gives true punishments... nor does His Master side... they're ALL funishments, and, oh what FUN they are! 😁😈❤️

(better believe His little bag of toys is fully stocked and is going with me EVERYWHERE from here and now on... or are they? 🤔😜🤣😂😈)

Wow, the past six months have been crazy. I was working two jobs (the 2nd as a favour helping someone start their business), which ended up in me working atrocious hours and weekends. My Sir stepped in, as a good caring and "sterne" Dom should, to take control and have me slow down.

I ended the 2nd job a couple of months ago because my regular job laid off 10 people (of 30). I picked up more responsibility from high level executive positions, but with no reward or "promotion". So again, my Sir stepped in and has tasked me to start looking elsewhere. He will not tolerate His girl being unhappy (or used) in such an important area of my life.

I am soooo grateful for Him and that W/we are back together -  W/we just celebrated O/our one year anniversary a couple of weeks ago. For those of you who don't  know U/us, we have been on and off for over 4 years now. However, this time around W/we're closer, deeper and more committed than ever. W/we've learned and grown in many ways, and continue to grow individually, and as a couple! He is my EVERYTHING and I feel like I am the happiest, luckiest girl in the world. ♥️

W/we often joke around about many things, but one of my favourites is when He says "I'm not a sadist" and I giggle because I know His sadistic ways all too well and ohhhh how I both LOVE and hate them. I read a blog recently about orgasm control that I mentioned to Sir (this is one of His favourite controls) and He decided He would have some FUN with His girl. So, He played with His sex toy for about an hour, bringing me to the edge OVER AND OVER, never permitting me to cum. When He felt He had me right where He wanted (me begging and crying and begging again) He said: "Now go put your clothes back on, log into the Cage and go comment on that blog!!!"  I was thinking, OMFG, WHAT???! While in this state I'm "HIGH and FLYING" and usually can't speak proper words let alone write them lol. But, I am His good girl and do as I am told.  (yeah, my Sir may not be a sadist, but His girl experiences His "sadistic ways" many times over...... AND I WOULDN'T HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY )♥️

Of course, after, I was rewarded again, and again and again... 😉🙈😈

==========

Thank You, Sir, for ALWAYS being there for me through the good times, busy times and hard times.... and thank You especially for the amazing (sometimes sadistic) PLAY times! 💋♥️😈

Morley

Wow, it's been a Hot minute and a half since I last wrote. 

My Sir and I have been sooo busy with E/each other, where we used to BLOG here, often, and don't so much anymore. That's because W/we kinda "blog" to each other now! 😉😅

What does that mean?

W/we:

Talk daily (Phone, messages, emails etc. ALL day/night long)

We meet in person as much as possible (waiting for the next trip 🙂)

What makes U/us good now/again? Is communication... through and through!

My Sir wrote His blog HERE, many years ago, and I couldnt be more happier than I am today!

Communication...  LOVE, understanding, transparency and forgiveness is what REALLY matters!

Thank You, Sir,  for being my rock and security blanket. For loving me the way You do... for ALWAYS being there for me!

I am Yours, and a reflection of You, and I only hope I make You as proud to OWN me, as I feel proud to be owned by You!

❤️💋❤️

It's been a hot minute since I wrote last. My Sir and I have been busy with each other and focusing on O/our dynamic and moving more into full Power Exchange. 

For those of you who have an LDR (dynamic), you know how difficult it can be when you often can't spend in-person time together. It's especially difficult when aiming for full power exchange. However, my Sir is always finding ways to implement structure, routine, rules and accountability (both for Him and I). W/we have discovered an amazing app that W/we are really enjoying and it is helping to bridge the gap of long distance and my Sir really likes how He controls the rules, tasks, rewards and punishments. I am able to put in tasks, but that's it. He seems quite pleased with the app and me, especially with how I am responding to my rules, tasks etc. (every submissive knows the BEST feeling in the world is pleasing our Dominants). 

Anyway, one of my "special tasks" was to do a self tie Chest Harness and wear it while I was out and about during the weekend, sending verification pictures/videos to my Sir. Well, there was a big storm coming on Friday night and they said it was going to be the worst of the season, which meant it was going to be a whopper. So, my Sir always making sure His girl is safe in all ways, He removed the task, because He didn't want His girl out and about in that storm. Luckily, it was just through Friday night, although we got 35+ cm of snow. ❄️ ⛄️. Saturday was a beautiful sunny day, so I messaged my Sir to ask if He would put back the task. He immediately called me to discuss in length that my safety is the most important, and I had to show Him the streets were safe to travel on. Once my Sir was convinced it was safe to travel, He issued back my task (YAY). ☺️

I did the tie and showed my Sir (I used Jute rope because I love the "scratchy" feel). He was very pleased (again YAY), especially how I safely tied and it was not too tight. I got dressed and then sent Him more pictures. He noticed (of course because He is always soooooo perceptive) that the V neck of the rope was visible. We then had the conversation of how I was to respond if asked by anyone about it, and then to inform Sir.  

So, I left the house and went about doing my errands, feeling the entire time my Harness. It was an amazing feeling and I felt extremely connected to my Sir. While checking in with Him, He noted the same, the connection He felt. It was like we were together in-person. I had stopped for lunch and while waiting for my food, my server asked me about the visible part of the rope. I explained to her as my Sir instructed me to do so... 

"My BF and I have a LDR and He is ALWAYS coming up with ways and things to bring us closer together when we're apart. This is one of them. I wear this feeling Him close to me, reminding me He is always with me, regardless if in-person or not".

She seemed to be quite curious to know more, but my Sir instructed me to not divulge any more information, so of course I didn't. I did see her look over at me a few more times, like her wheels were spinning. Then a guy at the bar called her over and i heard him ask her what my rope was. She said "it's something very special and deep between her and her guy". She definitely got it and now I wonder if when she went home she looked up "rope ties"? lol.

The rest of the day I felt my Sir with me, wrapped around me, and the feeling of that closeness was absolutely amazing. ❤️

My Sir tasked me to share this experience with you all and I hope some of you found it informational. And if you too are in a LDR and find struggles of how to stay connected on a deep level? I highly recommend giving or talking about tasks such as this one with each other and implement them into your dynamic. 

As always, PLAY SAFE and stay Kinky 😈❤️😈

Morley