1 week ago. Mon 10 Jun 2019 04:07:24 AM IDT
So I sit here tonight after what seems like a whirl wind of a week, a rollercoaster week would be an HUGE understatement... It was a full blown Tsunami, Category 5 Hurricane, F5 Tornado and an Earthquake 10 on the Richter scale.... An exaggeration? Yes, definitely, but very much felt like it.
My "life" seemed to crash and crash hard at many times this week: worry for my pup (Mistress Halle), worry for others, my job, worries of me. Insecurities and demons within took me hard and triggers going off like that of a mine field.
So what a week (is that all it's been?) Because it certainly feels like a lifetime, and I feel in a way it has been... Hence the Blog Title "a Rebirth"
I have been through a journey, as most do, trying to find my way, stumbling, falling flat on my face and fucking up LARGE, getting hurt and also hurting others. It's been a journey of learning, accepting, making mistakes and trying new things. It's scary as fuck... And amazing too, it's heartbreaking, but also exhilarating (see full blown storms).
So tonight, as I recollect my Journey, I am so very thankful for the friends I have met along the way, the experiences I have gone through (some great, some horrible and some, well just mediocre - such is life though).
So from me, (the unveiled) Morley; raw, open, no longer running, always honest, truthful, and loving... I thank you ALL that have been part of my journey. I also apologize if I hurt any of you while going through my Journey. I always say, I am the most caring, loving, honest and genuine (even as a chameleon) person you'll ever meet. But, I fuck up, I am human and do not have half the answers let alone all of them. But what I can say is, if I did hurt you, it was never intentional, however, I can understand why some hurt, and believe me, my heart hurts for you too!
So, back to this week, I had some great breakthroughs, which were hard, actually devastating in the moment...and the aftermath of any "storm" is the telling... So much to clean up and so much to fix and "rebuild". The beauty in the ugliness of the aftermath, is coming together, and ending up stronger. There are two very important people in my life and I love them with all I am.
Yesterday, I was asked "Why him (my Max) ? Without needing to think I immediately replied "I had no choice in the matter. He was the piece of my puzzle that was always missing. He completes me and my soul is whole... completely whole". That's the truth.
So, I look forward to my tomorrow's now, even as scary as hell they may be... I know I have the support and love with guidance and patience of some absolutely wonderful people, one in particular, my Daddy, my Max, my Friend, my Owner, my Love.
So, will end with this: with ALL my heart I wish you ALL the best and remember, we all go through tough times, we get hurt, we hurt others, but it's what we take away from it and how we go and move forward with that knowledge.
Much love, peace and strength to you all!
Morley, the rebirth