i woke up with tears in my eyes today every day I flip on Facebook quick and the memories from these days several years ago grow better good great to instantly a swirling storm of the worst shit anyone could ever wish upon someone only problem is my beds cold I’m alone besides the cage notifications I have no messages never really do I try calling a few old friends like suggested and people never answer last night alone the only person in this city who I thought had my back completely turned and took off only person I call family feels like razor blades fixed tied to a blanket cage it’s freezing out so I bundle up aware of the danger but trying to survive I ignore the pain happy to feel some sense of comfort Instead of rain I fell toxic yellow cut thousands of times bleeding mellow yet I reach again for familiar sensation any sense of comfort standing ovations some sense of reason but fall is not my season ended summers of most care free days simple pleasures stress was razed simply by sunbeam rays eyes gleam in silence emotional violence but calm I stay show pain only private ways open up honestly black they take it in and reject it back it’s my issues not yours unrealistic expectations unattainable levels floors and sections hope can flash but only for a moment I try hold on to myself a one winged hornet mad at the world unable to fly for those we hold dear we fail and forever try even through stained glass windows shattered rainbows of glass fall around me clatter anything makes me panic if it’s about you pitter patter those comforting blankets of blades rest always around me and if I was a lesser man I would continue to rage but after so much I can only say when u lose it all can’t afford to pay this toll life placed on me everyday yet these tears roll even more these days instead of less darkness just give me more rays something that shines brings friendship and loving ways because after so long I keep telling myself it ends the same every time only constant is me so these issues and faults are mine so I dry my eyes of pain and whys steel myself for deceit and lies realize some have none no shoes no feet we’ve all been scum but it’s how i ramble this ones done
Being alone for so long and fighting others battles for people that never cared in the first place actions speak louder than words I just can’t take another hit cause I don’t think I will make it this time so fuck the cover yell at the sky real pain and lies post traumatic episodes I diagnose bi polar and others bro trying just to like myself but once I was a con now I’m nice grew a concence try do things right but what glitters is not gold as I fight to stand gasp and hold reaching again a slow death but one I know
