So I'm sitting here waiting to continue to work for the last time today, and it hits me right in the face. I think I'm in sub drop, which is weird cause we havnt done a scene since our anniversary in February.
Quick background: my Master is an over the road truck driver. He was home for almost 2 years to work injury and just went back on the road last year in September. He's been home off and on about 7 times since then, with most recent he left out 2 days ago.
Back to sub drop: Master was home for a week because we had the last court date to finalize him adopting my younger son. I was definitely on a high between the adoption and just having him home again. I was even on a role with a new workout program... Monday night I started feeling down. Yesterday it got worse when a deer hit my car in the morning. Last night was soooo terrible. Between yesterday and today I've felt so stupid tired(even a bit more than I have off and on since he went back to trucking in September).
Now, not only am I feeling tired but also feeling numb and most definitely longing for my Master to curl up to. The worst part of all this is I won't see him again for like 2 more months. At that point he'll be home to help us move south(omg can't wait to say bye-bye to snow!).
So why do I feel it's sub drop vs deprssion? Honestly, because of how much I'm wishing to be cuddled and such. I've been depressed and have had a few issues with it since he went back on the road. This is definitely different. It's not really a "don't wanna do anything" like normal depression for me. It's craving that touch and reassurance that Master gives me after every scene and that need to feel so calm and protected that I get from him too.
I don't know if anyone else has experienced sub drop without a scene... But I swear, that's exactly what's going on with me right now... I don't see this ending well😞 I definitely see LOTS of phone calls to my Master in the very near future...
