...but I make no promises, my lovelies.
Where have I been? Popping in and out.
I’m in the process of making ENORMOUS changes in my life; both, internal and external.
It all started when the water heater shit itself. This was the stone in the pond that set about causing all of my ripples.
Some of you may know that for the past 5 years, I was living with a vanilla boyfriend; or rather, HE was living with me. I blogged about him... I can’t remember any specific blog entry titles but I’ll provide a short summary.
Vanilla is an alcoholic with severe social anxiety. I was supporting and enabling him. I will say that he made a wonderful house spouse, at times... but he wasn’t getting any better and I lost my romantic feelings for him for many reasons that I am not going to talk about in this blog. The bottom line was that I needed to get him out of my life. For both our sakes.
So... rewind to the water heater. We had no hot water. This went on a while. We also had several inches of standing water in the basement where the washer and dryer were. Couldn’t wash clothes.... couldn’t do dishes without boiling water.
Now that I’ve mentioned dishes this makes me rethink the catalyst. I lost my sister in March. She was the only other woman in my house and her little, loud, OCD self... kept that house so clean. Aside from my sister living there... there were (are) four other men. Or boys, depending on how you want to view them.
Vanilla and my brother in law, were the only ones home all day. My brother in law could not do much. He is a disabled vet. That left Vanilla doing most the house work. This was fine except when he got ahold of alcohol. Unfortunately, with the addition of the 4th guy in the house, much spirited drink was also added. I tried to keep up. But I was cleaning up after 4 grown men. AND working full time on night shift.
Sadly, my landlord was NOT moving to fix the hot water in any rushed sort of way. The total time was about 2 months.
Meanwhile... my son gets kicked out and has no where to go. I wanted to help him but the “boys” in the house, did not like my son. They all agreed that my son could stay until he works out some other arrangement. He even stayed in the shed. After a week, he was told by the landlord’s nephew, one of the boys, that he had to get out in a day or two.
This made mama bear surface.
I had been patient with the hot water thing ... far more patient than any normal person. I took a leap of faith. I just wasn’t going to pay rent, and I was going to find a place to live with my son. I told Vanilla that he could join us as long as he had my back and supported me and let go of his feelings about my son. He seemed on board, until one night after drinking quite a bit... he looked at me and said “I don’t want to leave here” . I felt my heart leap. I thought.. it’s happening. This relationship is about to be over.
He wanted me to consult him first before I made a big decision like that. He also wanted to talk while drunk. I’m sorry but that’s a hard limit for me. If you are going to argue... you best make it rational.. otherwise, I’m walking away and you are going to stew in your fermented juices.
He gave me an ultimatum. Either I talk to him or it’s over... Can you guess what I chose?
So I moved into the basement of a friend’s house and it’s a good distance away. I also acquired a new job that is much closer.
Im much happier now.
I plan on revisiting my relationship with Vanilla, very soon.
I apologize for not being around. I usually prefer the word “apologize” instead of “sorry” .. I feel that saying “I’m sorry” is negative self talk.
