Irrational fears...
Do you have those moments when something happens and it brings up a fear that is unfounded by the person or by the circumstances that your currently in?
I have moments with Daddy that fears arise due to something he says or an emotion he is having...and the fear that arises within me is a deep fear of disapproval or the fear of him leaving. Now he has never given me an kind of reason to believe that he would do this. He has never once given me any kind of hint that he would even have one foot out the door. This is all my head messing with me.
These fears frustrate and hurt my Daddy because he thinks I’m punishing him for others actions towards me. And that is not what I want...I never want to hurt him or make him frustrated. I struggle with my own demons on fears of rejection... And the thought of not being the absolute best at everything for him petrifies me.
I think some of it is a fear of losing the best thing that’s ever happened to me...due to my deep seeded belief that I’m not good enough. No matter how much I know and tell myself that I am worth it...during times of stress those thoughts still pop up...and I freeze.
Daddy talks me through it...but I know it frustrates him. I’m hoping that at some point this will stop...because it’s extremely frustrating for me too.
Until tomorrow...
