I’ve been reading blogs for over a year now. I kinda long for that little purple blinky light to tell me “hey” a person is trying to talk to you. Idk. Maybe having a little moment or a lonely moment. I’m supposed to be painting my bedroom right now and somehow I ended up reading on here again so .... maybe if has any flirt in them today hit me up. Might be fun 🤗
1. Country boy on the daily.
2. Feirce protector that leads
3. tough, gritty, ruggedly handsome
4. Can tie me up and make me squirt at night. ✅
Still living in fantasy land. Husband that thinks it’s weird. Married me with no options and an imagination that is endless. Not to mention that need to feel sexually controlled. Just venting. Thanks for listening. 😔
nrw animation app Unfortunately it won’t let me upload where I get the angels wings to fly update tech where are you
The weather is perfect today! I’m pacing around looking for anything to tidy in anticipation of his arrival. I’m so nervous. Our mutual best friend will be accompanying him so I don’t know why I’m so jittery. Tiny, as we call our ridiculously tall friend, has always been our buffer but this time its different. This time Im married. Happily married. This is like like seeing your high school sweetheart at your class reunion, you don’t know what to expect. So much time has gone by it seems like a lifetime ago or really I guess it has been.
In the interest of our Tiny Peter and I talk frequently. When our mutual friend lived on my side of the state I cared for his doctors needs, insurance needs, spiritual advisor needs. After Tiny’s house burned to ashes last year he was left homeless and moved across the state to live with Peter who is my Ex. Now he has taken over helping our dear senior friend and for this reason our communication is necessary, or so we tell ourselves.
You see Tiny is responsible for our meeting and for that reason our bond with him turned maternal/paternal. We at some unknown point decided His failures and success’s as a human being were our responsibility. I believe this to be a testament of Peter and i’s connection. Tiny is different, old school to the max, a reject by normal standards and yet we both love him for the simplicity he brings to our lives. He reminds us not to run the rat race for the sake of worldly possessions. He is a great example of how to be humble and the reason this millennial can drive a stick shift. These two guys impacted my life immensely and I’m forever grateful and also still in love admittedly.
Peter is also a simple man but is a creative, ambition, talented and respectable individual. Additionally, Peter has a dark side. A dark side I very much used to enjoy and one we don’t dare emerge in these days. It as many of us know is a hard thing to find the person in this world that can enjoy the darkest parts of life but not exist there. Life is all about balance in my opinion and he seemed to balance the scales of light and dark with great skill as I remember.
“Oh Lord”, that’s not a thought road I should be going down right now. Finally I sit down and open Facebook to pass the time and ease the anxiety. Sure enough they arrive just as I start to finally forget their coming. I promised Peter I would let his son experience horseback riding someday and their trip to my neck of the woods for a visit with Tiny’s brother provided the opportunity.
I greet them in the driveway, patients was not a virtue I had at this moment. Somehow his familiar swagger was apparent as he got out of the Jeep or maybe that’s just in my head. He said hello under his breath, which struck me funny, like he was nervous too. Italians don’t get nervous,lol, do they?
When Tiny got out of the passenger seat I focused on greeting him which eased my hypertension. Peter helped his preteen out of the back of the Jeep and Timy proceeds to my porch. I considered stopping him. I planned to stick mainly in the barn hoping my husband would write off our company as just another trial ride, I entertain my guests that way often. However I don’t argue with seniors, especially Tiny so to the porch we go.
As we all sat down I knew immediately that silence would make me feel awkward, so I instantly rose again and brought the nearest fluffy barn cat to entertain the child and of course knew the child would entertain us. If the situation were a little less weird I might have food to offer. At least If we are stuffing our faces we don’t have to talk. His eyes on me and my terrible urge to stare makes me wish this was a phone call. I wouldn’t feel so awkward if he wasn’t right in front of me, watching my every move, every facial expression.
The kitten was quickly becoming boring and just as I was considering ushering off to the barn my husband opens the door to the porch. “Shit”, I say out loud. Fuck, I said that out loud I realize. My husband greets Tiny and I give Peter my behave look. Peter surprises me and rises from his chair to shake my husbands hand, saving me the introduction. Thank god. I don’t ever recall bringing up Peters name but saying it out loud to him feels dirty in all the wrong ways.
I can see this act of alliance has my husband unaware. At this point I’m convinced that my only job is to not carry on conversation or banter as if Peter and I are old friends, which is typically how we communicate.
Now a surprise from Tiny has me on my toes. “Take me and little Pete to meet the horses.” Me and little Pete, OMG these two have a premeditated plan, my anxiety returns, but again no arguments with seniors. This time I look at Peter with fear in my eyes. Please don’t kill em I plead on my head. He smiles devilishly. Fuck! I remember suddenly that I prepared for a possible nuclear situation and walk out to my truck to grab the case of Corona. I set it on the porch and flash a small devilish look of my own knowing they both prefer Corona and for what it’s worth they are both Leo’s too, lol.
After a few pettings of the smaller horses Peter joins us in the barn. “Where’s your buddy?”, I joke with a straight face. Peter doesn’t give his confidence laugh, but instead says blankly that he went inside. “Which horse am I riding”? “Sir, I don’t think you know what you’re getting yourself into!” “Please, he smirks confidently. “. I actually start to consider which horse will suit his body type. He’s Shorter than Tiny but almost 6’ himself. The tallest horse here belongs to my husband and it’s really the only one suitable. I feel bad for knowing my husband would feel betrayed by this for a moment, but it’s just unrealistic to put him on the others. So I point to the large paint horse out in the pasture and hand him a lead rope. “Go get your pony”, lol. It’s a challenging statement in response to his overconfident smirk from before. This horses height alone makes him intimidating and Peter has never ridden a horse before. Me 3, Peter 0. I smile wide at him and with that he heads towards the gate.
I give them both a short lesson on tacking up. People generally like to know how it works but it takes some practice to do it safely.
Without my go ahead he mounts the horse fluently. Hmmm, unexpected, but kinda hot. I help his son get on his dead broke horse and I mount my horse. I lead them towards the woods. Its warm out and the sun shines on us through the bright colored leaves. Theres a warm glow that illuminates the trail ahead. I hang behind them to supervise the horse and riders behavior for safety reasons and I notice them both taking in the beauty of the moment. Being able to give them this moment puts me in a state of nostalgia and “what if’s” creep into my mind. I make the ride last. His son was doing very well. Peter was rockin it. He always had good instincts and reflexes. “So you’re pretty good at that for a green horn”, he knows I’m being playful and comes back with a charming smile. “I’ve watched John Wayne baby”. I laugh out load then think O boy there’s a word that could or could not have implications. Never mind, I think, just be present. “Sometimes it’s fun to have a few drinks and do this. Balancing yourself can be interesting enough let alone telling the horse where to go.” “O ya?” He seems intrigued. “Also if you fall off the impact with ground isn’t nearly as painful”. He laughs out load. I cough, “until tomorrow”. We both laugh. Why didn’t we make it Together i think. We can feel so synced sometimes.
We come up on the Feild. The corn still stands, now yellow and dry. Over due to be cut. I’ve seen this sunset, over this Feild a thousand times at least. Today it was more than just it’s usual fine, it was soul enriching. However, as usual all things must come to and end and we take the road back to the house before we loose light. It’s a much shorter ride. Tiny and my husband are on the porch waiting for us. “How’d it go? Tiny yells out. “It was fine” I yell back. Everything will be fine!😬
Too be continued....
I wasn’t at all accustomed to the city. As he held my hand he set the pace. My little legs and feet would have to skip every so many steps to keep up, but I didn’t mind I was enthusiastic. He set a precedent early on that where ever he took me fun ensued.
Everything here seemed to want my attention. I could have spent days exploring one block. My country roots set no time management rules, so it was a bit frustrating. It felt like we were taking forever to get where we were going when we passed up so much interesting. I would make small gestures that signified my desire to explore an establishment. “No you have to stay with me, vegas is no place to wander.” In that moment my posture changed. I quit pulling back against his grasp of my hand and my will became transferred without hesitation or resentment.
An unavoidable patch of the city ahead was lighting the sky for a mile and blocking out the stars. Beautiful music sang us too it as we crossed the busy intersection. As we approached more traffic came circling around that we had to wait for.
As we finally got past a giant glass building I saw the fountains. A light show and and the music timed perfectly to its beat. I gave him the look of intrepidation once more. His eyes and smile gave me permission, But he didn’t let go of my hand and calmly walked me to a better view. Despite my hurried mind I got to take in this marvel one step at a time. I’m appreciative of his patient swagger, but I can also now understand why these people live in a rat race world. So much to see so little time.
He positioned us right in the middle of the railings that surrounded the fountain lagoon. “I brought you something”. Out of his pocket he shows me a pretty nice looking camera. He couldn’t have chosen a better way to say I love you than to give me a way to make this moment here permanent. “ It’s one of those newer ones that you don’t have to develop the film. You just plug into your computer and you can put the pictures into programs or print them off.” I’m actually awfully impressed with his technology enthusiasm and knowledge considering our age difference is almost a decade and a half. It makes me pause to look at him adoringly before I decide to snag the nearest stranger to take a picture of us. For the next hour I snap away. Spinning in a euphoria of stimulus. He tells me about the sites he’s seen before. It’s incredible the way he knows his way around. It’s like he’s been everywhere and it’s a comfort to know that what I do not know he will.
“You ready to eat?” The question all of a sudden made me aware I even had a stomach again. “Yes sir, I guess I am hungry”.
“I figured you would be”. He had a a bit of a devilish grin when he said it. I smiled and unintentionally blushed. He didn’t take my hand this time instead I followed at pace and never let him leave my peripheral vision. Nothing else seemed that interesting anymore!
Yet again however I underestimated his ability to catch me off guard. We walked into the large, convex, glass hotel directly behind the fountains. The foyer was impressive. Marble walls and floors of the entrance continued into a ballroom like space. The lighting was breath taking and real foliage surrounded the room. There was only one table though. The realization made me turn red. I couldn’t look at him. My status as a human being on the poorer end of the scale was never more heavy. I started to shake on the inside.
He didn’t allow for my panic to engulf me. Rather he took my hand again and led me to my chair at the table. My chair being pulled out all of a sudden felt different. He does it regularly but I felt less guarded and more feminine. Only flowers and silverware garnished the table. I almost expected more forks since this seemed like a classier outfit.
Dinner came and went. It was a lighter meal, however it was bursting with flavor. I’m used to large home cooked heavy meals and this left me just a little wanting. Though a relief came in knowing I wasn’t over fed and feeling like a nap.
After our plates were
Cleared he rose from his chair and came beside me with arm outstretched. At first I assumed we were leaving but then a piano
Melody began. He swept me close to his sturdy stance and began to lead me once more. I didn’t know how to dance, but somehow he didn’t let that stop us. At first I tried to anticipate his leadership. It wasn’t pretty. I almost tripped myself. With each miss step he would catch my fall and lead us into the next step. After only a short time It was unbelievably fairytale like the way we enveloped the hardwood floors. This is real life and how can this be happening to me I am so lucky to know this brilliant soul. We danced a little while longer and when we finally came to a stop I wanted to follow him anywhere. Anytime, Anyday, anywhere!! My mental capacity for excitement was waning. He does this too me. I loose myself in who he is and his unwavering lead. He is human but with a super power for epic ness. I pray for sleep tonight. He may decide to mix it up but my favorite epic act he does in the early morning. When we are
us, no alcohol no exhaustion. We wake up and glance into one another’s souls and can’t help but explore our attraction to each other’s quality.
To be continued...
When I feel things no one wants to know
this is where I go
when I say things no one wants to hear
this is where I go
when I could or some times actually do things no one wants to see
this is where I go
when I scare people into worry
this is where I go
im not scary here I say what I think no Matter the consequences because I feel it’s worth it if just one relates it worth it it means we r not alone