So this content comes with a warning. I am a recovered addict. Of most things anyway. I still keeps some hardcore addictions (I’m serious). Cigarettes and sugar. I’m a diabetic and I can’t quit sugar. It’s terrible. I’m allergic too sugar as well it makes me itch on my hands and feet. Very weird but yet I can’t stop. Anyway I tell you that to tell you this. I have found great therapy in being able to talk or even fantasize about my previous addictions to alcohol and cocaine. Now hallelujah I’m blessed to be free of those toxic substances. However there’s a catch to this processing of emotions towards drugs and alcohol. Like with everything I love I love it too much and that gets me into trouble. But I found that I can romanticize about it and make up fantasy after fantasy of ways I could/ would like to experience life with drugs. Why because after the fantasy ends so does the actual craving to go to crazy things in real life. So that’s essentially what kinky drug soaked tales are my therapy. Do not assume I still do these things. As I do NOT. It’s just a story. When I tell the stories I feel some sort of honesty come out of me that seems under important in my life right now. My truth in my journey to true sober freedom in bdsm. This is one of those stories dong dong!!
When we met I was a fireball for danger. I saw you at the bar of the casino. That was my favorite place at the casino too I thought. So I picked a seat opposite of him rather than beside. I wanted to catch his eye contact. He looked into his drink. Then shot it real fast and quickly. His handsome face got bartender attention immediately of course! But he was respectful to them. I was already jealous.
As usual I was trying to outrun my own trauma from years of mental abuse I felt like my time clock was ticking like I had stayed in a train to long and passed my stop hours or even days ago. I too looked into my drink wondering why it always ended up empty eventually.
Looking at him was inspiring. His movements were few and relaxed. Even on a barstool he looked tall. Taller than me! He had sandy colored hair that looked sweaty from a long day at work His boots told the same story. a large hood gathered around the back of his neck and his jawline was masculine and clinched whenever he wasn’t taking a sip of his drink
To my surprise he notices me right away I’m used to just floating around inserting myself in other people’s excitements but not this time. This time someone gave me direct eye contact. While look right at me I noticed his forehead and eyebrows where heavy with deep thought but his eyes connected with intention. He ordered another drink and then got up. Thinking my eye candy was leaving to my surprise he was coming over. Ok now I’m nervous. His presence in my orbit was a powerful one. His smell was intoxicating it was earthy and real. No aborcrombie and fitch about it! He began talking long before my ears caught on to the sound I snapped too and remembered his words like they were a dream. But he went on “are you down with going to the club?”
“The strip club?” I said , “ haven’t been there in awhile, sure!” I delightfully agreed to this change in venues completely claimed by his voice already. His energy was intense and his grin dangerous as he led me out of the casino. I wanted to drive. He wasn’t having it! He called an Uber for us to both get a ride to the club. That was thoughtdul and insightful I thought! It made me feel secure I suppose that he was feeling responsible despite his bad boy energy. I didn’t know where all his confidence came from until the middle of the next morning when I finally sat up in that hotel bed next to a real pretty stripper. Wow I hope I did not sleep with a stripper, again! Ug I slid my legs to the right and planned to stand up when I see a rose and a note on the night stand. Come down stairs for breakfast!
No name or nothing which I now fully realize I never asked!🫢 None the less how can I refuse such a beautifully made and direct order. So I flutter down stairs trying to answer questions about what occurred last night to myself. Nothing is there after we started doing lines off the strippers neck. She would hanger her delicate head off the stage and stretch her pretty neck out as mystery man lined her with that pretty white stuff Together we bonded across that girls neck. At times we would stroke her hair He put his fingers deep in her hair tight and pulled her neck back exposing it to me for my licking enjoyment. Our eye contact was intense without words. I remember us kissing her and us kissing. It was nirvana and like that nothing! Blackness! The memories stop. When the elevator opens to the first floor I smell the air to find the dining area. I follow it all the way to him there he is eating something. I’m instantly relieved. He stayed and he had a plate set across from him for me I guess We said little. It was a peaceful silence. Eventually though my curiosity got the best of me like it always does! So I asked him “what all happened after the club now?” His grin made it look like he just won a secret trophy. “Wouldnt you like to know” his confident voice challenging my sobriety and cognitive abilities at that time and he knew it. I shrugged. Almost blissfully unaware of my trip down sadist lane. I don’t want to know Lord knows I lose my religion sometimes! I better repent right away! But how?