I write "mindfuck" instead of mindfuck, as I don't doubt that there are people who really get excited and horny by the latter, a mental connection is necessary in any case, two people who are potential partners must be able to understand each other, I write "mindfuck" thinking of an another tendency. On BDSM sites there are profiles of people saying that "I don't say what I want, it's up to others to find out, because they have to fuck my mind before fucking my body". This is something obviously problematic, since you cannot really know what's going on inside an individual's mind and psyche even if they are people whom you have known personally and for a long time, sometimes not even inside you, let alone somebody whose existence the only reason you are aware of is because he/she has a profile somewhere. I do have a reservation for this, but my suspicion is that very often "mindfuck" is nothing but a cover story for people who actually simply do not wish to tell what they are looking for.
Coming now to the "feminist" type issue, I still remember vividly the first conversation I ever had with somebody about BDSM online several years ago. We were chatting and although we hardly had exchanged a few words, she asked me "how many subs have you had?". I explained that I hadn't known a person wanting the same things out of such a relationship as me among the people I have met in real life, that's why I had turned to the web, no reason to do that otherwise, and I was at the beginning of my search, hadn't yet met such a person in real life, let alone had a sub. We kept conversating for some time, as we had some similar interests outside BDSM, but in at least the first four times we chatted she made the same question. Our contact proved to be a dead end and was duly stopped, but some time later I noticed her posting on the website's forum (it was a Greek site) complaints about various guys she had had contact with and specific things which they had said to her during private conversations, plus publishing lists about what she didn't like about men in general, she was therefore a classic "feminist" type, although hardly a unique example, I mention her as being very characteristic.The interesting thing with this "feminist" was that just a short time previously, she had kept asking me how many subs I had in the past, obviously because that was exactly what she wanted to hear. I don't doubt that there are plenty of women who have had reasons for complaining about men, but one common complaint specifically regarding BDSM, is men "having lied about their level of experience". This obviously happens because that is what many women want to hear, and so many men, fearing rejection due to "lack of experience" oblige. Therefore there are many people, who simply wish to be deceived, consciously or unconsciously, and when they realize the truth, put the blame on somebody else. Although numbers vary from site to site, usually there is a men/women ratio of at least 5 to 1, something which can be very easily understood by women who undergo the little trouble of checking how many men are registered on such a site and how many women. Taking into account just how fewer women are, plus the fact that a very high percentage of them are nothing but scammers, looking only for money, it doesn't take a lot to figure out that when a man claims to have had dozens of subs serving him in the past, there is a very high probability that he is either exaggerating or simply lying.
In conclusion, the "here to learn", "mindfuck" and "feminist" approaches, either due to purpose, naivete or sheer stupidity, come down to one thing, those people taking no responsibility whatsoever for their own words and deeds, and particularly if something goes wrong, to be able to place all the blame on somebody else. They are always about somebody else, the "here to learn" type implying and often also declaring openly that it is the duty of the other members to "teach" him/her BDSM, the "mindfuck" type leaving everything to be guessed by others and the "feminist" type not taking any responsibility about what she wants as she doesn't express it in the first place. This is flatly wrong, as those people seem to forget that whenever somebody joins a website, regardless of subject matter, he/she first declares that is 18 years old and above, therefore an adult and legally fully responsible for his/her own actions.
