If you have surfed around other sites with bdsm undertones or overtones, you may have seen certain behaviours such as subs or slaves speaking in 3rd person, or subs or slaves addressing Dominants by titles. And then there is sitting kneeling and what i absolutely loath.....curtseys. some members of certain sites will insist that Dominants or Tops cap their names and subs and slaves and bottoms write their name in all lower case. i will share that everytime i see someone curtsey...i imagine i am holding a long 2x4 in my hands and then they execute that bend i slap them as hard as i can with said 2x4. thats just what my mind does. so if you dont mind me thinking and imagining that ...by all means curtsey as much as you like for me its entertainment.
but other behaviours are not quite so entertaining for all of us.
no this does not need to be a protocol room....but if some of you would like that...the rest of us would have no problem with you making a room and some might even join you.
so age play , animal play, anything that you find someone willing to do with you is great ...but make yourself a space for it so you have privacy.. feel free to invite anyone to your room that you think might enjoy it.
but lately there have been certain behaviours exhibited and im concerned it may give off the wrong idea. being friendly with someone in the room and teasing is fine but when it goes beyond and someone wants to jump to someones defence or protection that is a heads up.
and before i go any further. everyone needs to remember that some ppl will only ever have online relationships and for wanking thats fine and they are entitled to it. but dont give the impression that you are living stuff real life when you arent. it sets wrong examples. and new people can get the wrong impression or idea. as a community it would be best for us to help and educate one another but W/we all have to be mindful of the fact that some peeps are gonna be here to just take advantage of ppl.
and sometimes our lives can get the best of us...and when W/we are sitting at a keyboard it can be easy to release our frustrations out on our behaviour in the chat room. from time to time we all have a bad day here and there. but appearing to be manic and really going head strong day after day gives other new ppl a wrong example.
with my youngest childs graduation still very fresh in my mind i want to speak about being ready for a bdsm relationship.
to have a true bdsm relationship is amazing and it takes a lot of work. our society today teaches that we can have it all and the example is set to have everything all at once. all at the same time.
honestly being married, raising kids, working a job, going to school and then adding searching for a bdsm relationship ....can turn out to be a bit much. its not easy
as i watched my son walk across a stage today i was reminded strongly that now today He has His education, He has been working not one but 2 jobs. He gave up a relationship that was starting to get in the way of his appearance on that stage today. i was struck by the fact that He is managing what He can manage right now today for himself.
and i think that some of us just reach for way too much to do without being conscious of having priorities.
we need to have priorities. expecting someone else to come into our lives and clean up our messes is expecting a lot. and its not fair to the other person.
of course someone looking in ...from the outside can have the ability to help us with our rougher edges....but it makes sense for anyone searching for a solid relationship to be the very best they can be for that possible other person. get your education, get a job in your field, get established and then look to other things. have priorities.when i was home raising young children my priority was them and their educations and their well being. i put myself on hold but held my act together the best that i could. there is nothing wrong with having children but make them the priority while you have them home with you. For sure as a 30 something i could never have learned and experienced BDSM the way i have been able to at 50 something. it would not have filled my empty places then, the way it does now.
be realistic with yourself and with anyone else you try to include in your life.
if you have a chronic health issue that requires daily meds....be on your meds....being an adult means that you dont need to be harassed and hounded to take meds that you know will keep your body working for you.
if you have other personality habits that intrude upon your life ...dont expect someone else to come along and straighten it out. and if you do get lucky and someone does and is willing to undertake your issues....listen to them and work with them.
and by all means.....have great BDSM experiences ...and share them. learn about true BDSM and explore the world. its amazing. if you dont, or cant or wont......have a heart ....dont set an example that isnt a good example. dont mislead anyone.
by all means...for yourself ...have it your way...but dont lie to others and dont set bad examples.
