I have been doing some thinking over the weekend, also listening to podcasts on sexuality and society and just hanging out on here. Here are some thoughts that have been brewing in my mind..
We are all products of our experiences. Our experiences shape our perspectives on ourselves, others, how we interact with people and the world.
Experiences that may negatively impact us or experiences that leave positive impressions BOTH help to create the very unique and very beautiful people we are.
For me, I think there are many reasons why I landed here at the cage several months ago. I am a person who, for whatever reason, is innately drawn to submission. Thinking of the female gender roles in fairytales, television shows, and movies I was exposed to in my formative years. As I entered into adolescence, the gender roles were reinforced through music videos I watched, as many were a first glimpse into romance and sexuality.
Anyway, We all got here somehow, the reasons why really don’t matter. But what does matter is that it is something deeply engrained into who we are. Being submissive does not define who I am, it is a part to a whole, of who I am.
When I first joined here, I was not an active member. I felt like a total and complete outsider. I was unsure if I really identified as a submissive woman, if I was a “kinkster”, or if I was simply conjuring up fantasies i thought I would enjoy, but in reality shy away from. What I ended up learning over the past few months is that the unique people that this community represents are rather open and welcoming (so refreshing!!) eager to teach, share, and give sound advice when needed or asked. For me, the cage has unearthed a different version of myself, one that feels safe and not judged by others when sharing personal preferences and desires. The foundation of the site is based around safe, sane, and consensual choices, which encompasses ALL levels and styles of kink...a vast and varied spectrum that falls under the umbrella of ssc. I feel that the pillars of the community are the people, who in my experience, are very open, nonjudgmental and do not pigeon hole kink as they understand that kink is not a “one-size-fits-all” type of deal.
People who enjoy BDSM are a sexual minority. I know I don’t broadcast my unique desires when out and about, that’s why I came HERE! I needed an outlet, I needed to feel understood. There are still fantasies and desires that even here, I have not shared. My point here is that in this community I have seen a-lot of understanding and empathetic people who “get” each other on some level of acceptance, non-judgement and openness. I think communities such as this are meant to be safe, a refuge and place of openness so that we can continue to share, explore and evolve..and I think we need each other’s support in our choices and preferences (think ssc) in order to do that. When we have friends in our corner supporting us, the sky is the limit. 😉🙂💕
(photograph: Chip Willis, model: unknown.)
