What I wand to tell you, is about a basic Dominant,
Dominant, Sadist, Daddy,Top,Mistress
If you have Dominant feelings or thought your May and Can Call your
self this way from minute one.
But what makes a Dominant a Good Dominant?
Read this writing and Maybe it will help you find the right Dominant.
Choosing the Dominant that you want to serve is a serious decision. One that is taken far too lightly but in fact should not be. Making yourself mentally and physically vulnerable to the wrong person can have terrible repercussions. A genuine Dominant can produce a supportive relationship that will allow a submissive to feel safe enough to be their true self thus allowing for more intense experiences.
With that said, it only takes a submissive a very short period of time searching for a Dominant or weeding through the hundreds of horny email requests to realize of the many people claiming to be Dominant only a few truly are. Depending on who you speak with or what survey has been completed, the numbers can range between 1 real Dominant for every 10 – 1000 submissives. The numbers can also vary depending upon gender, orientation and BDSM interests. This means that you are going to come across more fakers than real Dominants in your search. Before you become frustrated and give up, here are some differences to watch for when you have just met someone claiming to be Dominant to help distinguish between the fakers and the real Deal.
STRANGER DANGER! Got your attention? Good. When you are finally ready to begin looking for a dominant, here are some warning signs that you are dealing with an amateur or someone who is just bad at being a dominant.
1) If the dominant uses phrases like “harem” or “stable”, you should probably avoid them. As a new submissive you need a dominant who can guide you through the process with their full attention. Also many fake dominants think this is an enticing way to lure in a submissive, “hey look at all these pets I have”.
2) Ask the dominant how many years they’ve been practicing. While yes it is true that everyone starts somewhere, a new submissive would benefit greatly from a seasoned dominant. Also you want to try and weed out the fakes. Personally I’ve always felt that there should be licenses for practicing dominants, given how dangerous they can be to a submissive’s mental and physical safety.
3) If the dominant in question isn’t interested in hearing what you’re looking for, RUN. Any dominant worth a grain of salt always tries to find out what their submissive is after in the relationship. Good dominants will set up a meet and greet before any domination actually takes place, where the two of you can discuss what you’re both looking for.
4) It’s okay if you don’t click with the first, second, or fifth dominant you meet. Don’t rush into a bad situation because you are eager to begin. Take your time and move slowly.
5) If a dominant is more interested in “getting off” than anything else, there is a very good chance they have no idea what they’re doing.
A Dom/sub relation schip is about the experience,the feeling,the trust in each other and not about the sex.
There are 24/7 BDSM Relationships for real,how are not even close to have sex with each other for years.
6) NEVER assume that just because the dominant is female that you are safer than you would be with a male dominant. Always take the same precautions!
7) If your dominant punishes you without explaining why, they are a bad and possibly dangerous dominant.
The above was from my own personal experience, now here are some from a submissive guide that I happen to agree with very strongly.
1) Are you afraid of your Dominant?
2) Do they threaten to leave or abandon you of you don’t submit?
3) Do they threaten violence if you don’t submit?
4) Does the Dominant give you expensive gifts to get you to do something you don’t honestly want to do?
5) Have you gained or lost a lot of weight while being with the Dominant? (this does not include intended weight loss or gain)
6) Do they make you feel guilty if you can’t or won’t do something?
7) Does the Dominant make you feel ugly and unwanted?
8) Have you ever felt like you have been raped after having sex with the Dominant?
9) Do they ignore your needs, such as medical treatment, food or clothing?
10) Have they ever questioned your loyalty when you question their behavior?
11) (Yup, I could keep going…) Does your Dominant ignore your limits or safe words?
Lastly you should look up the “dominant Test”. I cannot advocate this strongly enough!
Dominant Tests
Ask Questions: Ask questions about things you don’t know about BDSM and things you do know about BDSM. A good Dominant will be more than happy to answer any questions you may have. A bad or fake Dominant will refuse to answer questions, or explain that they shouldn’t have to answer questions. This also goes for asking questions about the Dominant’s personal life.
Just Say No: When you are speaking with a new Dominant online, on the phone or over coffee in a public space, most will make a request at some point. This could be to have a play scene, attend a fetish event together, to collar you, etc. As best as you can, kindly turn down the offer.
“Thank you, but I would prefer to get to know you better before playing.”
“I’m sorry, but I just don’t feel comfortable going to public events yet.”
“I’m sorry, but I don’t have an interest in that kind of kink”
A real Dominant has no problems with rejection and will handle it with grace. They will understand you decision and respect it.
For many fake Dominants a switch will be flicked and their whole demeanor will change. They will become angry, argumentative and incensed. Better to see this childish overly demanding threatening behavior now rather than later.
How Do They Treat Others: Want to know how this future Dominant is going to treat you, see how they treat others around them. Do they treat people in customer service/waiting staff with respect? How do they treat their friends? How do they treat your friends? What kind of relationship do they have with their family and how do they treat them?
If you can’t answer these fairly straight forward questions you probably don’t know enough about this person to be locked in a room with them.
Will recognizing these traits and using these tests ensure 100% that a Dominant is real? Of course not, nothing in this life is guaranteed all we can do is everything in our power to ensure we are safe while learning as much as we can about another person before ever deciding to engage with them.
I wish you all the best in your search for the Dominant of your dreams.
Kind regards,
Master Cigar67
Origionally posted on another site by Master Cigar67
