I admit I am too fueled by anger.
I am not the one to start things, usually my outbursts are spawned from others being harassed or attacked. But I do lash out a lot. I know I do.
In a world where its commonplace to be hateful and spiteful, where people don't know how to actually talk to one another, it's hard to /not/ join in. It's hard to believe that being nice or walking away is the right choice. The desire is to spit back one's hatred right in their face. Vengeance is sweet after all.
But real power... True, unblemished, and the strongest power, comes from love. It comes from choosing to still care for someone and to consider their needs and issues as well as your own. The power I want, one where nothing can bother me because it doesnt matter, comes from a much higher place than hatred.
Which is why it's so hard to achieve. How does one love someone when that person does nothing but hurt? How can someone forgive when the enemy is ruthless, brutal, doesnt have any empathy or care?
It's hard.
It sometimes feels impossible.
But, the strongest force in the world is love. And I'm not talking strictly about romantic love. So, to be powerful, to break the worry of what others believe about you... You need love.
Loving those who love you back is easy. Even loving those who are indifferent about you is easy. But loving those who feel negatively toward you and act on it?
It's a skill I'm working towards.
But for now... Some people must be ignored. For my own mental sanity. I give others too much credit and power over me. When in reality, /No one/ has power over me, save for God himself. I dont care if you believe or not, I do, so I'm mentioning him.
From now on, no one can have that over me. It's not going to be an easy task, especially right now while this mentality is still new. But starting today, my emotions return to being my own. No one will make me feel that anger again. I cannot allow it.
If one tries, they will be shut out of my life, until such a time that I have power back to handle them. I'm about to cut a lot out for my own health...