I think everyone at some point in their life have real moments of clarity. When they finally realize they can't pretend anymore and they have to face the facts.
Maybe the words "not enough" are the wrong words to use. More specifically you realize that the person you've devoted yourself to and fell for, doesn't feel the same way.
They like you and enjoy talking to you but they can't or won't let themselves go any deeper. It's hard because you don't know if it's because of their past or if they just don't feel what you feel.
Those perfect moments between you when the connection feels unbreakable, are fewer and fewer. When getting him to share more than another hilarious story are like pulling teeth. When suspicion and silences become the norm. You have to acknowledge reality.
I don't have all the answers but one thing I do know is that you can't change another person. You can't make them trust or love you. It's either freely given or not at all.
I also know that I'm worthy and deserving of more. I walked away from long-term marriage because I finally realized that and settling for less.....isn't an option.
So although much was assumed and hurtful things written, I don't regret anything. He gave me what he could and for that I'll always be grateful. He helped me find my voice and own my truth. And for that, a part of me will always love him.
