Been here a few days
It's quiet... Little hums of neighbor's tvs or one tiny doggy, not much noise beyond that
I don't miss the slamming of locker doors
I don't miss the loud as fuck hand dryer
I'm overjoyed I have a bathtub again
So far I was given a couch, a little dining table and two chairs, a microwave and some dishes
I got 3 blankets too which is cozy
Sleeping on the couch has been really nice
It's a nice couch
The shelter beds were really firm futon type things, not very comfortable
The couch is soft and I sink a little and cuddle into it and it's nice
The weather here has been all over the place
Hot one day, snow the next, tornado warnings, wind from hell etc
Used the public bus system I was trying my hardest to avoid using
The good news, it did get me from point a to point b a couple times
The bad news
You feel every pot hole
It is the bumpiest thing known to mankind
It made me 15 to 20 mins late to work
There's no seat belts and you're josseled around like hell
.... Ya, not really something I would recommend..
I still gotta use it a little as I got stuck in between pay days
Just 2 more days to go then I'll be fine
Thankfully my boss has been cool and understanding about everything lately
But I guess I'll confess that ya, getting the apartment kinda took everything for a second, in paid weekly so it's not a big deal but oof
So yea I'm living off rice bowls, ravioli and canned meat, but I have had juice and veggies for several meals so I'm trying haha..
The oats were too expensive here and I didn't really wanna live off oatmeal lmao
But I've been making snazzy rice bowls for cheap so I'm trying to make sure I'm alright
And I'll get real groceries once pay day lands
Lately I've been better about taking my meds and doing my skin care
Even took care of my feet
I can tell I lost a lot of weight though..
My curves are extremely pointy and my thighs got thinner.
I know I was like 315 lbs at some point last year, then 305 lbs, then 295 lbs, then 285 lbs so I think I'm like 275 lbs ish currently? I'll have to get a scale and see...
Between last may and now... It's been a lot..
My brain lately feels like
Last May feels like it happened 6 months ago
Living 6 months at mom's feels like it never happened
Living 3 months at a shelter felt like 3 weeks
And honestly.. I feel like I was fake living at the shelter... Like some days it felt obvious I was acting and wearing a mask and other days felt genuine.. But the "friends" I made... Were we even friends? It felt shallow and surface level even coming from me, no real deep connections.. Everyone was like oh you gotta visit some time or invite me for dinner and I was like haha ya....... Probably never gunna actually happen.. Others are like, give yourself time, you'll make friends.. And I'm just.. Over it?... I'm still healing from bs, and grieving things and I feel like I'm being a rude person by not wanting to make friends... I want to but I'm so exhausted and burned still that I genuinely can't right now.. I wish Arkansas never happened..