It's pretty quiet here, occasionally I'll hear a faint hum of someone's tv, idle chit chat down the hallway or someone's small doggy
Other than that it's rather quiet, peaceful and not much to bother me
I don't miss the loud as fuck hand dryer from the shelter nor the slamming of lockers
It's oddly quiet and I'm not sure what to think about that..
I did finally order my air mattress and will get that over the weekend, and a four foot teddy bear cause I can lmao.
I get paid weekly and occasional over time so little by little I'll make this apartment a cozy home
Doing laundry today, the machine was pretty simple to figure out
Today at work though, I had someone hit on me and ask for my number
He was way too eager and probably just wanted to smash which I'm not about that
But it made me question, am I pretty?
I mean I know I'm cute and I have curves and lost like 20 lbs but.. I've had 3 different hot guys tell me my eyes are pretty or asking if I had a man and it's like no? I'm working on myself?
Some coworkers joked saying I should of let myself have fun
But sex without love and devotion feels empty and useless to me
I'm still someone who needs a connection before sex and wants to only have sex with the one I'm devoted to
I'm still healing tho..
I heard a saying "heal your wounds so they don't bleed onto others"
I say fully aware that I ran out of lexopro and had to move my mental health appointment to the end of April
(Shhhhh, if the sadists don't find out I'm playing hookie, what's the harm) haha....
... And I was supposed to have a therapy zoom call at some point but haven't bothered cause I haven't felt I really need anything?
I feel mostly stable, a bit sad and bored but nothing major
... I say as if I didn't eat just rice and tuna last week and picked this week for soup because I feel so utterly lazy and don't wanna bother with the stove
I'll get better groceries soon, just trying to get used to everything again and ya fine, I am burned out emotionally
... And worked 49 hours..
Usually it's 32 to 36 but we had someone walk out so we all got extra hours..
I did finally get myself a pillow so at least I'm not sleeping on a stiff towel anymore
I'll have an air mattress, actual pillows, blankets and a teddy bear by the weekend
Just gotta be comfy until then..
.. And okay fine if someone wants to yank me for playing frogger today and almost losing, you can lmao...
To be fair I genuinely did look both ways before crossing the street today and I was in the clear but then there was a van and they honked at me but I'm fine and carried on with my shopping
But given that intersection is a mess, ya, I'm done with that..
I just really didn't wanna bother with Walmart today so I waddled over to dollar tree instead
.. And ya next time I'll Uber
Oh ya, speaking of uber, between using that and the bus system, I have found pros and cons of both
Uber is usually 13 bucks, today they wanted 50. I said fuck that and waddled my happy ass up to the bus stop
Ya I was 15 mins late to work but my boss let me stay an extra hour and he's understanding since half his staff also uses the bus or walks there. So no biggie there
As for how I feel about the job, I actually don't mind the gas station.. They treat me right and customers really appreciate how bubbly I am..
They said I have a good work ethic but I'm just cleaning all the time cause I'm bored and there's several hours we don't have anything to do or anyone there?
I saw one customer with an eternity collar a few weeks back.. I instantly smiled, over joyed they may have found their person and told them to take it easy in the snowy weather we had prior..
As for the neighbors, met a couple, it's mostly just elderly or disabled folks or others with ptsd like me who needed somewhere quiet to live
That's all I have for now.