NLA-Utah’s weekend retreat is an event unlike anything else I’ve experienced. It’s called a retreat but it’s more like an intensive in that participants and presenters are encouraged to dig deeper inside themselves and their relationships.
Two years ago was the first weekend retreat. It was an event that was in the works for at least two years before it happened. That first event was emotionally intense for at least half the people who attended (most of the submissives/slaves had some sort of epiphany and many doms had similar reactions). As soon as we knew about this year’s event we were ready to buy our tickets simply based on the first weekend retreat.
Most events are held at convention centers or hotels. This means that for at least part of the time—the drive to the event, while going to find meals, etc. you may not be in a kink friendly environment. This weekend retreat was all inclusive so participants don’t need to leave the space or their kinky headspace for the entire weekend.
Friday was the beginning of the retreat. It began with people finding their rooms (there is a room with queen size bunk beds! QUEEN SIZE BUNK BEDS! SO AWESOME!) and ogling the massive space and the magnificent view. It’s a day for getting into the right head space, meeting people, and relaxing. In the evening there was a formal reception where the special guests were introduced and the rules were gone over (i.e. don’t be a dick). Our special guests were Dan and Dawn from the Erotic Awakenings podcast and Lady Moonfyre, a presenter a group of us met at the kink event Conception in British Columbia (another event that I highly recommend).
Saturday we broke into two tracks for most of the day: the dominant track and the submissive track. Participants could go to either track and mix and match. Since I consider myself some sort of submissive, I opted for those classes so I’ll just be writing about those classes.
The first class was a discussion about being a submissive and communication. We talked about how while we know how important it is to communicate our needs, it’s a lot harder in practice for many of us. There was a discussion about the challenges of communicating in a polyamorous relationship. We shared our own tips for effective communication.
The second class was about how mindfulness can improve your ability to serve your dominant. Dawn made a very convincing case for daily meditation and the value of focusing on the moment. Mindfulness can be a terrific tool to help us calm down and savor the moments we have with one another. This is definitely something I need to utilize in my everyday life.
The third class of the day was after our delicious lunch. Lady Moonfyre talked about role playing and how to make things happen even when our bodies (and state laws) might not let it happen. She emphasized the importance of involving senses other than eyesight to set the scene. It’s really amazing how if sight is taken out of the picture how easy it is to make a believable scene, for instance, if you have the fantasy of being taken to your office and being fucked that’s more than likely going to get you fired (even if it is on a weekend…you never know). But, if you’re blindfolded and driven around a bit before being led into a place that smells like your office, has a rolling chair and a desk, you can approximate the sensation of being in your office (extra points for printer and computer sounds, maybe even find a recording of people typing). There was also an emphasis on the value of sharing our fantasies with each other so we can inspire one another and help each other figure out how to make crazy awesome scenes happen. Most of us are creative sick fucks and we love collaboration!
The last class of the day was Stoking the Fire also taught by Lady Moonfyre. For this class everyone came together to talk about ways of keeping our passion alive and finding ways of being creative in long term relationships. It was a great way to end the classes for the day.